The 50 Great American Films 11-15
The next five films of the Chris Moeller Top 50 list, alphabetically, from C to D...
CITIZEN KANE directed by Orson Welles (1941)
It has been said that "Kane" is the movie that not only taught directors how to make movies, but taught audiences how to watch them. It is, above all, a testament to the concept of giving the filmmaker total control of his vision. The "boy genius" Welles was only 26 years old when he made this semi-biographical and largely unflattering story about publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst. The movie has elements of other well-know figures of the time, but the Kane character is principally Hearst, a remarkably wealthy media mogul of the time who attempted to bribe RKO Studios into destroying the print.
Welles' cinematographer, Gregg Toland, pioneered deep focus photography, which directs the eye to specific objects on the screen. Welles and co-writer Joseph Mankiewicz peppered the script with overlapping dialogue. More than 60 years later, the movie still plays brilliantly because of it's energy, it's non-linear narrative, it's adult themes, and the brash, lively, and complex character at its center. The conventional wisdom is that Welles peaked at 26 and never again delivered on his enormous promise, but here he created a masterpiece, drawing upon his own character for Kane. We see his ambition, his bravura, his ego, his charm, the peak of his success and his subsequent disintegration. For one moment, a film genius triumphs over the system that would destroy him. Everyone should see it.
CITY LIGHTS directed by Charlie Chaplin (1931)
Speaking of the writer-slash-director-slash-actor-slash-producer, here is Charlie Chaplin, who is such a giant in the history of American film that he received two honorary Oscars- 43 years apart. "City Lights" is Chaplin at his most consciously poetic. It's equal parts sentimental and hysterical, and thoroughly inventive. After just several minutes of viewing, you forget that there is no dialogue. Words would only clutter the screen. The movie contains the famous boxing ring scene in which "the Tramp" uses fancy footwork to keep the referee between himself and his opponent. It also contains perhaps the most emotional scene in movie history when the blind girl has her sight restored and sees the Tramp for the first time. Chaplin's character is endlessly endearing, his performance so expertly timed and expressive. He was a gift to humanity.
DO THE RIGHT THING directed by Spike Lee (1989)
By putting our social actions on the screen and providing them with thought-provoking consequences, Spike Lee has achieved film's highest purpose. He, first, uses great precision to introduce the characters and inject them with love, humor, and anger. (The soundtrack contributes strength and immediacy.) By the time the movie has us examining our own lives and beliefs, we're able to judge the characters fairly. We have witnessed the complexity of their lives. When I first saw the movie, I was left angry. The destruction of Sal's Pizzeria is begun by a character that we are meant to like. Is it an act of betrayal? Lee's script- penned in just two weeks- doesn't play completely fair. The act of destruction is presented as the penultimate moment, and therefore it becomes the center of discussion and debate. Look deeper though. What led to it? Who's truly guilty? We see most of the crime in our nation's cities at its conclusion. The nightly news shows us the ending of the despaired lives. We don't see the details along the path that got us to the scene, only the blood on the street.
DOUBLE INDEMNITY directed by Billy Wilder (1944)
"Double Indemnity" is the perfect movie for a voice-over narrative because it's about that little voice in your head- the voice that usually tells you right from wrong, sometimes tells you to forget what's right, and, on occasion, seems to be emanating instead from the vacinity of your zipper. Walter Neff is an indistinguishable insurance salesman played by the indistinguishable Fred MacMurray. He's recruited by a bored socialite (Barbara Stanwyck) in a plot to murder her husband. The title refers to the life insurance policy in their scam, one that would pay off twice the amount for an "accidental" death- though the true payoff seems to be the satisfaction gleamed from the scam's successful execution. The movie's plot came up in strict violation of the Production Code of the '40s, but Wilder stuck to his guns and provided the film with what the author Ed Sikov calls "an unusual blend of finesse and vulgarity, narrative grace and sexual sewage." I think his skill is aptly demonstrated in this piece of dialogue-
"He'll be in then," says Stanwyck's Phyllis Dietrichson to Neff.
"Who?"
"My husband. You were anxious to talk to him, weren't you?"
"Yeah, but I'm sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean."
"There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour."
"How fast was I going, officer?"
"I'd say around ninety."
"Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket."
"Suppose I let you off with a warning this time."
"Suppose it doesn't take."
"Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles."
"Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder."
"Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder."
"That tears it."
DUCK SOUP directed by Leo McCarey (1933)
The plot was never central to a Marx Brothers movie. In the Depression year of 1931, Variety magazine said the typical plot structure resembled "one of those California bungalows which spring up overnight." Still, for all of their legendary anarchy, you can never say the Brothers lacked purpose. In '33, with half of Europe embracing fascism and America fast asleep, Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Zeppo went to work on a political satire- one without a sophisticated narrative or pointed message. It contained only the Brothers' aggressive chaos.
"Duck Soup" provides one inspired comedy moment after another, including the most captivating scene of the Brothers' career. Harpo, disguised as Groucho and having sneaked into a house, accidentally shatters a mirror. He's forced to reflect Groucho's movement to avoid detection, just as Chico stumbles in, also disguised as Groucho.
Of course, America at the time had no use for "Duck Soup." It flopped, and the Brothers changed studios, but the chaotic freedom on display in the film caught hold with college audiences in revival houses of the 1960s. A new generation of Americans was ready for the Marx Brothers. They understood that a hefty portion of anarchy is good for democracy.
Films 1-5 of the CM Top 50 were posted Dec. 18
Films 6-10 were posted Dec. 23
BCS BS
I watched the Iowa State Cyclones' victory in the Independence Bowl last night, but derived little pleasure from it. What did the victory mean? What are the implications? The Cyclones appear ready to declare their season a success. I'm not so sure. They're better than Miami of Ohio. That much, we know.
The college football season contains no reward for me. No emotion. No drama. No closure. I don't understand the mindset of a fan who invests his time and energy into a sports season that may be decided ultimately by a computer printout. I find it troubling that a so-called democratic society has become so at ease with its rampant unfairness and inequality that it accepts a bowl system without defined standards. I'm now convinced that most of the football establishment prefers an end-of-the-season championship controversy to a clear resolution. It creates a much needed topic for college football discussion on sports talk radio.
What makes sports most appealing is the aspect of fairness. In sports, actions have consequences. Success and failure are strictly measured. Everyone plays by the same rules. This rarely exists in the rest of America. The Reverend Jesse Jackson has pointed out- with great merit, I believe- that this is why minorities and the underclass do so well in sports. When a level playing field exists, hunger and determination win out. Jackie Robinson became a reality in Major League Baseball because the Dodgers believed he would help them win games. Once the Dodgers had the talented Robinson, other teams integrated to keep pace on the diamond.
If we demanded of our political and community leaders what we demand of our athletic figures, we could achieve much more. This violates the conventional wisdom surrounding the "spoiled jock," but consider this- rhetoric and promises don't count for squat in the sports world. You have to back your reputation during the competition. Sports fans closely examine the statistics. They typically have high expectations and little patience. Conversely, Americans pay scant attention to the voting records of Congress. Little is demanded of our political leaders other than that they convey a vague sense of optimism.
I say scrap this BCS garbage. Stop protecting whoever it is that's profiting from the current system. (Probably the corporate boards of the various bowl games.) The traditions of college football aren't so glorious that they can't be amended. The Rose Bowl, for example, was never that prestigious to begin with. For most of its history, only 20 teams were eligible to play in it. Much of the current system could even remain, except that the top 8 teams would enter a single-elimination tournament with the direct purpose of rooting out a champion. There would be seven games over three weekends, 4,2, and 1. And don't give me any lip about kids missing additional classes. We know that's already the lowest priority on everyone's list. Besides, the three weekends would fall during winter break for most schools. College football could sell incredibly lucrative sponsorships for the seven game tournament, financially surpassing even those of the NCAA's men's basketball tournament. With the top 8 teams given a fair shot at the title, the championship could finally be won on the field, rather than on the air during the Sports Zoo with Jabber Jake and the Booger Man.
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The current American aid figure for the tsunami disaster is $35 million. Republicans plan to spend $40 million on President Bush's inaugural festivities.
The season of giving
After a U.N. relief organizer called western nations "stingy" on Monday, Secretary of State Colin Powell announced that the U.S. would be raising its contribution to the tsunami recovery efforts from $15 million to almost $40 million. The death toll of the earthquake-induced tidal wave in southeast Asia has left an estimated million people homeless and the death toll has passed 51,000.
In unrelated news, the New York Times reports this morning that Wall Street year-end bonuses will exceed $15.9 billion in 2004. In a press release, the New York state comptroller's office reported that the sum will be divided among the approximately 158,000 securities industry employees. That works out to roughly $100,400 per person. Investors rejoice! Our nation's record economic growth has been fairly rewarded.
One senior investment banker told the Times, "I have a sailboat, a motor boat, an apartment, an S.U.V. What could I possibly need? Maybe a little Porsche for the Hamptons house, but probably not."
Fish and loaves or Fish and chips
A new survey by YouGov finds that only 44 percent of Britons believe in God. The survey reveals little evidence of hostility towards either religious people or beliefs. A majority of British people neither hopes nor fears for a life after death. Only a third of respondents believe in Heaven, and even fewer believe in Hell and the Devil.
I'm not stunned by these results, based on a modest amount of information about the country, but it is stunning to me how two countries- theirs and ours- that share so much of the same culture can have such desparate beliefs. A Gallup poll in November showed that somewhere between 85 to 90 percent of Americans believe in God. It's also interesting that as recently as 1968, the number of Britons who said they believed in God was 77 percent.
The hidden difference here, I believe, is that Americans have found a way to make religion profitable. It never ceases to amaze me how much money poor people are willing to give to their church. You can drive through Oklahoma and Arkansas and see these extraordinary steeples rising up alongside the interstate. There's often no other significant industry in town. The minister, by extension, wields more influence than the politicians or civic leaders. Economic inequality, which the US has in spades, becomes a useful recruiting device. They use modern science of public relations to create the illusion of oppression, like the bogus issue of public nativities. It's a very sophisticated effort.
It may appear by my comments that I'm anti-religion. Maybe. I consider myself an agnostic. For me, the unknowable is simply that- unknowable. (Homer Simpson might be right- if I pick the wrong church, then every week I keep making God madder and madder.) What has surely become a problem in the country, though, is this growing sense that we don't control our destiny, that we need to surrender ourselves completely to the higher power. We have a situation now where only 35 percent of Americans believe that Darwin's Theory of Evolution is "supported by the evidence." Regardless of whether God is out there or not, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have given us these brains if she didn't want us to use them.
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What
would make America better is if every person had their own theme song. Your music would play everytime you walked into a room. I'm just shooting the shit here, but I think a good theme song would be "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. It's got a peppy open and a crescendo into the first lyric. It would build nicely as I arrive on the scene, glad-handing and forearm bashing friends and family. I would start with that one, until I got sick of it myself. Then I would probably wail one of the big bands for a while, like Count Basie. Something with a big horn section. Oh yeah, you should also be able to change your song anytime you want.
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This month, they had a profile on former Detroit Tigers firstbaseman Cecil Fielder on Bryant Gumbel's HBO sports show. Fielder is millions of dollars in debt to one of Donald Trump's casinos, and he's become estranged from his wife and family, including his professional ballplayer son, Prince. He didn't cooperate on the story, but the family is talking because they've been locked out of their home in Florida. Tough situation. I'm sure of one thing after watching the story. If there were a cable channel that devoted 24 hours to stories about ex-baseball players, I would have much less time to write this blog. It's fascinating. What do these men do with the last 50 years of their lives? I work with a woman who grew up in Arkansas with former Met/Padre/Royal Kevin McReynolds. She's kept me abreast of McReynolds' life over the last five years. He's married for a second time (after much cajoling) with a blended family, and he owns a hunting club. A couple years ago, he traveled overseas as part of Rick Aguilera's retirement party. They have a lovely Christmas card this year.
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By the time you read this, the Rams may be eliminated from the NFL playoff race. Watching Monday Night Football, it's evident that "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire would be a good theme song for Rams rookie running back Stephen Jackson. I would be willing to share it with him.
Sometimes the best presents come in small packages
The following is all you need to know about the new Cardinals' shortstop, 5'7" 165 lb David Eckstein:
Anaheim broadcaster and former Cardinals great Rex Hudler named his son after him-
David Scott Hudler
Merry Christmas
The 50 Great American Films 6-10
The next five films of the Chris Moeller Top 50 List, alphabetically, from B to C...
THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN directed by James Whale (1935)
The only film sequel that truly surpasses the original, Whale's masterpiece adds pep and irreverence to the iconic "Frankenstein" of four years previous. This time around, the monster (Boris Karloff) is given a 44 word vocabulary and a love interest- the twitchy, uniquely-tressed Bride, played by Elsa Lanchester. Whale skillfully combines tongue-in-cheek humor with horror, while introducing the shadowy photography that would flourish in the film noirs of the '40s. The film also tugs at the heart with the famous scene in which the monster befriends a blind hermit.
The two "Frankensteins" should be viewed concurrently, along with 1998's "Gods and Monsters" about the life of Whale. The director, it turns out, inflicted his big screen monster with the same deep-seeded loneliness he felt in his life. "Alone bad. Friend Good."
BULL DURHAM directed by Ron Shelton (1989)
With all due respect to fans of science fiction, there is no group of filmgoers harder to please than baseball fans. You can't fake it with us. If the swing is wrong, or the pitching mechanics, or the language, it stands out like a thumb that's just been drilled by a Roger Clemens fastball. The reason for repeated cinematic failure is simple. Hollywood recognizes the inherent drama of a baseball game, but falsely concludes that it can be re-created on the screen. The story arc of a game or a season is too rich and uniquely perfect to be duplicated. There's not a baseball fan alive that would rather watch the big game in "Major League" than the real thing on television. Shelton, to his enormous credit, didn't even try.
His movie is basically a series of anecdotes gathered loosely into a plot about minor league players. It's full of surprises, so you feel like you're getting a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the real thing- in other words, you're getting the part of the game you can't get anywhere else. "Bull Durham" is about the larger themes of life- savoring youth, the realities of aging, good fortune, and redemption. It's about where people search for answers, and why they seek them. Or maybe it's just sex and baseball. Your call.
CABARET directed by Bob Fosse (1972)
Before 1972, movie musicals were about wholesome hayrack rides and people teaching fun songs to children. After 1972, movie musicals rarely existed at all. That stitch in time corresponded with the theatrical release of "Cabaret." In Fosse's film, no one breaks spontaneously into song. Instead, the floor show at the Kit Kat Klub is the
prism through which we see the characters' lives.
And the apocolyptic setting demands realism. Fascism is breaking out across Germany in the early '30s, and the employees and patrons of the Kit Kat see their joint as the last refuge of freedom and decadence. The one musical number that takes place outside the club is "Tomorrow Belongs to Me," sung in a country-inn beer garden by an angel-faced, blonde boy who, if he hasn't already, is destined to join Hitler's Youth Movement. It's chilling to watch. The entire movie carries a chill.
CASABLANCA directed by Michael Curtiz (1942)
"Casablanca" embodies 'the dream factory' aspect of Hollywood more than any other picture. Its photography and performances are beautiful. Its dialogue has become iconic. Its signature song, "As Time Goes By," can move one to tears. But, to me, it's also the most patriotic movie ever made. As Rick, Humphrey Bogart is the only American in the film. The world is at war, and Rick is trying to keep his nightclub in business in French Morocco. He's tired, largely indifferent, and carries a reputation for self-protection. Point of fact- he doesn't even identify himself as American. Early in the film he's asked what nationality he is, and answers, "I'm a drunkard." But he's a romantic at heart, and his heart has been broken. As he's reacquainted with his past love, Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), he falls helplessly back into passion. In the end, he chooses social purpose over self-interest. He's a patriot because of his actions, not his words. He is a symbol, not of America, but of what America
should be.
CHINATOWN directed by Roman Polanski (1974)
The 1970s was a great decade for movies, but "Chinatown" stands out because it plays by the old rules. It was a faithful new story in the 'noir' catalog, but, unlike many of the other filmmakers of his generation, Polanski is not winking at the audience. Along with screenwriter Robert Towne, he re-creates an old Los Angeles, one that existed before the film industry grew up inside of- and around- it. The movie carries an absolutely fascinating, fact-based story about the scandalous birth of the San Fernando Valley. "Either bring the water to L.A. or you bring L.A. to the water," John Huston's character explains. Polanski seems to filter the camera's lens so that the California sun never quite illuminates, and Nicholson strips Bogie's old 'gumshoe' role of whatever romance it has left. "Chinatown" doesn't compromise. Today, it would be butchered.
It also plays great in black and white. Give it a try after first viewing.
(The first five movies of the CM Top 50 were posted 12/18)
The Kennedy Center Honors
Tonight, I watched the Kennedy Center show on CBS. My man, Warren Beatty, was among the recipients. More than any other actor, Beatty has played the characters I've wanted to be in life- ladies man, outlaw, politician of conscience, revolutionary, even quarterback for the Rams.
I'm a sucker for award shows, anyway, but the Kennedy Honors, televised each year during the holidays, usually make for an especially interesting show. The most bizarre aspect is always the presence of the President and First Lady. It's very formal and dignified, and I remember as a kid, fantasizing about becoming President, and then being the type of President that would get up and join in the performance. Does everyone do that?
The last four years have been even more awkward than usual since George W. Bush and the artistic community are so politically polarized. I have determined quite decisively that the director of this year's show voted for Kerry. We got plenty of reaction shots of the Senator in a kick-ass seat next to Louis Gossett, Jr. The possibility of political conflict always make me watch the show on edge. But what is it, exactly, that I expect will happen? The Bushes aren't going to get offended and walk out. George isn't going to wind up leg wrestling Ossie Davis. The first couple just sat respectfully again this year, probably wondering what Toby Keith has to do to get one of the giant medallions.
Personally, I'm torn between wanting some fireworks and wanting everyone to get back to their cabs and motorcades without incident. That's why inviting Robert Downey Jr. is an act of genius. I don't know what the hell he has to do with Elton John, but I also don't care?
The most memorable thing I ever saw on the Kennedy Center show was Bill Clinton grooving to the Johnny Cash tribute in 1996. It was really over the top, even for him. He was at his lip-biting best- clapping, singing along, and just generally getting funky during a gospel choir salute to his fellow Arkansan. That night was the peak of his term in office.
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"The Simpsons" Season 5 is out on DVD today. I won't review the entire '93-'94 season, but, just to give you an idea of the quality of this programming, the first four episodes are...
"Homer's Barbershop Quartet" - the Be Sharps,
"Cape Feare" - a spoof of the film, featuring Sideshow Bob,
"Homer Goes To College" - screened at this year's Moeller Television Festival, and
"Rosebud" - Mr. Burns' search for his beloved lost teddy bear, Bobo
Women I Love
Due to production difficulties, Esquire was unable to fulfill the 2005 Calendar that was offered in my recent gift order. They enclosed a deck of Women We Love playing cards as a substitute. They hope the gift recipient (my brother) enjoys the subscription and that I enjoy the cards. They apologized for the inconvenience.
These cards are great. These are 52 gorgeous ladies. For the record, the Queen of Hearts is Catherine Zeta-Jones, and the Aces are Britney Spears, Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Lopez, and Pamela Anderson.
The Queen of Hearts
should be Naomi Watts (9 of Spades,) and the Aces
should be Amanda Peet (7 of Diamonds,) Debra Messing (3 of Hearts,) Kellita Smith (6 of Hearts,) and Leslie Mann (2 of Hearts.)
You can view the Women We Love Gallery and order the cards at
www.esquire.com .
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"Sideways," the Official Movie of the Chris Moeller blog for 2004, is making most year-end top 10 lists. It's #8 on Roger Ebert's list. Ken Tucker, the former Entertainment Weekly TV critic, put it at the top of his list at New York Magazine.
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I've been a big supporter of St. Louis Rams football coach Mike Martz. As the architect of the Greatest Offensive Show on Turf, he had as much to do with the Super Bowl victory as Dick Vermeil. He turned a 5 win franchise into a 10 win franchise. But it's time for Mike to show his mettle. The NFC has fallen over itself to keep the Rams in the playoff race, yet they've been the worst team in football since the crops came in.
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I saw "Ray" this weekend. The music was phenomenal, Jamie Foxx was astonishing, and it was great to see the usually noble Regina King play a heroin addict. The rest of the movie, though, was painfully conventional.
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The "Anchorman" DVD drops December 28th. That was some funny shit. I'm going to rent it for the maximum five days, and keep it for a minimum of seven.
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Baltimore Orioles' fans are going to love Steve Kline.
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I think Goldie Hawn is a big talent.
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I stole that last one from Larry King's old USA Today column.
I want to tell you about my friend, Walt Jocketty
Cardinals' General Manager Walt Jocketty reminds me of Harry the Hat on television's "Cheers." In the early 1980's, when Gussies, Whiteys, and astroturf decorated Busch Stadium, Harry, played by Harry Anderson, would wander into Cheers and politely separate the bar patrons from their wallets. (He was not yet assigned to the bench of New York District Court.) Harry referred to Norm, Coach, Cliff, and company as his "pigeons," and Jocketty has pigeons of his own.
On Saturday, Jocketty politely separated the Oakland A's from the best left-handed pitcher under 40 years old in all of baseball. Mark Mulder will take the ball in Houston on April 5th, wearing the 'birds-on-bat,' and giving the Cardinals their first All-Star caliber southpaw since John Tudor, and their first lefty "hammer" since Steve Carlton.
What makes Jocketty's maneuver most impressive is that he did it in a financial market that has gone haywire once again. Fiscal sanity, it seems, lasted all of one year in baseball. In the '04-'05 offseason, teams are dropping astronomical dollars on mediocre talent like Jaret Wright, who got $7 million a year from the Yankees and didn't even pass his physical on the first trip to the MRI.
Walt understands that the free agent market, while furious and exciting, is bad economics. By nature, that market is an "auction," and auctions produce inflated values. A mid-market team like the Cardinals cannot be giving $8 million a year to a Matt Clement. They couldn't even land a Tim Hudson by trade, after teams with deeper resources entered the bidding.
What he did, instead, was pursue a stealth attack on a hurler that most of baseball didn't even know was available. Walt finalized the deal on family vacation during an 8 hour flight to Hawaii. A GM feeding frenzy for Mulder never developed.
Only Curt Schilling has more wins than Mulder over the last four years (74 to 72), and no left-hander has more since the start of that 2001 season. Not Randy Johnson. Not Barry Zito. Not Glavine, Leiter, Milton, Pettitte, or Donovan Osborne. Mulder will have baseball's premier offense behind him, and he holds a career record of 65-4 when his team scores four or more runs. He's only 27 years old, and will earn a more than reasonable $6 million next season. The Cards hold a club option for '06 at $7.25 mil. That leaves financial flexibility for Walt to rebuild the Cards' middle infield for the last year of the old ballpark.
All that being said, this trade is not a repeat of Jocketty's last trade with the A's. Mulder is a premier baseball talent like Mark McGwire, but Dan Haren, Kiko Calero, and Daric Barton are not T.J. Mathews, Eric Ludwick, and Blake Stein. Haren showed all of baseball what he could do last year, pitching lights-out in September and October. Kiko Calero is an established big league reliever with nasty stuff, and Barton was chosen the 2nd best prospect in the Midwest League this year by Baseball America. The trade will pay some dividends for the A's, but Jocketty couldn't pass this up.
Mulder is only three years older than Haren, and already established. Calero is traded from a position of strength- right-handed relief, and Barton is a catching prospect caught behind Yadier Molina. Barton put up offensive numbers similar to those of Albert Pujols at Peoria (.313 with 36 extra base hits), but his defense is considered highly suspect. Those offensive numbers become quite ordinary at other positions.
Saturday's trade creates a five man rotation for the Cardinals (Mulder, Carpenter, Marquis, Suppan, Morris) in which each man won at least 15 games last year. I wouldn't want to be a NL Central Division club facing those arms and those odds, having to already erase 13 games in the standings.
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That reminds me, are you a fan of the Chicago Cubs? If so, I want to hear from you. I live and work among many Cubs fans, and yet I don't see them anymore. I haven't heard a peep from a Cubs fan since July. It's highly unusual. If you're out there, how are you? Are you still following baseball? Will you be going to games next year? How did you spend the beautiful autumn we enjoyed in the Midwest? Please drop a line. I want to make sure you're still around, and that you're OK.
The 50 Great American Films 1-5
This is the first in a ten-part series summarizing the greatest 50 films in American history according to me. They are American independent and Hollywood studio films only. I haven't been exposed to many foreign films, but I've seen the American Film Institute's Top 100 movie catalog in its entirety. I've also seen enough other US films to recognize the Institute's mistakes.
The AFI list was stocked with too many overwrought, poorly-aged "classics." I like my movies, by and large, to be crisply told, clever, and adult-themed. My list is not hard and fast. It's a capsule of this moment in time. Time that is not measured linearly like an hourglass, but like the tide of the ocean, moving constantly in and out. It would have been a very different list when I was 20 years old, and it will be a very different list when I'm 40.
Unlike Oscar, I'm partial to the funny. A filmmaker doesn't get extra points if the grasp falls short of the reach. There are no points for ambition alone, and no 'A's for effort. If there is a template, it is this: A movie is to be judged, not by what it's about, but
how it is about it. Did the director achieve his/her goals? Then, was it meaningful for me?
The films will be presented just five at a time to allow for sober reflection, and they will be presented alphabetically. It is not my wish to pit them against each other beyond this, and it's beyond my ability to even do that. Think of them as 50 nominees for Best Picture, and we all know it's an honor just to be nominated.
If you have favorites- and you do, then I want to hear from you. I want to know where I erred, what I missed, and why your favorite deserves to be here. You won't know all of mine, and I won't know all of yours. Because they are being presented alphabetically, it may take a few days for me to get to your favorite or, likewise, to shun it. Bear with me, and enjoy.
The first five, from A to B...
AIRPLANE! directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker (1980)
It's fortuitous that this is the first movie on the list because it's a microcosm of the Top 50 as a whole. It's smart, energetic, and often been neglected. It's stripped to the bone in length at 88 minutes. There's nothing superfluous here except for the gags, which are strown like confetti at a championship parade. The spoof of disaster flicks lifts, often verbatim, some of the unintentionally funny dialogue from movies like 1957's "Zero Hour:" "We have to find somebody who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner." I don't think it can be overstated how a movie like this, released during a horrendous national movie slump, changed Hollywood for the better. It called moviemakers out on their often ponderous and predictable storytelling. It surely deserves a place on this list. And stop calling me Shirley.
THE APARTMENT directed by Billy Wilder (1960)
Wilder is the American standard of movie comedy since the introduction of sound, and he peaked here, winning the rare triple crown of Oscars- Best Screenplay (with I.A.L. Diamond), Best Director, and Best Picture. The movie told a very contemporary story of America in 1960 during the conflict between Eisenhower sexual repression and Sinatra "Ring-a-Ding-Ding" bachelor freedom. A conflicted corporate lackey, played by Wilder's favorite
everyman, Jack Lemmon, loans his apartment out to his superiors for their sexual trysts. Wilder, inspired by the David Lean movie, "Brief Encounter," worked off the notebook idea, "Movie about a guy who climbs into the warm bed left by two lovers." Lemmon falls for the elevator girl at the company, played by a radiant Shirley MacLaine. Fred MacMurray played against his wholesome image from television's "My Three Sons" and Disney's "The Shaggy Dog" as Lemmon's philandering boss.
BEING JOHN MALKOVICH directed by Spike Jonze (1999)
Jonze went down the rabbit hole in this rich and looney masterpiece from the twisted mind of writer Charlie Kaufman. John Cusack is puppeteer Craig Schwartz, who inadvertently discovers a port hole into the brain of actor John Malkovich. The brain acts as a sort of "Back to the Future" magic DeLorean for Cusack, his underloved wife played by Cameron Diaz, and a tart-tongued co-worker named Maxine, played by Catherine Keener. Maxine holds everyone in her wake, and frequently cuts Craig down to the size of one of his marionettes. Maxine: What do you do? Craig: I'm a puppeteer. Maxine: Check.
The movie inspired a faux autobio-pic by Kaufman, "Adaptation," featuring a detailed, behind-the-scenes look at "Malkovich," and Kaufman's 'twin brother/writing collaborator,' Donald.
THE BIG SLEEP directed by Howard Hawks (1946)
At one point during the filming of Raymond Chandler's pulp novel, Hawks sent a telegram to the author asking him to clarify part of his book's convoluted plot. Was the chauffeur murdered or was it suicide? Chandler didn't know. Fifty-eight years later, it still doesn't matter. "The Big Sleep" is about the process of criminal investigation, not the results. It's about the atmosphere of grimy post-war Los Angeles, Chandler's hard-boiled dialogue, and the chemistry between Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in their first on-screen pairing. Bogart is- now-legendary- detective Phillip Marlowe, a 19th Century man compromised in the immoral underbelly of the new century, asking himself the $50,000 question, "Can I trust this broad?" The question is as relevant today as ever.
BONNIE AND CLYDE directed by Arthur Penn (1967)
I saw "Bonnie and Clyde" in the theater this summer. I'd never seen it on the big screen, but I also realized I had never seen it during the summer. It's a great summer movie. Two gorgeous people are on the road stealing cars and cash, and building a populist legend. You think you're getting a movie-high off the freedom of Miss Bonnie Parker and Mist-ah Clyde Bare-ah, but the noose is gradually tightening around
them. The real sense of freedom is coming from Penn, screenwriters David Newman and Robert Benton, producer/star Warren Beatty, and stage actors Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Estelle Parsons, and Michael J. Pollard. Hollywood was being freed from the moralist Production Code, and some of the greatest artists in America were joining forces on an elaborate, artistic prison break.
"Bonnie and Clyde" is exhilarating, violent, grungy, filled with sex and sexual disfunction, and not willing to pass judgement on its imperfect characters. It hit the American film industry like a hail of gunfire, and succeeded in creating the modern American movie. Penn's Bonnie and Clyde gave their lives for the future of American cinema.
Ms. Benson
The wife of New York Mets pitcher, Kris Benson, is doing more press. Anna Benson told Howard Stern this summer that if her husband ever cheated on her, she would reciprocate by sleeping with each of his Mets teammates and the grounds keepers. Anna, a professional model and former stripper, has also clued us to the fact that she and her husband enjoy sex in public places and have intercourse in each city in which Benson pitches.
In the current Steppin' Out Magazine, Benson is quoted as saying she likes to get hammered before her husband's games. "Not all the time. But... you go sit there and watch your spouse, in front of 20,000 people, pitch a baseball game. It's nervewracking!"
She goes on to say that she finds Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter "attractive," she admires new Met Pedro Martinez because "his fingers are so long," but none of them compare to her husband, who "looks like a Ken doll."
She also says, "If [Kobe Bryant] had been my husband, I would have stood up and grabbed that microphone and beat his a--!"
You can learn more about Anna Benson at
www.annabenson.net .
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Hindsight is 20/20, but CBS made the wrong call when choosing the new host of the Late Late Show. Cardinals' and FOX-TV broadcaster Joe Buck put his mark on the show the last two nights. The production staff of the show also erred when they failed to schedule actor Jon Voight on one of the two nights. Joe Buck interviewing Joe Buck would have been surreal.
It didn't strike me right away, but it was very unusual to have a current, high-profile FOX-TV celebrity hosting a show on another network. FOX and CBS go head-to-head with their NFL coverage every Sunday afternoon. I believe this gig can be attributed to Buck's past employment at KMOX Radio in St. Louis, a tent pole station for the CBS Radio Network. Also, Buck's late father, Jack, was a longtime personality on CBS, hosting Monday Night Football on the radio and CBS-TV's baseball coverage.
Joe was funny, relaxed, and frequently clever on the Late Late Show. What struck me most, though, might sound odd. Outside his normal element, I realized what an unusually strong voice he has. There is a science involved with speech presentation, and Buck has had the training.
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In a ceremony earlier this week, President Bush awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor to Gen. Tommy Franks, Paul Bremer, and George Tenet- three central architects of the War in Iraq. In separate ceremonies, Billy Joel was given an award of distinction from Mothers Against Drunk Driving, and Bill Buckner won a Gold Glove.
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Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper had a good idea today. The Academy Awards should reveal the voting tallys in each category. To inject more drama into the ceremony, they could list the results, starting with fifth place and working up to the top. America loves countdowns, as VH1 and the E! Network remind us every night.
More holiday television programming
The Festivus episode of
Seinfeld airs tonight on TBS. The airing of grievances commences at 8pm Central.
"Spanglish" es muy wonderful
I used to hate Adam Sandler. His movies were mindless, and I feared he had irreparably lowered the audience age demographic of Saturday Night Live. (Tina Fey and Weekend Update later raised it back.) Now Sandler has made, not one, but two excellent films, "Punch-Drunk Love" and "Spanglish." In fact, he not only appeared in them, he was the best part of both of them. I won't give away any plot points, but at one point in "Spanglish" I realized that no other actor could play the part as perfectly light or silly as Sandler does.
I always sensed that "Punch-Drunk Love" was an abberition. The style of the movie was a great departure for Sandler, but he was not transforming his screen persona, a la Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show." Instead, he had hooked up with a talented director (Paul Thomas Anderson) who had written a movie centered around the persona. Sandler would never again be so lucky, I thought. I was wrong. He's been perfectly cast here by writer/director James L. Brooks ("The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "Taxi," Terms of Endearment," "Broadcast News," "The Simpsons," "As Good As It Gets").
Brooks is up to his old tricks. He has a remarkable knack for painting himself into a corner with the drama, and then clawing his way out with laser-beam dialogue. Like "As Good As It Gets," I was convinced halfway through that Brooks wouldn't be able to resolve "Spanglish" to my or anyone else's satisfaction. No plot points here, but case in point in "As Good As It Gets" is the scene between Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt in the restaurant. After already enduring a very rocky relationship, Hunt defies Nicholson to come up with a reason why she shouldn't leave the table and his company. I couldn't have done it. You couldn't have done it. Nicholson's character nails it. Of course, that's also partly the work of the unparalleled Nicholson, and the reason why he has so often been perfectly paired with Brooks.
Gene Siskel used to say that a great movie has two great scenes and no bad ones. One great scene here involves the Latino child interpreting a conversation between her mother and Sandler. The other involves two of the principle characters at Sandler's restaurant. There are no bad scenes. That's two for two on Gene's scale.
You'll also enjoy the work of Cloris Leachman in "Spanglish." Leachman is a graduate of the Des Moines Playhouse, and the purported former paramour of WHO broadcaster Jim Zabel. She took the cliched, crazy granny role here, and raised it to new heights.
(Break to watch Sandler on Letterman)
He has the remarkable ability to endear himself to the audience. He sings a song by the late, beloved Warren Zevon. He talks about his modest upbringing, and implies great affection for his deceased father. A Mayor McCheese joke? It's vintage Sandler. Everyone relates, and he's made himself completely vulnerable before the audience in the tradition of Jolson, Garland, and Sammy Davis Jr. Adam Sandler needs your love. When the vulnerability is an act, Sandler hits with a thud. When it's authentic, he scores.
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Hats off to the city council of Washington D.C. for denying Major League Baseball a new taxpayer funded ballpark. If the corporate thiefs at MLB wanted to hijack another stadium from the American public, they probably should have moved the Expos to the city that hadn't been burned by baseball twice before. The Commissioner's office is claiming to be shocked and disappointed, but the nay vote was a distinct possibility from the time of the move. The nation's capital has learned a little something from the stadium experiences of Detroit, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh. New stadiums no longer guarantee even short-term profitability for the club or the ballpark neighborhood. The council is only asking for a 50/50 split on the price of construction, and they're going to win the battle. Baseball is running out of options for the orphaned Expos.
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Jim Zabel joke: You can kiss a nun, but don't get in the habit.
Renteria signs with Red Sox
It's official. Edgar Renteria accepted a 4 year $40 million deal today from Boston, saying the Red Sox "were more interested in my playing for them." Orlando Cabrera and Barry Larkin now sit atop the Cardinals' wish list for shortstops.
A Late Show Christmas
Did you catch the decorating of the Late Show Christmas tree Monday night? Joe G from Joe G's Pizza brings the pie, Sirajul and Mujibur bring the miniature Empire State Building, and Rupert Jee brings the meatball to place atop the tree. As Late Show traditions go, I'd put it in the middle of the pack. Here's a handy list of six Late Show holiday traditions that come to mind. From worst to best...
#6- Dave calls the Thanksgiving Butterball Turkey Hotline.
#5- This tradition has never been acknowledged, but the day after Thanksgiving, Dave starts the monologue with a joke of this nature: I went shopping this morning. It was a madhouse. I was shoved. I was harassed. I was fondled. (pause) Hell, I'm going back tomorrow.
#4- Decorating the tree.
#3- Dave guesses which pies his mother has baked for Thanksgiving.
#2- The kids trick-or-treating on Halloween.
#1- The annual Christmas show. Paul does his Cher impression, Dave and guest Jay Thomas throw footballs at the items on the top of the tree, and Darlene Love sings "Christmas Baby, Please Come Home." This year, the Christmas show will be Thursday the 23rd. Check it out.
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Tonight, I watched "Mystic River" again on HBO. There are great performances by Oscar winners Sean Penn and Tim Robbins; and Kevin Bacon is equally worthy of mention- lively and assured.
Yet, after a second viewing, I still can't shake the feeling that the movie doesn't play fair. SPOILER WARNING- First, you have two characters set up equally as suspects in the central crime, both through extraordinary coincidences. Then, the resolution comes from left field- the boyfriend's mute brother and his friend, whose motivation for the murder I still can't explain. Director Clint Eastwood and screenwriter Brian Helgeland ("LA Confidential) would have been better off avoiding the mystery aspect of the film completely. We could still enjoy ourselves judging the characters' behavior and watching these talented actors.
The worst offense of the script is the treatment of the female characters. The men are all forgiven their sins due to the horrific nature of the opening sequence. Meanwhile, Marcia Gay Harden's supporting character is put through the ringer. She's lied to by her husband (as is the audience), then widowed by his friend after she goes to him for help. We naturally identify with her throughout the movie because we care about her family and we share her confusion about her husband's alibi, so where does that leave us at the end when she's on the street, alone, crying out for her child. It's pretty vicious treatment.
Laura Linney's character is more confident, but shockingly cold and calculating in the final scenes. If this is the author's alternative to putting the women in the background, I'll take the wallpaper.
It's a little too easy to look at Eastwood's macho film career and conclude that he doesn't understand women, but the evidence in this case is there on the screen. I don't understand them, either, but I can usually recognize them. This time, I don't.
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I hope to post tomorrow night. I got a free pass from work to a sneak preview of "Spanglish," starring Adam Sandler. I'll let you know how it turned out. Also, the Edgar Renteria/Cardinals soap opera continues to drag on. Will he follow the money or his heart? Wednesday may be the day we find out. Stay tuned.
Scars Tell on Alabama
Congratulations to the people of Alabama, who continue their hold-out against the Enlightenment.
In the most ignored news story of the month, a statewide recount last week showed that Alabama narrowly voted to keep language in the state constitution supporting segregation and the poll tax. I guess reasonably educated and compassionate Alabamans can take pride in the fact that the amendment to change failed by only 0.13 percent, and that the language on the books will continue unenforced for the indefinite future.
Also, congratulations to the state's Republican Party, who convinced voters that removing the language could lead to huge, court-ordered tax hikes for public schools. Genius! It's got to be getting hard to come up with new excuses to hold off those uppity Negroes.
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In lighter "pandering" news, Ron Santo and the Cubs continue their effort to get the former thirdbaseman into the Hall of Fame. Santo played the diabetes card for all it was worth during the voting process two years ago, going so far as to say induction was all he had left to live for. Now, Santo has also been nominated for the Ford Frick Award for broadcasters. This is preposterous. He's only been broadcasting for 15 years! (Joe Buck's been doing it for 14, and he's still not old enough to be President.) Today, Santo even became a finalist for the award, thanks to Major League Baseball's stupid decision to let fans participate in the voting. The Cubs only hired him to help him get into the Hall, and now this bumbling, no-talent chucklehead stands in the doorway of immortality.
If you're voting in either the player or broadcaster category, let me offer some alternatives. As a thirdbaseman, KEN BOYER had a career batting average ten points higher than Santo's. Unlike Santo, he achieved a 100 RBI season (two, actually), won an MVP, and played in a World Series- hitting a grand slam in the '64 Classic for good measure.
As for the broadcasters, consider finalist Dizzy Dean, who introduced a generation of fans to baseball on America's first Game of the Week television broadcast. And next time around, you could vote for Mike Shannon- the most colorful character on baseball's best local radio broadcast for the last 32 years. He was in the booth for four pennant winners, and he called Mark McGwire's 61st and 62nd home runs in 1998.
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I will be proud of the title on today's blog until I'm a very old man.
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Yes, that was
our "Sideways" that walked off with the L.A. Film Critics Best Picture Award, and a leading seven Golden Globe nominations over the weekend. Actors Paul Giamatti, Virginia Madsen, and Thomas Haden Church all got nods for the Globes, along with director Alexander Payne, the script by Payne and Jim Taylor, Rolfe Kent's score, and the movie for Best Picture. We're going all the way this year, baby! And if we get Oscar's Best Picture, it will be the first winner that deserved it since "The Godfather, Part II" in 1974.
RUN, don't walk, to see this movie!
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I had cause to search on-line for a
Seinfeld script this afternoon. You can find any and all at
www.stanthecaddy.com
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We had the big family holiday yesterday, two weeks early, due to the folks traveling over Christmas. Great food, fellowship, and gifts. It was truly one of the best Jesus/Sinatra birthday parties ever. Jesus would be 2004 on the 25th. Sinatra, 89, yesterday.
Edgar's Big Day
The Cardinals will learn today whether or not Edgar Renteria has accepted a contract offer from the Boston Red Sox, a franchise that graduated this year from "cursed" to "merely terrible" with their first championship in 86 years. At this point, the shortstop would have to accept a considerably smaller sum of money to remain a Cardinal.
Regardless of whether or not he re-signs, his decision should set off a flurry of activity by the club. The Cards have reportedly been pursuing two different signing scenarios that hinge on Renteria's return.
Edgar should be forewarned, however. History tells us that leaving the Cardinals when the team still wants you back has produced some dubious results. By my count, there are still only four top-tier free agents who have spurned the Cardinals on the free agent market...
Bruce Sutter to Atlanta in 1985,
Jack Clark to the Yankees in 1988,
Vince Coleman to the Mets in 1991, and
Andy Benes to Arizona in 1998, after his agent missed the signing deadline.
It was the worst professional decision these players ever made.
Bernie's Bits
There's some delicious new info in Bernie Miklasz's sports column to be published in tomorrow's St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
1) Oakland pitcher Tim Hudson tells an ESPN.com writer that he's dreamed of pitching in St. Louis. The writer in question claims he was watching a playoff game at Hudson's house this October when the Georgia native jumped from his chair and announced that he'd love to pitch for the Cardinals. He apparently would even sign for less money to pitch in the Gateway City when he becomes a free agent.
2) The Card's own Joe Buck, star of baseball and football's biggest games, will guest-host the Late Late Show on CBS this coming Wednesday and Thursday night.
3) KMOX Radio in St. Louis will be airing a two hour special at 7pm Thursday entitled "From Our Town to Cooperstown," starring Cardinals' Hall of Famers and other worthy dignitaries such as Whitey Herzog. The show, hosted by Mike Shannon, will kick off the
Baseball As America exhibit opening at the Missouri History Museum December 19th. St. Louis was selected as one of 10 cities to host this traveling memorabilia exhibit of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. If you live in the range of KMOX AM 1120 (and in Iowa, at that time of day this time of year, you do,) check it out.
The Last Dance?
The Democratic Party is at a major crossroads, and things will come to a head this weekend. Tomorrow in Orlando, FL, fewer than 450 well-connected Democrats will sit down and begin the process of deciding who becomes the next party chair. Will it be the progressive former Governor of Vermont, Howard Dean, or any one of a group of centrist pols, like former Clinton aide Harold Ickes, who represent fat cat party contributors?
Throughout 2004, people of all political persuasions insisted that the election in November would be the most important of our lifetime, but that ceased to be the case when the Democrats nominated John Kerry, a Bush-lite, skull-and-bones, war hawk who hadn't done anything to show the public his moral fortitude since the early 1970s. Once again, the electorate was forced to choose between two heads of the same political monster. And that's why, once again, voters were split evenly between the two major candidates.
Unlike the fraudulent choice for President, this weekend's meeting in Florida could have major policy implications. For the first time in 30 years, we could begin to see true opposition in this country to the corporate paymasters that have hijacked our political system.
I caucused for Howard Dean in January, and I'm not going to pretend I didn't feel betrayed when he became a bag man for Kerry in the general election, but he does represent what I believe is the last chance for the party of FDR. His policy speech on Wednesday at George Washington University was an impassioned plea for the party to stop accepting corporate bribes in return for political protection. He outlined a vision of new leadership for the party by grass-roots contributors and working men and women. He wants to strip away the influence of a loose coalition of lobbyists and big corporate donors that have a stranglehold on the party. The new coalition would be made up of the 50 million low wage workers and their families, small farm and rural families in America, if only a major political party represented their interests.
Let it be completely understood- the current sorry state of the Democratic Party is the end product of having been led for more than a decade by the centrist Democratic Leadership Council, a committee of mostly southern, Washington insiders, held under the hypnotic sway of Bill and Hillary Clinton's phony populism. What was good politically for the wretched and immoral Clintons was rarely good for working people, and when I use the word
immoral, I'm not talking about the libidinous escapades of William J. under his desk that sets GOP hearts all a flutter. I'm talking about the corporate giveaway of our national assets, the coddling of the Chinese totalitarians who crushed the uprising in Tiananmen Square, and the damage allowed to be inflicted on our most vulnerable communities by predatory businesses- all in exchange for a whopping pile of the mean green.
Harry Truman reminded us a half century ago that, if forced to choose between a Republican and a Republican, the voters will choose the real thing every time, and that's where we are at Christmas, 2004. We were told that John Kerry had the moral authority to be president, and we got a candidate who aped the incumbent. He didn't promise to stop the war in Iraq. In fact, he illegally surrendered his Constitutional authority to sanction it. He never got around to adding a policy statement on corporate crime to the crime page of his campaign website. He "reported for duty" by giving the most Republican-sounding speech in the history of the Democratic Convention, and proposed further cuts in corporate taxes, which have already sunk from 33 percent to 7.8 percent over the last 30 years.
It actually worked. The Democrats succeeded in raising more money than Republicans, right before they got steamrolled on election day. Meanwhile, more than 44 million people left without representation on November 2nd also continue to go without health insurance.
I confess I go back on forth on whether hope for the party is already lost. I thought I was done this summer. Ralph Nader is a perfectly viable alternative. I haven't regretted my vote for him one iota. I know I voted for the smartest, most compassionate, and most honest man in the race. I am now a Democrat in registration only. If Iowa allowed independent voters to participate on caucus night, I would be gone completely. But I'm the type of voter the Democrats should be trying to win back, along with the 40 percent of voters in union household who voted for Bush, the 44 percent of Latinos, and the absolutely astonishing 42 percent of those earning under $30,000 a year. These voters are voting over extemporaneous issues because they can't see any differences between the Democrats and the Republicans. Democrats, why don't you show us some?
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Statistics cited, and other useful information can be found at www.votenader.org
The mother- and sister- of all film noirs
One of the great films of all-time, Roman Polanski's
Chinatown, turns 30 this year. Here's the latest...
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OUR Winter Meeting
Baseball's off-season peaks this week as the winter meetings begin. What's happened so far, and what does it mean? Stop!
I'll tell you.
Let's start with the National League Champions. The Cardinals had some difficult arbitration decisions to make. Re-signing Matt Morris was a good start. At $2.5 million, plus incentives, he accepted a 10 million dollar cut in base pay. That's a steal for the Cardinals, even if he's on the backhill slide. He threw 200 innings and won 15 games last year with a bum shoulder. What could he do healthy? Back to his 22 win form? Why not?
Now, you're bringing back Morris, along with Chris Carpenter, Jason Marquis, and Jeff Suppan. Throw in a fifth front-line starter (dare I say Tim Hudson?) and it's lights out. I don't like the Astros' and Cubs' chances of making up 13 games against that rotation.
Cal Eldred re-signs for one year, significant to those of us in Benton County, Iowa, who love Cal and the Cardinals. Eldred is as fearless as they come, and he won't be asked to do too much, behind other right-handed relievers Jason Isringhausen, Julian Tavarez, and Kiko Calero.
Secondbaseman Tony Womack walked away to the Yankees, but there should be some options available on the market to effectively replace him. The only mistake of the off-season so far is letting reliever Steve Kline walk away. The left-handed bullpen tandem of Kline and Ray King was the toughest in the National League, and Kline hasn't allowed a run at Busch Stadium since 2003. I guess the logic is that only one lefty is necessary, but I better not find out that the decision is fallout from his bird flipping incident in June.
There's crucial work left to be done, to say the least. Re-sign SS Edgar Renteria, nab that front-line starter, and find a 2B/table setter.
In other horsehide developments this week, the Braves said good-bye to J.D. Drew by declining him arbitration. I guess that confirms the Cardinals got the best of that trade last year.
Jeff Kent is heading to the Dodgers. This makes little sense to me for LA. Granted, we don't know what sort of offense will be at Jim Tracy's disposal with Adrian Beltre on the market, but adding Kent to your infield defense detracts from a great strength of the Dodgers. And he doesn't come cheap, either- 17 million over two years. Yikes. I say put him at first base, where he should have been ten years ago, put Shawn Green back in right, and Milton Bradley back in center. That also forces Dodgers fans to yell much louder when they want to get inside Bradley's head. Maybe that's the plan.
The Reds have made a completely senseless move in cutting Barry Larkin. Larkin is 40 years old now, but he's playing for peanuts, and he's not asking for a full-time job. What's the downside? He's been the heart and soul of the team for 19 years, and he's not coasting. He recently learned Spanish to help communicate with Latino teammates. If Edgar walks, I would gladly welcome him to St. Louis on a one- or two- year deal. He can still play most days, and fill the lead-off hitter role. Then LaRussa could bring Royce Clayton to town, and run Larkin into retirement.
A Yankees fan friend of mine (yes, you read that correctly) alerted me to this sticky wicket for the Bombers. They're treating the BALCO scandal as a grand opportunity to clear themselves of Jason Giambi's bloated contract, but how will they justify bringing back Gary Sheffield after they've demonized Giambi and voided his deal? If anything, you could make a stronger ethical case for Giambi's behavior. He came clean in his testimony. Sheffield is employing the Barry Bonds "I was duped" defense.
Sports Illustrated's on-line writer, Pete McEntegart, named Cardinal Larry Walker his Sportsman of the Year last week. The decision stemmed from Walker's suggestion that the Dodgers and Cards shake hands on the field after their playoff series. I say "hear, hear." That moment, along with Jim Edmonds' walk-off NLCS Game 6 blast, is what we'll still remember about the 2004 season years from today.
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Last vacation day of the year gets used tomorrow. TGI Thursday.
A guy goes into a confessional. He says "Father, I'm 80 years old. A gorgeous young blonde just invited me to her apartment. Long story short- we've been having wild sex all day."
The priest says, "Did you come in seeking forgiveness, my son?"
"Actually," the man says, "I'm not Catholic."
"Then why are you telling me this?" the priest asks.
"I'm telling everyone."
The Late Late Night Wars
You may have read today that CBS has named a successor to Craig Kilborn on the Late Late Show. He is Craig Ferguson, a Scottish comedian best known for his role as Drew Carey's boss, Nigel Wick, on the Drew Carey Show. I didn't watch that show very often, and only saw bits and pieces of his audition shows this fall, but he seemed a very good natured bloke, and pretty quick on his feet. He was very relaxed, and that should fit the time slot.
I remember hearing early on that comedienne Amy Sedaris, Letterman's greatest regular guest, was going to be one of the four candidates auditioning on-air for the position, but she never did. That's probably a blessing. I would have been up till one o'clock every night if she got the job. Funny lady. As Larry King would say.
Conan O'Brien's show has become so good that it wouldn't matter who hosts the competition, but the CBS affiliate in Des Moines still stubbornly refuses to air the Late Late Show after Letterman. (I won't even dignify them by giving you their call letters.) Therefore, I still find myself watching part of both Conan and Craig.
So cheers- and congratulations to the new Craig, just in case he's on-line tonight looking for public reaction to his hiring. And if he's like his late night colleague Jay Leno, he probably is.
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Way to go, people. You didn't watch John McEnroe's talk show on CNBC, and now it's getting cancelled. Do I come to
your house and crap on
your television?
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The national baseball writers have been attacking Barry Bonds so vehemently this week, I almost forgot that three-fourths of them voted him the Most Valuable Player last month. Too bad we didn't know about this BALCO thing in September.
A media wrap-up starring Chris' employer and the figurative noose around CNN's neck
I was going to write today about why I hate weather forecasters on television, but Tom Snyder beat me to it. Check out the retired news anchor and talk show host's flashy website at
www.colortini.com. Retirement has freed Tom of the shackles of objectivity. He's over there just spouting away on the issues of the day, as the JPEG images fly through the air.
Speaking of the shackles of objectivity and spouting, I've been called upon by one of you to comment on the just-announced news partnership between my employer, Clear Channel Radio, and Fox News. By next year, 500 of the 1200 Clear Channel stations will be affiliates of Fox News, which should account for almost all of the news formats in the company.
CEO John Hogan says the local CC news directors will get "a higher quality, national news product," but that would appear to be a rather dubious claim for WHO and many other stations, considering the current partnership is principally with network powerhouse ABC. FOX still has a fledgling radio news presence, while ABC's radio division dominates. When I worked in the newsroom in the late '90s, ABC didn't just represent in the annual Edward R. Murrow Awards, they
swept them-- excellence for newscasts, spot reporting, feature reporting, investigative features, etc. They still set the pace in the industry.
What Hogan really means is that this is good politics. We saw how much Clear Channel was concerned with political grandstanding when they very publicly dropped Howard Stern from their airwaves earlier this year. A move to join forces with the right-wing FOX News organization solidifies political support in both GOP-controlled houses of Congress, the White House, and perhaps even the courts- which will be taking up some very important First Amendment and indecency issues in the coming months.
It goes without saying that FOX News' reputation for right-wing bias will negatively-impact WHO's already damaged reputation with Iowa progressives and political moderates, but our market manager calls that "branding" the product. Besides, WHO programmers have already largely succeeded in alienating half of the state's population. (It's surely more than half in the heavily-targeted immediate four county area.) The unbalanced show schedule has run off all but the true believers.
It's another example of short-term business thinking that's common in the corporate structure. I've even heard it said explicitly in meetings: WHO does not focus on attracting new listeners. That's something that can't be done without spending money. Instead, we attempt to coax the listeners we still have to listen longer. The pool gradually shrinks.
I admit I don't know much about business, but when you're faced with new, significant competition, as broadcast radio is- from several new technologies, shouldn't you be doing everything you can to broaden your appeal? And the initial public perception of this partnership is terrible. It's good for FOX, bad for Clear Channel. That's why the stock dropped 8 cents the day the move was announced.
Alas, I'm sure they know better than me if it will be good for business. Just keep
their business priorities on
your mind when you turn on the radio looking for objective news.
P.S. - If you have a car with a shiny new, factory-installed satellite radio, disregard.
There was more bizarre television from Larry King last night. Due to what was surely some sort of corporate synergy, the rock band Motley Crue was announcing the beginning of its reunion tour on King's show. The band members appeared via satellite from their first gig in LA, and Larry attempted to interview all four with two sets of headphones and one or two microphones. At one point, Larry asked Mick Mars if the other bandmembers resented the growing celebrity of drummer Tommy Lee. At the point he asked it, Lee was holding the mic and had to relay the question to Mars. Lee simply said, "That's a stupid question, Larry." Larry then asked Vince Neil if the band had ever opened for Carol Channing. I made that part up.
A Very Moeller Christmas arrives on the 12th so I must now wrap presents.
Moeller TV listings
The Charlie Brown Christmas special makes its annual appearance tonight on ABC at 7pm central. I find it's always worth watching. The rest of Christmas is run by some eastern syndicate.
Bill Zwecker reports in today's Chicago Sun-Times that the Sopranos TV series may survive for another season. A seventh may be in the works, according to star James Gandolfini. "Nothing is definite about ending (the series), with (series creator) David (Chase), you never know," said Gandolfini at the American Museum of the Moving Image in New York over the weekend. The star also says the sixth season won't begin filming until May due to big-screen film commitments both for him and co-star Edie Falco.
Carnivale!!!
HBO fans rejoice! One of the network's top original programs, Carnivale, returns January 9th. I was starting to think I was wasting my money.
Monday News and Notes
It's become evident that Mark McGwire is going to become guilty by reputation because of the crimes of Barry Bonds. The two sluggers are being lumped together, not by criminal intent, but by their monstrous talent. Because they have each broken the home run record, they are perceived as part of the same criminal conspiracy. Yet their "crimes" could not stand in starker contrast. Barry Bonds has been named in the federal indictment of his personal trainer, who has admitted giving steroids to clients. Bonds may also be found guilty of perjury. McGwire used a legal supplement in his workouts- a product legal in baseball and America at large.
In 1998, Androstenedione could be purchased by any freedom-loving American in their local mall. The media and the public knew McGwire was using it, and they didn't care. Why is Washington Post columnist Michael Wilbon now advocating an asterisk by McGwire's records when he wasn't in 1998? What has changed since then?
Other than Bonds' completely-unrelated behavior, I have come up with only three significant developments since '98, none of which serve to indict McGwire.
Number one, McGwire's slugging competitor, Sammy Sosa, was discovered to be a fraud, both personally and professionally, which I contended he was from the very beginning. Michael Wilbon, a Chicago native, isn't advocating an asterisk for Sosa, even though we know Sammy Sequel corked his bat. Six years ago, Sosa was considered a hero and an icon. Today, he's tradebait, a man accused by teammates of quitting on his team, and a convicted cheater. I knew at the time Sosa was detracting more from the home run race than he was adding to it, but the public was coming to see McGwire and Sosa as partners in the same human drama. Now, Sosa sullies Big Mac by association with his increasingly-bizarre behavior.
Number two development- McGwire fathered two children. So much for the thought that Andro hinders fertility. I'm not qualified to say the supplement can't be harmful, but so can chewing tobacco. Kerry Wood, Moises Alou, and many others soak that in their jaw all game long. It's completely beside the larger point, but it's worth considering the notion that, one day, science will perfect a steroid with no negative side effects. At that point, we'll have one hell of an ethical dilemma in the sports world. Or the problem will be solved.
The third important development- the one pundits frequently cite- is that the sale of Andro has now been banned. This is insignificant. For one reason, it was banned by an act of Congress. Not by doctors, pharmacists, or scientists. By politicians. Politicians who seek maximum media coverage for their exploits. Forget that McGwire did nothing illegal and broke no rules. If Senator Blowhard wants to score headlines in his home state or prep a run for president, Big Mac goes to the gallows.
Mark McGwire is now in the position of having to prove his innocence. We demanded that he give his all to the game in exchange for his large paychecks. He did that- and much more- by any reasonable evaluation. He handled himself with grace, mental strength, and with an historic display of sportsmanship. His numbers should stand without contempt or suspicion until someone presents evidence that he broke the rules. The public understands this inherently. That's why the only people who propose asterisks are pompous members of the media and friends who want to get a rise out of me.
Ban the substance. Change the current rules. That's fine. Better than fine. But keep in mind- they didn't toss out the records of the turn-of-the-century pitchers after they banned the spitball. They didn't erase the records of the 1960s when it was revealed to the public that many of the players were popping amphetamines.
In 2008, the Hall-of-Fame will come calling and Mac will be back. It's time to get off that back.
Sunday News and Notes
New Monthly Feature-
Chris reviews the new issue of Esquire
The January issue cannot be judged fairly because they refused to print the blurb that I e-mailed them. I was taking advantage of their invitation to submit a sentence or two about "What I've Learned" from my life. I submitted several, but the best one was "That swinging kitchen door in Threes Company was an accident waiting to happen." Alas, they choose 50 others, including the chestnut "Naps, naps, naps, naps." from Mike Legeros, 39, in Raleigh.
In other Esquire news, film and TV critic Mike D'Angelo profiles The Life Aquatic, and continues to be a suitable substitute for the legendary Tom Carson. I look forward to that new Wes Anderson film. Chuck Klosterman has his finger on the country's pulse again with an article about why American's so often feel "betrayed" by their own popular culture. The gorgeous Maya Rudolph of Saturday Night Live offers this month's 10 Things You Didn't Know About Women, and Cal Fussman's interview with George Clooney makes me like the actor more than ever. He's thoughtful, progressive, and quite down to earth. That being said, I don't mind if he continues to channel Sinatra's "cool" in his Ocean's 11 series; but his "pack" needs to stop dissing the original. Be grateful for the chance to stomp on hallowed ground.
New Daily Feature -
Dumb questions Chris heard Larry King ask on CNN, even though he only watched the show for 5 minutes.
During Saturday night's interview with Donald Trump:
"Were did the phrase ("You're fired") come from?"
"Do you enjoy saying it?"
He then instructed Trump to say it to him, and Trump obliged.
Alexander Payne essay
In the late 1990's, college was done and Des Moines was new. I was working only weekends and part-time, so I had lots of afternoons to spend at the movie theaters. I was hitting the video stores hard, and I was busy wrapping my youthful opinions around the world of cinema.
One afternoon at the theater, I was bowled over by a picture called 'Election.' As we all should know by now, this is a razor-edged satire about politics, ambition, and middle-aged despair. The Carmike Theatre was playing it because it was the new teen comedy of the week, and I went because Matthew Broderick was cast as the teacher, and I sensed, like many others did, that this would be a parody of his youthful turn as Ferris Bueller.
What I found was a film that had some of John Hughes whimsy, and just a touch of his sweetness, but also a very sinister perspective of human nature. The film was tightly and shrewdly-constructed, brimming with droll, comic flourishes, populated by perfectly-cast character actors, and damn near perfect.
At Iowa State University, I had been recently educated in the notion of auterism, or the notion of a director putting his or her personal style at the forefront of a film. Movies are, ultimately, the medium of the director, and thus, I went to find other work by the director of 'Election," Alexander Payne.
It turns out this was only the second film for the UCLA film school graduate, and the only other title on his resume was one I had seen in the video store, but had never rented. It was 'Citizen Ruth,' a story about a pregnant woman, played by Laura Dern, who's pulled by legal circumstances into the political battle over abortion. The similarities to 'Election' were striking. None of the principle characters were spared the comic skewering of Payne and his screenwriting collaborator, Jim Taylor. Both sides of the political debate are wholly presented as emotionally-cleavaged from Ruth's personal plight, and Ruth, herself, is perhaps the least sentimental character of the whole lot. She's a chronic "huffer' who consistently chooses the inhalation of paint cans and brake fluid over her health and the health of her baby.
Esquire film critic Tom Carson, a personal favorite of mine, named Payne the "Next Scorcese" in 1999. And though Carson felt the director went soft and sentimental in his next picture, 'About Schmidt,' I was firmly on board in 2002 when New Line released that third Payne feature, a vehicle for one of Hollywood's biggest stars, Jack Nicholson.
'About Schmidt's' opening night in Des Moines helped to truly cement my sense of loyalty towards Payne's vision. The character Schmidt was Warren Schmidt, an insurance man in Omaha facing the rest of his life at the onset of retirement. In addition to being Payne's third film, it was also his third film set, and filmed on location, in Omaha- Payne's hometown, and a city located just 2 hours west of Des Moines.
The subject matter of 'Schmidt' brought a more seasoned audience to the theater than did 'Election.' That was evident as the movie began, and I looked across the sea of bald heads and white hair ahead of me. The opening shots in the film were of downtown Omaha on a dreary winter day, but it could have been easily been Des Moines. The audience laughed appreciatively when the young character replacing Schmidt at the insurance office announced that he'd just moved with his young family from Des Moines. The audience howled several scenes later when the same character announced that "A business degree from Drake ought to be worth something."
It was at this moment that I realized the power and immediacy of regional film. When the action is taking place in your backyard, you are more easily transported to the screen. This is the reason, I realized, that you hear these New York actors blather on and on about their city and it's film society. Films contain a portion of our shared cultural identity, and audiences in these "selected" cities can perceive things in radically-different ways. My brother once relayed an insightful anecdote from his college film professor. This person had seen the film 'Fargo' in both California and Iowa. There's a line spoken by Frances MacDormand's character very late in the picture when she's driving one of the kidnappers back to town in her squad car. They're traveling through a snow storm, and she asks the criminal why he did what he did, "and all for a little bit of money," are her words. The man behind the wire sits silently. Her last words are "...and it's a beautiful day." Apparently, audiences in California thought that was funny. And maybe it was meant to be, but the audience in Iowa, and the one I saw the movie with, sat quiet and thought about what McDormand meant.
A criticism of Payne, and a common one of his closely-related film ancestor Billy Wilder, is that they condescend towards their characters. Satire is a delicate genre in which to make an artistic living, and Payne is especially vulnerable to attack because his subjects have frequently been red state dwellers . But, speaking as a Midwesterner, I find the characterizations to be quite penetrating and always refreshing. The nobility and best intentions of Kevin Costner's character in 'Field of Dreams' would be welcome representation for any one state, but if New York City is a broad enough landscape to support a Scorcese, Woody Allen, and Spike Lee, then Flyover Country should be able to house a handful of cynics.
David Lynch gave it the ole' Midwestern effort in 'The Straight Story,' but was ill-prepared to tackle our level of honest communication. He was bailed out, fortunately, by his casting of Richard Farnsworth, who gave one of the most subtle, heartbreaking performances in a generation of film.
I think Dern, Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Nicholson, and all the others have been up to Payne's challenge. I knew those characters in 'Citizen Ruth' because some of them are in my family. I went to that modern suburban high school in 'Election.' And I definitely know Warren Schmidt and his wife. Many of them were in that theater the night I met them.
During the two years of waiting for Payne's fourth film, 'Sideways,' I frequently tracked its status on imdb.com, the Internet Movie Database. I read the comments from early screenings. I watched the trailer months before it opened. It was the closest examination of a film work in progress that I had ever experienced.
But let's face it. Alexander Payne does not inspire a cult following like Quentin Tarantino or Kevin Smith. The people my age who want to be part of a film "movement" are drawn to the exciting and exuberant styles of these other directors. Payne's approach is more measured, and less consistent from a marketing standpoint. I know very few people who are familiar with both 'Election' and 'About Schmidt.' Many Reese Witherspoon fans were probably put off by the weathered face of Jack Nicholson on the 'Schmidt' DVD case, or maybe you're a long-time fan of Nicholson and you can't get excited about a high school movie. Nevertheless, there's at least one obsessive fan out here in the hinterland, and I've done enough sharp-eyed viewing of the films to warrant inclusion in any Alexander Payne cult. For example, in 'About Schmidt,' notice that the movie 'Sideways' is already playing in the local theater when Schmidt visits his hometown. Howard Hesseman's character is married to an Asian woman named Sandra, which is the name of Payne's real-life wife, Korean-American actress Sandra Oh, who co-stars in 'Sideways.'
When the new film opened, I was ready. Des Moines wasn't. Two full weeks after 'Sideways' was released in New York and the reviews had begun appearing, the movie had still not arrived in Iowa. On a cold Friday night, my friend Rob- my Jim Taylor- joined me on a two hour drive to watch the film at Omaha's old Dundee Theater. I think it was the first time in my life I had driven to Omaha, and not through Omaha. Time did not afford extensive movie sightseeing, but Warren Schmidt's Modern Woodmen Insurance Building is in plain sight in the Omaha skyline. Plans for a full day sight-seeing trip back to Nebraska are in the works.
Long story short, you'll find 'Sideways,' along with 'Election,' on my list of the 50 greatest films of all time. Payne leaves Nebraska in this latest venture, with most of the action taking place in Central California's wine country. With this move, he has also widened his scope of storytelling. The four central characters of 'Sideways' are complex and endearing. He's cast four principals who live comfortably in their characters. For the fourth time in four tries, he's succeeded in his intent. He's found an engaging human story, selected the proper pitch, then strode confidently through- with a deft touch, some heavy banging on the keys, and a few surprises.
When this year's Oscar nominations are announced, Alexander Payne may well become a household name. He's the Billy Wilder of our generation, and I thought he'd be a fitting first essay for this website. He's helped inspire me to get busy and put some my thoughts out into the world. He would surely agree- a journalism degree from Iowa State ought to be worth something. - C.M.
The first posting
Let's see if this works. Thanks to Rob Semelroth for his early work on getting this started, and Kem Saichaie for directing me to this site. It's amazing.
