A People's History of TV Fest X, Part I
For a recap of Saturday's Moeller TV Festival, I will only say that I have a new favorite in my memory. Like fine wines and beautiful women, TV Fest gets better with age. And like politicians, whores, and ugly buildings, it gets more respectable as well. This time
thirteen good friends participated in the weekend proceedings, according to my best accounting, plus Maggie the Dog, who was only locked away in the back bedroom most of the time because of all the dirty parts.
Fortunately for those who couldn't be there, we have a written record of the event in the form of anonymous guest comments stuffed in the newly- and beautifully-decorated comment box. Here are just a few of them, presented lovingly, completely free of context, but vaguely chronological. As they are, again,
anonymous, I could play no favorites in selecting them here. As I drank too much, I also cannot remember who 'fessed to which ones. They appear below entirely unedited. Any spelling, punctuation, capitalization, or factual errors are yours, not mine. And here they are..
This episode comes from Chris' one-of-a-kind bootleg collection.
pantyhose with open toed shoes????
the roofies make it tingly
Special thanks to David and Tim for coming from out of state to TV Fest 10!
I miss my trench coat days... and so does Jim. When I worked at KMRY Radio, I set my pantyhose on fire with my space heater in February
Did they say his full name is Herbadore?
We interrupt this tv fest for a quick announcement... Amy Winehouse is dead. You may return to your already scheduled programs.
if someone starts another TV fest, I will take them out.... Cobra Kai style.
Thanks to Jamie for coming from out of state-- and for proving how far he came by coming late.
I will not talk during the TV Festival.
I will not talk during the TV Festival.
I will not talk during the TV Festival.
I will not talk during the TV Festival.
I will not talk during the TV Festival.
I'm Troy McClure... You may remember me from such tv festivals as tv fest 3 and tv fest 7.
Aaron, you shouldn't laugh at the old man, young pretty wife jokes... that's you
Cellphones... vibrate. Geesh Danyell!!
Nipples at the TV Fest!!
Hot lips needs a bra.
Jello Puddin Pops in the freezer?!? Score!! :)
I love Aaron Moeller
I was going to Ask if this was Pre or Post Radar, but watching the opening credits my Question was answered. Post-Radar
It's about time those 4077 jokesters learned a lesson.
Aaron's worried about his Lube job
Is Maggie ok?
Yeah, Maggie is fine. I think she just needs to go out soon.
That's a BIG curtain. These jokes make no sense. I think Chris' demonstrative laughter & gestures constitute comments. They have a tropical theme too. I thought that WAS David Letterman. Isn't he the host? David Letterman is a jerk. Johnny should talk more. David Letterman was ugly even when he was younger.
Are we watching this episode because April is National Tooth Decay month? Is that why Johnny is doing this Dentist bit? Also, do we need to pace ourselves on the comments. I noticed Chris busted into another pack of note cards.
Johnny said Moeller
Aaron and Alex have a Polaroid television. If we shake it, will the jokes get funnier?
According to IMDB, David Letterman is still alive and still has his own show.
Secrets don't make friends, Aaron Moeller
Isn't it great that the commercials are edited out?
I bet they would let Leno drop off a fruit basket.
Moellers, may I call you Moellers? I can't criticize this tv Festival which has a long honorable tradition dating back to years well before my time...
I think there should be a time limit to comment explanations... maybe next TV Fest since I'll be a Moeller...
My dentist tells me my teeth are almost as cute as I am.
Do we need more pineapple?
Now THIS is actual television.
I wasted this card because I am a rebel!
Remember "That '80s Show"?
This is an accurate depiction of the 1970's except no one has a MASH BJ Honeycutt mustache.
I went to H.S. with Christine Moore. She was the second "Eric's sister" after the first one got fired. In October, I have my 20th H.S. reunion, I can ask Christine to come to TV Fest 10.5 as the Guest Speaker if you'd like.
Community is the best comedy on right now. He said. Fully erect.
Who would have thought Fletch would be such a dick. be the ball danny... nanananana.
this festival is NOT full of uggos. Who has drug cigarettes?
What if the theme at TV Fest Ten Part 2 was "sluts"?
I've only seen this show like 3 times & I've seen this one
Where is Alex?
Growing up we had a couch that looked like Doc's sport coat.
david letterman is a lost Moeller.
Best Carson Shows EVER!!!
eye miss Alex
When I was 31, I quit corporate America. I went to Cedar Rapids and no one gave a shit. Just an average girl with exceptional hair. Chapter 2: TV Fest 10.5.
Kenny Powers reminds me of Pete Rose. The actor throws like a girl but at least he has Moeller hair.
Show of hands please- Raise your hand if you have a dream catcher in your car.
I was worried this would be over the top, but after that episode I think I'm safe. Driving over today I heard a guy broadcasting from a car dealer. He said it's too Hot out, I'm sweating Like a cucumber in a women's prison. True story.
Why does everyone fold these cards? It's not secret.
I've seen every single episode of every season of this & I've seen this one.
for the record... dollywood Rulez!!!
(read this last) Who can do TV Fest Ten Part 2 the first weekend in December?
The News of the World
Rick Santorum is finally breaking his silence on the Google-bombing of his surname years ago by author, sex columnist, and gay-rights activist Dan Savage. He's doing so now to try to
raise some much-needed presidential campaign cash.
From the campaign letter linked above:
"I took the high road for nearly a decade by not dignifying these mindless attacks, then even defending his 1st Amendment right to spew this filth. And to this day, liberals like Rachel Maddow serve as Savage's lackeys on national television, pushing his smut.
Yes, he may have the right to belittle and degrade us, but that doesn't mean we have to sit by and not fight back. That is why I need your support today, and your contribution of $25, $50, $100 or $250 to my campaign will help us do just that!"I
love this story. If you're late to it, Savage targeted the then-U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania in 2003 for his anti-gay hate speech in office. The wildly-successful "Google-bombing" involved attaching the word "santorum" to this definition: "san-TOR-um (n)-- 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."
Eight years after the fact, Savage's Spreadingsantorum.com is
still the #1 weblink according to that dominant search engine on a check for the word "santorum." It comes in ahead of even the politician's Wikipedia page and his campaign website. I urge you to click on it today, and help to keep it on top.
Savage said, upon Santorum's announcement for the U.S. Presidency several months ago (and isn't that an amazing concept in and of itself), that he won't relent in his publicity campaign against
capital-S-Santorum until the former senator makes a $5 million personal donation to the gay-marriage advocacy group Freedom to Marry. He says that if it were up to Santorum and his supporters, Savage and his husband would have never been able to adopt their son. So consider that when you read Santorum's fundraising claims that Savage started this feud.
---
It was a damaging distraction from the important "Hackgate" story, but I have to admit that that's a pretty wild video of Rupert Murdoch's granddaughter jumping up to protect him from a shaving cream pie during his "Junior Soprano" court performance Tuesday...
What was that?..That's his wife?!... No, that can't be right... But he's so old... No, I'm not writing that. I'm pretty sure that's wrong.---
On the lighter side, Robert Baer, the CIA agent that George Clooney portrayed in the movie "Syriana,"
is predicting that Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu will attempt to bomb Iran by September, before the U.N. vote on Palestinian statehood.
The singer describes his art
As part of an ongoing feature in which
the writers at AV Club are invited by their editor to answer questions about their personal entertainment tastes, the participants were asked this week to share their “go-to” karaoke songs. It’s an interesting read if you’re in “the life” like I am. (Many of them are not.) It’s a terribly interesting concept. There are favorite songs in life that are not necessarily favorite songs to sing. Some don’t fit. Some aren’t in your vocal range or are too difficult to sing. The Club critic who suggested that karaoke is more of a theatrical performance than a vocal one is absolutely correct. I couldn’t help but want to contribute an outline of my own experience, albeit with more than just one paragraph of text. There are rumors to the effect that there will be a post-Moeller TV Fest karaoke opportunity in Cedar Rapids Saturday night, and the timing seems right then to broach the topic.
For years, I have been a Sinatra guy on stage, first and foremost. In fact, I did FS tunes almost exclusively for a long while. The Chairman is a baritone, like me, and it’s my opinion that those American standards that comprise the Sinatra songbook are the most elastic, versatile tunes there are. They’re not overly-produced, and the Sinatra songbook can also double as the Ella Fitzgerald songbook, and the Tony Bennett songbook, and the Steve Lawrence songbook, and the Michael Buble songbook, and on and on. The standards have already been recorded in dozens of distinguishable styles so when you’ve become a little familiar with many of them, it’s easy to “borrow” some affectations of each during such a “performance of persona.” By and large, mine is a Sinatra tribute act though. I perform to the arrangements of Sinatra collaborators Nelson Riddle, Billy May, Don Costa, and Count Basie. It’s at least one full part impersonation, and when the mouth mannerisms are on during a given evening, I would refer to it as a sort of “bizarro-Superman” rendition, eerily similar to Frank Jr.’s contribution to “My Kind of Town” on the “Duets II” album when FS the Younger delivered all of the hereditary vocal similarities of his pop but less of the polish and with less of that old “lots of bourbon under the bridge” sort of quality. I have ingrained at least a dozen Sinatra versions of an old chestnut like, say, “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” so when I’m “ring-a-ding-dinging” my way through one, swinging it up there with those stars, I can bounce it and wail it a little differently each time. That's what jazzbos like me do.
When you attempt a Sinatra tune, though, and especially when you watch others attempt, you notice quickly how potentially hazardous it can be-- how susceptible the interpretations are-- to degradation into a harsh and dismal “lounge lizard” routine. The pitfalls I’m describing were made famous for all to see by Bill Murray with his “Nick” character on "Saturday Night Live" during the late ‘70s. Fortunately, this has never been a big stumbling block for me. To avoid this, you have to know the Sinatra recordings frontwards and back, and you have to never stop channeling the “From Here to Eternity”-to-Sands Hotel decade of the mid-‘50s to mid-‘60s, when FS was riding a Basie wave and had a Freddie Green rhythm section stampeding up from behind him. You’ll drown if you swim in the still-water pacings of the geriatric/arena concert tours of the '80s and '90s.
It’s a delicate thing to pull off, but you can’t argue with the results. I was once quietly informed that a friend of a friend had been performing Sinatra songs almost exclusively also, then stopped entirely after hearing me drop “Luck Be a Lady” and “One For My Baby” back-to-back one summer evening at a local watering hole. (Why would I make that up?) Years ago, before an office holiday party, my boss came to me nervous that nobody would participate in his scheduled karaoke proceedings for the evening. I agreed to kick off the entertainment portion of the festivities, but provided only that I be allowed to open, not with a song, but with a
set. I did the first four tunes in the machine that night. It was the same night I began a lifetime practice of incorporating the Sinatra style of always crediting the songwriters and arrangers with each delivery.
Cole Porter, Rodgers & Hart, Hoagy Carmichael, Kander & Ebb—it’s important that the young people know who these cats were.
In recent years, I’ve been branching out into newer music, and by newer music, I mean only 30 to 40 years old. The natural evolution for me was into that genre of silky R&B. We know from Sinatra’s last album of new songs in 1984 (the Quincy Jones-produced “L.A. is My Lady”) that FS was moving in this direction also. As Sean “Puffy” Combs has often pointed out in interviews, Sinatra was a significant figure in creating the concept of “urban” music in the United States. He would certainly never abandon the brass instruments that mark the jazz-tinged cul-de-sac of the pop music world, and he would never say goodbye to music that makes the ladies swoon. The new go-to guys for me became Luther Vandross and especially James Ingram, a soulful baritone popular in the early and mid-‘80s who, thankfully for me, is now greatly forgotten. He laid claim to a couple enduring tunes that nobody else out there is now singing, and I never have to worry about somebody jumping up from table six and urinating on my showstoppers.
I thoroughly enjoy dueting with Aaron, the twin, who goes out singing 10 evenings for every one time that I do. We had an immediate hit recently performing a Hall & Oates tune, one that begged for future “Rock and Soul” offerings. As the “Oates” of the pairing, I simply play air guitar and join in on the refrains. It’s a winning act. Aaron’s a big, big talent in his own right. We’ve just seen a small tip of what he’s going to accomplish in this game before he’s finished. He and I could bring the house crashing down with a duet rendition of “Me and My Shadow” (the Sinatra/Sammy Davis Jr.-slightly-racially-insensitive version), but he refuses to commit the time to independently learning the source recording. He’s like a first-round draft choice athletic talent that just has to be willing to put in the work.
Having the audience support what you do is imperative. After all, at the end of the day, we do what we do for the fans, yet unlike many of the AV Club’s amateur crooners, I happen to dread sing-alongs. I’m like Benny Goodman in that way. That giant of swing used to say that when his band played, he didn’t even want to see people up dancing. He wanted them to sit and listen and pay close attention. Listen close. Now we're swingin'.
The Dirty Digger
The most interesting take on Rupert Murdoch and his damaged empire of sleaze comes from his former employee
Roger Ebert. The critic's blog post from Tuesday begins with this paragraph: "Mike Royko called Rupert Murdoch The Alien. He landed on the Chicago Sun-Times like a bug-eyed monster from outer space and extruded poisonous slime. I was an eyewitness." It takes off from there.
I think Murdoch's legacy in the United States is a little different than many people say it is. FOX News is blatantly biased, and frankly abhorrent to me, but he didn't invent what he does. FOX's politically-conservative defenders are correct that the television and print news organizations that came before it in the U.S. have not been objective either. Of course, the major players have rarely been liberal either, as much as they have been "Corporatist Democrat" in many cases. That would be strange if we had a liberal media in this country when we don't even have a major liberal political party for a theoretical liberal media to influence and from which to curry favor.
It's
impossible for a news organization to be "objective." The job of its journalists, instead, is to be fair. You can't deliver a story from "both sides" when there are, in actually, multiple sides to every story, and when the selection of every story is, itself, an editorial decision about what's important and deserves attention. The success of Murdoch's business model owes to the fact that he has successfully exploited that misunderstanding. Of course CNN is not objective. They just claim to be. Their goal is to be perceived as politically "moderate," and in terms of what they consider a "moderate" to be. In fact, they're terminally "moderate." That's their point of view. If Eliot Spitzer's conservative co-host resigns, as she did earlier this year, Spitzer's gotta go too, because CNN can't have a show on the air hosted by a self-proclaimed liberal. They would be intruding on
MSNBC's niche approach at taking on Murdoch's ratings leader.
The main difference between CNN and FOX News, aside from the decibel level, is that FOX News has a larger and more specified segment of the political population that it panders to. They're neither objective nor fair in their presentation of the news, but the utter boldness and audacity of their unfairness, from the beginning, forced the traditional CNN into a defensive posture of doubling-down on their claims of objectivity. Because they don't cop to a point of view, or possess a FOX-like slate of angry on-air personalities, they look toothless in terms of challenging any perceived political authorities, and because their news product actually
doesn't challenge political and corporate authority, and therefore isn't very good, they become the "inoffensive" news alternative popular mostly just with airports and hotel bars.
The minute that FOX News
confessed to being the tool of a right-wing agenda, the house of cards would start to collapse. The Air America Radio Network made that mistake. The venture failed because it
admitted it had a left-wing agenda, and so the establishment political structure and its media competitors didn't have to take it seriously. It could be dismissed as political propaganda. (MSNBC learned from this and that's why it's evening lineup of news opinion programs doesn't promote itself as "liberal" or "progressive," but instead "lean(ing) forward.")
If you listen close, though, Murdoch's operation gives itself away. They advertise themselves famously as "fair and balanced" but they're also there, they say, to be an alternative to a "left-wing" agenda in other media. Well, which is it? Right-wing viewers recognize the proverbial wink and play along with the charade because they like to feel like they're in on a sophisticated plot, and a lot of poor white people, who feel crapped on by life, and who legitimately have no political power, are delusional in believing that if they support the goals of, and become pals with, rich people, those rich people will someday share some of their money with them. It's a method of political exploitation designed to keep rich men rich, and it's been Rupert Murdoch's only professional agenda for almost six decades.
MLB All-Star Game thoughts 2011
--First, thanks to Derek Jeter for choosing not to participate tonight in Phoenix. If he were there, the broadcast on FOX would have been unwatchable.
--Congratulations to Jeter for getting his 3,000th career hit on Saturday. Again, it was his 3,000th, not his 5,000th, but fans were treated to a month of media attention to rival Babe Ruth's 60-home run season
if Ruth were to rise from the grave and hit 60 this year. All perspective has been lost. It's a nice achievement but 27 other players have done made it to 3,000. It's 158 more hits than the Nationals' Ivan Rodriguez has. If "Pudge" Rodriguez lasts long enough to reach this milestone, and incidentally, become the first-ever catcher to do so, don't expect the same fawning by reporters.
I admit I was impressed when Jeter hit 3,000 on his odometer on a day that he also went 5 for 5. Had that ever happened before, I wondered? Turns out Craig Biggio did it, and only four years ago. Funny, I don't remember that feat tipping the world off its axis. Only one of these two games will be the subject of a "remember when" ESPN special with sappy background music three decades from now. Jeter's been a solid player for a decade and a half-- a productive batsman in a hitters park in a hitters league in a hitters era with a buttload of well-paid teammates surrounding him. He's also been possibly the league's dullest superstar and
one of the league's worst shortstops, a natural outfielder playing his career out of position so that his boss can buy more sluggers to roam on the grass behind him and bat behind in the order.
--The Home Run Derby is one of the worst events in sports. The competition has more in common with the strongman hammer game on the midway than with baseball facility and skill. Also, you can't watch it on television because ESPN assigns Chris Berman to do the play-by-play.
--Several All-Star selections begged off their involvement with this year's game. Meanwhile, the best player since Hank Aaron sits at home healthy, and desperate for at-bats. Albert Pujols won the National League's Decade Triple Crown for the 'oughts, the first to win a Decade Triple Crown since Rogers Hornsby in the 1920s. He has never failed to hit .300 for a season, or hit 30 home runs, or drive in 100 runs. He's a top 10 MVP finisher every year of his career, and #1 or #2 seven out of 10 years. Halfway through this season, his average is only .280, with 18 home runs, and 50 RBIs. Eighty-four men were chosen for this year's game--
eighty four-- and Pujols wasn't one of them. Not named by the fans, not named by the manager, not named by the players. Yet the big question everybody's asking? Where is Derek Jeter and his 17 extra-base hits?
--In a heavily-promoted MLB poll this summer, Stan Musial's game-winning, 12th inning home run in 1955 was voted by fans as the greatest All-Star Game moment in history. It was announced as the winner yesterday. While this is a nice little addition to the historic legacy of the Greatest Cardinal of Them All, I don't believe this for a second. I'm not just saying that it's untrue. I'm saying that somehow the voting was rigged. Even Cardinals fans hardly know about this event. In the final round of voting, Stan's homer in '55 beat out Cal Ripken's home run in his final All-Star Game in 2001. Now I'm sure it was better than that. I watched
that game and that was no big deal. But the deserved winner would be the moment that Musial beat out in the first round-- Pete Rose barreling into home plate and taking out catcher Ray Fosse to win the 1970 contest. That was the only time in history that a moment rose (no pun intended) to the level of defining one of the game's "star" players. It was also the
game at its best-- Rose going all out to win an exhibition because-- now you'll have to pardon the cliche-- pride mattered.
Musial got a "make good" from Bud Selig on this somehow because the commissioner screwed the pooch in 1999 when he announced that the annual All-Star Game MVP award would be named after that pathetic John Wayne-impersonator Ted Williams, instead of Musial, who played in more All-Star Games than any player in history (24), and hit more All-Star Game home runs (6) than any of the rest. The voting fans screwed Musial when they left him off the All-Century team in '99, and the commissioner had to add him to the final team roster. Then the even-more elderly Musial got shafted again in 2009 when the Cardinals hosted the All-Star Game, and FOX botched its coverage of the pregame ceremony and President Obama was invited to throw out the first pitch instead of Stan the Man even though the President never hit a single All-Star Game home run in his life. Musial is now 90, and it was announced earlier this year that he's been diagnosed and living with Alzheimer's. Then he wins this contest. I'm a Cardinals and Musial fan, and I can recognize charity when I see it.
--The issue of players blowing off the game this year is overblown. It's mostly Yankees that didn't show-- Jeter, Mariano Rivera, CC Sabathia. They must not think much of their team's postseason chances if they don't care which league has World Series home-field advantage.
--Just a reminder again: You came to the wrong place if you want to hear some criticism of Bud Selig for the whole All-Star Game/World Series home-field thing. I love it. It's the one thing he's gotten right. I'm a National Leaguer to the bone-- and just old enough to remember a time when the league distinctions, the rivalry, and this game had meaning. It's an aesthetically and morally-superior league. For decades, the NL was the more racially-integrated league. It's been remarkably competitive and balanced for over a century, compared with a shameful lack of parity in the other. Even now it's distinct in its standings-- the losingest team in its history (Philadelphia) has been largely the dominant club for the last three seasons. The cities and ballparks are much better-- although the uniqueness of Montreal is missed. You've gotta take the San Francisco Bay over Oakland, Wrigley over Sox Park, Dodger Stadium over the Orange County freeways, Jackie Robinson Field over Steinbrenner Manor. Most importantly, National League teams know enough to only start nine players on each side. They actually possess the ability to count. The entire American League has been guilty of an ongoing five-yard penalty since 1973.
I've posted this a hundred times now, but the argument
against a mere exhibition game determining an important element of the postseason schedule doesn't hold water because the old system was more flawed and nobody ever complained about it. What was the old system for determining which league champion had home-field advantage in the World Series? They alternated every year. Win 110 regular-season games and sweep through the playoffs? Too bad, it's an
odd-numbered year. It can't get more random than that in weighing actual merit. The old system helped win the 1982 World Series for the Cardinals, but it cost them both the '85 and '87 Series.
--The game just ended. Lovely indeed. As I write this, Giants manager Bruce Bochy is high-fiving his victorious NL comrades on their 5-1 victory. There's no doubt which is the most dominant league now. That makes two of these games in a row (42-38 lifetime), and NL teams are winners of three of the last five World Series, even though they only had home-field advantage in one of those series. Congrats again, National League. The other side could have used a little more Derek Jeter, I guess.
Disaster Capitalism
President Obama should—but won’t—channel this famous line from Michael Corleone in "The Godfather, Part II" during budget negotiations in Washington. Remember this one: “You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.”
There should be no compromise on Social Security and Medicare. None. No raise in the age requirement for entitlement benefits. No give whatsoever. Working people have sacrificed enough during this economic fiasco that has destroyed the country they built. They bailed out the “too big to fail” banks and the perpetrators walked off with billions. We’ve sent
our sons and daughters, not the sons and daughters of the rich, to die for corporate investments and profit overseas. According to a retired Pentagon official speaking on NPR, taxpayers are ponying up more than $20 billion annually in Iraq and Afghanistan-- on air conditioning alone! That one line item in the defense budget is bigger than the entire annual budget of the space program. What we’re witnessing is a philosophy in action called “disaster capitalism,” and it was exposed in all of its vulgar detail by Naomi Klein in her 2007 book “The Shock Doctrine,” the most important non-fiction book published in the English language in the new century.
It's a strategy implemented by the oligarchs in Chile, in Argentina, in Indonesia, in Russia, in Poland, in China, in Sri Lanka, in South Africa, and in a myriad of other countries. The global corporatists wreck the national economies with “top-down” strategies of deregulation and the decriminalization of financial “reforms” they know to be bogus-- slashing taxes for the rich, hijacking elections, and suppressing populist dissent. Their promise of increased corporate freedom is more jobs, but the jobs do a vanishing act instead. The economic policies are actually
designed to fail. They’re implemented over the will of the people so that social protections like health care, unemployment insurance, and aid to women and children can be gutted.
Now these policies of the Milton Friedman apostles have come home. They shifted into high gear in the States with the bailout of the Wall Street banks in 2008 and 2009. The looters made off with millions, none of the top bank executives were forced to stand for their crimes, and no new safeguards came into law, allowing innumerable future fleeces to take place. The resulting debt crisis allows the political henchmen to strip us of our necessities.
The “bipartisan” panels being promoted as saviors are full of shit. They're packed with "moderate" politicos vetted by Wall Street. The screaming monkeys of our corporate media are full of shit too. Their proverbial bread is buttered on one side. America’s crisis of debt and economy will not be solved by “compromise.” The rich caused this. The rich—and the rich
only—should fix it. End the tax loopholes. Double or triple the tax rates on $100,000 and more in individual annual income. If the corporate Republicans and Democrats won’t back this, shut the whole thing down. Be willing to take this to the voters in 2012, and see if the plutocrats are willing to do the same. Stand up for Social Security and the public protections that comprise the legacy of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Then watch vote-eligible majorities, for the first time ever, race to the polls.
Alas, as I said earlier, this won’t happen. President Obama already extended the Bush tax cuts without a peep, and now has reportedly offered to raise the eligibility age for Social Security and Medicare benefits during the current negotiations. We need a fighter willing to go toe-to-toe. Instead,
we get this. Obama's role is as a congenial, photogenic puppet to more powerful men running his party and his presidency. Men who, bizarrely, see compromise as not only the means, but the end itself, and don't care at all for what's being weighed in any potential budget compromise. Men who can’t see, or
choose not to see, the larger picture of the corporate destruction of a nation because they’re being simultaneously compensated for their indifference via their personal net worths. They promise us that we'll make it through these hard times just fine, and they're quite right-- if by "us," they mean them.
The first half
Well, we could sit here twiddling our thumbs until Justices Scalia and Thomas disagree on a legal opinion, or I could get on with it already and finally reveal the screening schedule for Moeller TV Festival X-- Part I.
Again, this momentous, decennary event will be held at Aaron and Alex's condo in Cedar Rapids on Saturday, June 23rd (with Part II of course to follow late in the year, under the holiday lights, in Des Moines). If you haven't already, it's not too late to confirm your FREE participation at TV Fest by RSVPing to atmoeller@hotmail.com or christophermmoeller@gmail.com. It starts at noon-ish, food and drink are provided, there's a luau theme, and I haven't forgotten that I promised you a schedule earlier in the post.
'Tis...
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" WKRP in Cincinnati #54 1/3/81
"Mr. Plow" The Simpsons #68 11/19/92
"My Funky Valentine" Modern Family #15 2/10/10
"Bar Wars VII: The Naked Prey" Cheers #264 3/18/93
"April Fools" M*A*S*H #194 3/24/80
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (unknown number) 4/18/86
"Not Without My Daughter" Arrested Development #21 4/25/04
"Prom Night" That '70s Show #19 3/7/99
"Modern Warfare" Community #23 5/6/10
"I Do Do" 30 Rock #80 5/20/10
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (unknown number) 6/27/86
"Episode 5: Beginning a New Audio Book" Eastbound & Down 3/15/09
Oh, Doesn't he ramble
The season two finale of "Treme" poured my soul out tonight. Because of the holiday, I watched the episode an evening late, on-demand, but I realize I'm still way ahead of the curve. None of you have probably seen it yet, yet someday you will, and when you do, I predict that you'll be grateful just to be of an animal species that's capable of creating such an affirming piece of life, depth, and emotion.
No spoilers, but this episode was especially engaging for me because it centered around New Orleans' JazzFest, the purpose of our annual sojourn each spring down the river from Iowa. But like the other NOLA calendar events, the festival is just the backdrop. The show is really about these extraordinary inventions of character, so humanistically presented, from this very real place, that grow more and more appealing with each passing hour. I am amazed at the cast and crew's abilities to create drama without having at least one villainous character in the mix-- except perhaps for George Bush and Dick Cheney, though they're never seen. The entire package represents a new peak elevation for the stage and screen in terms of recreating reality in fiction. I'm not afraid to make that claim. One generation grows from the next. It's equal parts passion, joy, and tragedy, and greater than that, it is as close to an
uncompromised artist's vision as TV has ever supported.
I'm really in no position emotionally right now to try to describe it more to you. What I'm really saying is that you people (you HBO-sponging cheapskates) need to start watching or catch up with this show so that I have somebody to talk to about it! OK, that was wrong of me to call you a name right there, even inside parentheses, and I'm sorry. You've got your own things going, I realize. But this program needs to become a priority right now. Season one (on DVD) will start off slow for you, but don't we say that now about all of the best dramatic series. The first season has a wonderful climax that helps to define the show's grand purpose, and then you can settle in and enjoy season two as it rockets into orbit. ("Treme" has been renewed for a season 3 in 2012.)
You need to understand what HBO is doing here. They are giving one man and his team full autonomy to create something. According to creator David Simon, there is absolutely no interference. And they certainly realize that this show will never be popular. It will never be lucrative for the network. It might even lose money. The network has given Simon this autonomy due to the artistic results of their previous investment in his series "The Wire"-- and that show had shitty ratings also. The honchos at HBO seem to be doing this for the most fucked-up reason that ever existed in art-- they
respect you. It's almost enough to strip a guy of his long-entrenched cynicism.
It wasn't always apparent in season one, but the series is actually about
making art.
And it's about
indifference to art in the sense that New Orleans is a most artistic city that the rest of the United States fails to fully understand and appreciate. Like "The Wire," it's about the importance of our urban life. It reveals the politicians' lies about small-town values being American values. As Simon has pointed out even this week, the war is over-- and the country life lost. Take it from your old pal, Joe Dirt from Newhall, we're not going back. Our future is going to be in how we build and
re-build our cities, about whether we're going to gate ourselves off from our neighbors or share a sense of place. "The Wire" was about studying and explaining the city. "Treme" is about feeling for it. It's a kick. I don't know how you've been spending your Sunday nights for the last three months, but they haven't been more fun than mine. Join me.
Chris glares back at the rockets' red glare
Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. It's an occasion for Americans to take a much-needed break from their constant fretting over the plight of other nations and pay a little tribute to their own. It's also the season for fireworks.
When once asked if he liked motorcycles, George Carlin responded, "I like motorcycle
accidents." That's essentially the way I feel about fireworks. Then there's also the way Mort Sahl said he felt about General William Westmoreland during the Vietnam War, when the Army Chief of Staff would appear on television decorated with all of his medals--Distinguished Service, Bronze Star, et al. "Very impressive!" Sahl said, "If you're twelve."
During the summer, fireworks go off in downtown Des Moines at about 10pm every other Friday night following a ballgame. From where I can live, I can hear them loud and clear, but never see them. This is the equivalent of being a guy who has to take the neighbors' dog out to take a shit. I get all of the inconvenience, none of the perks. When the illicit firecrackers, bottle rockets, and Roman candles, up from Borderfuck, Missouri, start exploding around the neighborhood this time of year, I root openly for user error. Nothing life-threatening, mind you, maybe just some jagged fragmentation cutting through the ankle or shin of the principal attendant. A blown off digit would send a powerful message to others that would try to disturb my time and peace away from work.
Aerial, civic-related fireworks have their advantages, I concede. They mark important home runs and victories by the home team. They make it easy for me to beat the traffic when they're tacked on to the end of more interesting outdoor events. Our ozone layer is probably beyond saving anyway so their damage to our air quality can be mostly ignored after the smoke has blown away. I really just don't need to see any more fireworks displays for the rest of my life. They don't excite me. They're loud, and the rhythm of their explosions is not made more appealing, aesthetically, by coordinating it with the greatest hits of Lee Greenwood. They disrupt the natural world, which for me is plenty colorful and exciting as is. And the displays never change. To my knowledge, there hasn't been any revolutionary new technique or design employed in the pyrotechnic industry for years. They're a modicum of danger combined with almost no feeling of adventure. I can top both by staying at home and putting random household items in the microwave.
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Broken washing machine holiday update: I haven't had to resort to bathtub washing yet. Turns out it's easier so far just to keep buying new clothes. Also, I still haven't invested in a washboard. I got to thinking: Why not save more money and just use my abs? I mean,
am I right, people?---
A Groucho anecdote from Dick Cavett's book "Talk Show" (Disclosure: the earlier Mort Sahl line comes from that book also): Groucho was lunching with the late John Guedel, whose name you've seen as producer on the credits of "You Bet Your Life." A couple approached the table and the man said, "Groucho, we just adore you. Say something insulting to my wife." Groucho looked her over and said to the husband, "With a wife like that you should be able to think of your own insults."
