The hurdles of life
In 1984, I watched the Olympics and rooted for Danny Harris. I was nine years old and thought Harris was the coolest. He was an 18-year-old world class track athlete attending school at Iowa State, and doubling as a safety on the Cyclone football team.
I knew he had qualified for the Olympics, and I knew his bio from the Cyclone football media guide. On a trip to LA prior to the games in '84, I distinctly remember the sense of excitement just seeing a road sign for his hometown of Perris, CA. Harris wound up taking the silver medal in the 400 hurdles, finishing behind only the great Edwin Moses. Three years later, he was the man that snapped Moses' decade long, 122 race winning streak. On the first day of my own auspicious track career, in high school, I was intent on becoming a 400 meter hurdler. It was the coolest event on the track.
Beating Moses was the beginning of the end for Harris' track career. He barely missed qualifying for the Olympics in 1988, then attempted to dull the pain of failure by freebasing cocaine. Testing positive for the drug cost him comeback attempts in '92 and '96.
This morning, a good friend of mine named Ross Peterson, without knowing I had been a big Danny Harris fan, told me about his past friendship with Harris. They had been good friends when Harris was a personal trainer in Des Moines during the '90s. Upon meeting him, Harris explained that he possessed a silver Olympic medal, and had been the man who snapped Edwin Moses' winning streak. Naturally, Ross didn't believe him. By that time, Harris was struggling to stay sober and probably didn't carry himself much like an Olympic champion. They lost touch, and Ross was shocked to find a story about Harris in this morning's paper. It's a vivid
article about Harris' struggle to escape new misfortunes and some persistent demons.
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One of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg, who I just saw in concert 56 days ago, may be dead. My
celebrity death beeper went off this morning, and I went to the website to check the facts. Is it an April Fools gag? As of 9 o'clock tonight (central), his obit has not hit the New York Times, but it has reached the Pioneer-Press in Hedberg's hometown of St. Paul, MN. I'm not optimistic. Faking his death doesn't match his comic style, in my opinion, and the rumors of a drug overdose have a ring of resonance.
"10 Minutes"
"60 Minutes Wednesday" aired a report tonight claiming that four Carolina Panthers football players had steroid prescriptions filled by a South Carolina doctor during the 2003 season, and just prior to the 2004 Super Bowl. The doctor says that he only prescribes steroids for legitimate medical use. "Do I consider healing and repair, and regeneration and recovery, and working at optimal function, a legitimate medical function? Yes." Here's the
story from the CBS website-- basically a transcript of the televised report.
It's now apparent how Dan Rather plans to spend his retirement over at "60 Minutes." He'll be filing 24 minute reports on the status of other retirees, such as former General Electric CEO Jack Welch. Donned in a sweater, Dan joined Welch on the golf course, and grilled him and his second wife on the scandal of their romance and marriage. I should have watched "The Simple Life."
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Baseball Town U.S.A. is crazy for basketball this week as the Final Four hits St. Louis. Here's a thought-provoking
column on the state of college and pro hoops from the local paper.
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And finally, baseball hit king Pete Rose
channeled Frank Sinatra last week during a visit to Las Vegas.
The trial lawyer of the century?
The death of Johnnie Cochran spurs to mind, for some, the lawyer joke that ends with the punch line-- "A good start." Cochran rose to prominence in the American legal system by defending celebrities such as O.J. and Puff Daddy. His flamboyance recalled the nation's premier legal defender of the first half of the 20th century, Clarence Darrow. Like Darrow, Cochran pursued a practice in criminal law defending a mix of political radicals and wealthy murderers. Both types of cases managed to keep his name in the national headlines.
Cochran said the case that meant the most to him was overturning the conviction of the Black Panther Party leader, Elmer "Geronimo" Pratt, who had been convicted of murdering a school teacher in 1972. The reversal came 25 years after the initial verdict.
I think Cochran's greatest contribution to America was focusing the nation's attention on the continuing racial inequality and police procedure. In the Simpson case, of course, but also through his representation of Abner Louima, a Haitian immigrant tortured by police in a New York City station house in 1997.
In 2001, Cochran came to Des Moines when his national law firm represented the family of Charles Lovelady, a bar patron strangled by bouncers at a city nightclub. A jury ultimately rejected Cochran's push for an involuntary manslaughter charge, ruling the death an accident, but the publicity led to the new law that required Des Moines bars and clubs to teach security personnel how to safely mediate disputes. It was the first such law in the country.
Cochran, like any legal defender, was often vilified for his defense of accused criminals. It's to be expected in a world where the court of public opinion rarely holds to the principle of "innocent until proven guilty." He made a legion of enemies because of his defense of Simpson, yet it was Judge Lance Ito's ultimate responsibility to keep that trial focused on the evidence. That circus is Ito's legacy.
You can hate the imperfections of the system, but there's a long legal tradition in the West that it's better for 10 guilty men to go free than for one innocent man to be convicted. A study by the University of Michigan last year based on a comprehensive study of 328 criminal cases over 15 years concluded that there were thousands of innocent people doing time in prison. The same study showed that almost all exonerations took place in murder and rape cases. The difference in these cases: greater public scrutiny. In all areas of government, where the light shines in, there is justice. Like any good attorney, Cochran understood this. He brought a great skill into America's courthouses. He was a credit to a noble profession.
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CENSORSHIP WATCH : Apparently, movie theaters are now withdrawing films before religious bigots even get a chance to protest them. Roger Ebert wrote this
piece yesterday.
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Just when you thought Tom DeLay couldn't get more laughable, it turns out he pulled the plug on his old man 17 years ago.
William Saletan won't call him a hypocrite, but I will.
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This past weekend may have been the greatest in college basketball history. Four extraordinary games were played for a place in the Final Four in St. Louis.
Or so I hear. I'd like to say I saw more than two minutes of the whole action, but I didn't. Turns out my relationship with the NCAA Tournament this year was based solely on money. I'll say nothing more, except that I won't be spending any of my hard-earned money in the state of Oklahoma this year.
Blue and White flight
They've been sobbing for days over at the Des Moines Register over the loss of 60-some Cubs games on the local cable system. First, it was opinion page columnist
John Carlson weighing in on his beloved Cubbies. Yesterday, it was sports columnist
Sean Keeler. For added measure, Thursday's opinion page was enlivened by an ode to the character of former Cub Ron Santo, by a
local man and pusher of overpriced drinks who knows the old thirdbaseman well enough to have collected his autograph at Wrigley Field. The general consensus seems to be that the only option left open to Cubs fans in the face of such a public insult is to leave town.
That's a decision that only they can make for themselves, but may I suggest that any other city in Iowa is going to further expose them to a large number of fans of other baseball teams. Waukegon, IL, on the other hand, is pretty much a one-team town, and--
and a great place to raise a family. Summers there are lovely. It borders Lake Michigan. It's home to the Great Lakes Naval Training Center, and located just miles from a Great America theme park.
For Cubs fans planning to stay in Des Moines, I suggest that you begin considering your increasingly precarious position as a supporter of Central Iowa's most popular baseball team, and give added thought to the reason the Register might have chosen to fix the results of their poll by offering specific and not necessarily mutually-exclusive statements of belief as voting options, rather than simply asking people to name their favorite baseball team.
Cards and Marlins from Jupiter, FL-- Sunday at 11am on Fox Sports Midwest.
The latest steroid scandal
At last. New Orleans Saints head coach Jim Haslett is blowing the lid off the secret of steroids in professional football. Haslett, who starred as a linebacker with the Bills and the Jets from 1979 to 1987, says he used steroids for one year early in his career, and claims the Pittsburgh Steelers Championship teams of the 1970s brought the drugs into vogue in the league.
This story just broke Thursday afternoon, but it will be interesting to see how it plays in the national media. Interesting, because now the exact same thing that happened to Major League Baseball last week should now happen to the NFL.
Look at the similarities-- 1. Haslett claims that a large percentage of the league's players were using steroids in the early '80s. (He says half-- and all of the lineman.) We know Lyle Alzado's death was linked to steroid use, and at least one Steelers player from that era, Steve Courson, has already admitted using steroids. The part-time starter on the Steelers' last Super Bowl winner in 1979 blames a heart condition on steroid use.
2. The league didn't begin testing for steroids for a decade or more-- until 1987, and players weren't suspended for using them until 1989. Random, year-round testing would not be implemented for another year.
3. Haslett claims the pioneering use of the drug by Pittsburgh gave that team a competitive edge in the sport. The team's owner then and now, Dan Rooney, is denying Haslett's accusations, "(Then-coach) Chuck Noll was totally against it. He looked into it, examined it, talked to people. Haslett, maybe it affected his mind."
The NFL isn't dealing with the same issues of testing and penalties that baseball is in the present day-- a few Romanowskis aside. But then again, we know "Romo" was able to beat the league's testing system. He was only exposed through the federal BALCO probe. How many others are beating the system? The same headlines indicting Major League Baseball this year should now begin popping up for the NFL. We have a situation where there are accusations, denials, and unsettling silence. We have the implication of a large number of players doing something that was illegal by law, but not specifically prohibited by the sport. We have a league that was benefitting financially by the players' use of the drugs. Like baseball, the decade of the scandal coincided with the sport's "Golden Era." For football, that was the 1970s. The Juice was loose, indeed.
Are the nation's sportswriters going to begin calling for asterisks in football? We could start by dropping some on the four "Steel Curtain" championships of the 1970s? Are Jack Lambert and Jack Ham going to be dragged out of retirement to face a House committee, and be asked to talk about
their pasts under the guise of Congressional Oversight? Will their busts be removed from the Hall of Fame in Canton? My guess is no to each of the above. Baseball will continue to bear the entire weight of scandal in the American sports world.
You know, one night I dreamed that I was walking along the beach with Baseball. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene, I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one only.
Yadda, yadda, yadda-- I said to Baseball, "I noticed that during the most trying period of my life, there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?"
Baseball replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."
True story.
We can already see the strong case for Mark McGwire's Hall of Fame induction being re-shaped. He becomes eligible in 2007. Like Pete Rose, his accomplishments on the field are undeniably worthy of enshrinement. That reminds me-- these judge and jury baseball writers owe Rose another big apology. For years they told us that the Hall was filled with drunks, wife-beaters, drug addicts, and racists, but that Rose broke the only rule posted in every big league clubhouse. Now many of these writers are telling us there's a second steadfast rule. It's now painfully apparent that the Pete Rose thing was personal the entire time, which I've always claimed it was. Rose was a defiant competitor, which has often brought out the worst in him, but also in his detractors. The press corps has almost instinctually closed ranks against him.
But I digress. The case for McGwire also must include the indictment of current Hall-of-Famer Reggie Jackson in the Oakland steroid scandal. In the FBI files published by the New York Daily News early last week, Jackson was revealed to be the player who brought steroid-pusher Curtis Wenzlaff into the team clubhouse while he was wrapping up his career in the late '80s. Wenzlaff, by everyone's account, was one of- if not Jackson's best friend at the time. No evidence was ever gathered against Jackson, but then no evidence was gathered against McGwire, either. The dealer refused to implicate his friend, but only an idiot would believe that Jackson didn't know Wenzlaff's trade. This is a guy who used Jackson's address to open a checking account, stayed at the slugger's house "on and off" by Jackson's own account, and then, according to Wenzlaff's original FBI interview, met Jose Canseco through Jackson.
Reggie has been passed by three players on the all-time home run list over the last decade and is on record saying he wants the steroid investigation to go "as far as it can go." I agree with him.
We also have at least two admitted cheaters already in the Baseball Hall of Fame. For years, baseball winked as Gaylord Perry and Don Sutton were doctoring baseballs on the mound. They each admitted their malfeasance only after induction. Baseball has allowed spitballers into the Hall of Fame, even after adopting a league policy outlawing the practice, and rightly so. You can't penalize someone for breaking a rule that didn't exist.
By every measure, even with the un-American asumption of McGwire's guilt, there is enormous precedent for his Hall induction. Public tide is already swaying back in his favor. Last night on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period," former Cardinal (but not a former McGwire teammate) Rex Hudler said he was still a huge McGwire fan for his work both on and off the field, and said he couldn't say anything bad about him. Co-hosts Chris Rose and John Salley applauded his statement, and then the entire studio audience joined in the applause.
Cleaning out the cupboard
Here's a random collection of notes and news stories, none of which I can stretch into an extended, coherent idea...
- A talented supporting actor on "Seinfeld" has passed away. Barney Martin, who played Jerry's father, Morty, suffered from cancer, according to
the Hollywood Reporter, and died Monday at the age of 82. Martin, contrary to popular belief, did not sell rain coats for a living, but instead had an impressive list of supporting acting appearances on shows like "Hill Street Blues," "The Golden Girls," and "Murphy Brown." I saw him just last week on DVD as a whino on the pilot episode of "Night Court" from 1983. Martin was
not in the pilot episode of "Seinfeld." He was the second actor to play Morty, joining the show in the second season in "The Pony Remark" episode. He appeared in more than 20 episodes over the life of the show.
- Has anyone notified the mainstream media that Donald Rumsfeld is being sued by the ACLU and Human Rights First for human rights violations in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay?
- Jose Antonio, executive director of the International Society of Sports Nutrition told the Boston Globe last week that the hysteria over steroid use in America reminds him of the film "Reefer Madness." "More people have died of Benadryl and Tylenol overdoses than ever died of anabolic steroids," he said.
- The government reports that 500,000 school-age children have used steroids. Of those, we would need to link steroid use to 100 deaths (not just two) to match the 1 in 5,000 death rate for liposuction surgery. Lipo remains a perfectly legal tool in Americans' battle to achieve the perfectly sculpted body.
- You can throw out all of your speculations about the future of "Arrested Development" on FOX. The network's entertainment president, Gail Berman, is leaving to become a top exec at Paramount Studios. We're back to square one. Enjoy "Arrested" star David Cross' comments at
defamer.com .
- I have high hopes for "The Office" on NBC. It debuts Thursday night at 8:30 central. I haven't watched NBC in prime-time since I caught a "Will and Grace" episode in 2002.
- Jim Edmonds became a Cardinal five years ago today. The principal player who went to Anaheim in the trade, Kent Bottenfield, is a Christian Rock musician today. True story.
- A co-worker of mine used to date a ballplayer who is in training camp with the Cardinals this spring. The relationship ended badly. She and I frequently chat about the player's prospects for making the team, and ultimately getting "legs" under his Major League career. He's getting up in years, and I offered the opinion to her that some guys at his stage of their career will never make it. They have one or two faults in their game, I said, that the league is able to exploit. "Does he
have one or two faults?" I asked. "Yes," she said, "his lying, for one."
Nikko-ville
My advisors have warned me not to write about this topic-- but I love American Idol! Unlike my previous program endorsement ("The Simple Life,") I do not consider it to be a guilty pleasure. The wretched, unintentionally(?) bad performances of the early weeks are not my taste or worth my time, but these musical performers in the finals are not at all the hacks I always assumed they were, (and I know "talent" from "karaoke," because I am both.) Randy Jackson comes through
ev-ree night, dude. Paula Abdul should top any list of the greatest "moms" in television history, and Simon Cowell is one of the mesmorizing TV personalities of the decade. Like every other viewer, I find myself waiting, shamelessly, on his assessments.
I never watched "Idol" -- I call it "Idol" -- until Ozzie Smith Jr., a.k.a. Nikko Smith, arrived on the scene. Tonight, Nikko dropped another phat performance on North America with a tripped out version of Sisqo's chart-topper "Incomplete" from 2000. (I never heard of it, either.) Nikko's mother, Denise, was front row center once again, cheering loudly. His father, the Cardinals' Hall of Famer and baseball's all-time greatest shortstop, has wisely kept his distance from the competition since his blinding fame and popularity would undoubtedly overshadow his son's efforts during this zygotic stage of Nikko's musical career.
I'm just so proud of the boy. I feel like he's my son, having known him so intimately (on television and video) since he was five years old. In another way, it's like his father is back on the playing field. Nikko doesn't wear a glove like the one his father wore- the one where seeing-eye groundballs went to die for 19 years. He doesn't pull fastballs past the first and third base bags into the outfield corners in clutch situations, and he doesn't bring 40,000 people to their feet with his daring baserunning. But he's got that same air of performance, the same sense of style, the same flair for knowing when and how to give the eyewitnesses that little extra. I think it's even more satisfying to watch him attack the musical world, rather than the baseball world, since he's applying the same brush strokes to a different canvas.
Nikko bares a striking physical resemblance to his Pop-- the same eyes, mouth, and nose, the same build. He's the youthful and exuberant "San Diego Ozzie" with the Herzog-era twinkle of the eye, the Torre-era swagger and star-posture, and the LaRussa-era defiance. As Washington Post sportswriter Thomas Boswell once described his father-- "Little shoulder. Big chip."
Nikko conducts himself in interviews just like the old man. The gift of gab didn't come naturally. He chooses his words prudently, and it's never
not apparent that he's having to work hard to make the eloquence of his verbal expression match the eloquence of his craft. Like the
first great Ozzie Smith, the polish during the performance conceals the diligence and the work ethic beneath.
There's a new "Wizard of Oz" in the culture, people, and that's a fitting moniker since those who hope to usurp his power lack brains, heart, and courage.
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I flipped past Larry King tonight after "Idol" -- I call it "Idol." Larry had on Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life." The heading at the bottom of the screen said, "Rick Warren-- first live primetime interview since hostage read his book to alleged courthouse killer." Bet you're sorry you missed it.
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The Pope and Bill Clinton are dead. (How's that for an opening?) The Pope winds up in hell, and Clinton goes to heaven. The Pope goes to the devil and says, "Satan, I think there's been a big mistake. I should be up in heaven, and Bill Clinton should be down here."
Satan says he'll check on it.
The next day Satan goes back to the Pope and says, "You're right. There was a snafu with the paperwork. We'll be sending you up to heaven later today, and bringing Clinton down here."
The two men pass on the elevator en route to their eternal rewards, and the Pope says to Clinton, "I can't wait to meet the Virgin Mary."
Clinton says, "You're a day late."
More ribald fun tomorrow. Moeller, out.
I've got questions, who's got answers?
Questions of the day on the Terri Schiavo case...
-- Can we assume that President Bush has ended his crusade against "activist judges," now that he's sent the Terri Schiavo case back to federal district court judge James Whittimore for reversal? Can we at the very least assume that he supports "congressional activism?"
-- How can Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist call the Congressional intervention "a unique case" when Schiavo is just one of up to 35,000 people in this country determined to be in a persistent vegetative state? What is Congress' plan for the next 20 "Terri Schiavos?"
-- Are you as confused as I am over the Radical Right's hierarchy of "family values?" Here's a clarification, courtesy of House Majority Whip and general slimeball Tom DeLay. "The sanctity of life overshadows the sanctity of marriage," he proclaimed Sunday.
-- Do you keep a notebook with you at all times for these golden moments when the Lord speaks to us through his Earthly intermediaries?
-- Has there ever been a more disgusting political maneuver than DeLay's grandstanding on this issue? DeLay has attempted to provoke a "Passion of the Christ"-like political revival for 2005, even labeling his House legislation "the Palm Sunday Compromise." He has accused Terri's husband, Michael, of giving his wife inadequate medical care, and questioned his motives because he has fathered two children with another woman during the 15 years since Terri entered her vegetative state. Clarification: Michael became a nurse to tend to his wife, and has been repeatedly described by the courts as a devoted husband. Those courts have also ruled that Terri is a vegetable, completely unaware of her surroundings, due to the fact that most of her cerebral cortex, the thinking part of her brain, is gone?
-- Anyone else reminded of Brother Justin on "Carnivale" when considering DeLay?
-- How would the world be different today if President Bush, as he was Sunday, had been willing to leave his ranch and work in his pajamas in August of 2001? Was America's "culture of life" more at peril in the Schiavo case than when there were reports of imminent terrorist attacks by Osama bin Laden?
-- Why is MSNBC reporting that "both sides" of the political spectrum are using Schiavo for personal political gain when it was the conservatives- and the conservatives alone- who brought the issue before the Congress?
-- Who are the people who stand outside Michael Schiavo's house and shout out their personal judgments on his life? Where do they get their balls?
-- Why did Senate Democrats, ignoring the principles of seperation of power, the rule of law, the right to privacy, and the sanctity of marriage, refuse to show up Sunday for a voice vote that took less than two minutes? What did they not learn in November about telling Americans what they stand for?
Steroids for everyone!!
Blogging about the content of a 12 hour Congressional hearing reminds me why I was willing to leave a career as a news reporter. But here are a few random thoughts on the steroid hearing-- random because I watched a majority of the proceedings in inverted order, taping it at work until 6, and watching the more significant testimony by MLB's leadership before the earlier part:
1. I had some unexpected and perverse fun watching some members of our radical right-wing Congress chastise Major League Baseball for being pushed around by what I call the last effective union in the country. In this matter, unfortunately, the union has done a disservice to its members by not pushing for steroid testing and protecting the reputations of the innocent in their rank and file. Nevertheless, my left wing sensibilities enjoyed the part when Georgia Republican Lynn Westmoreland told MLB lawyer Rob Manfred, "Down home, we got an expression- 'You got your head handed to you' in collective bargaining." He wanted to know why the owners couldn't negotiate more severe punishments in the agreement.
The players' union is the most powerful player in this story, as it is in most stories that involve baseball. Bud Selig, despite being perhaps the most incompetent captain of industry in America, can actually point to his record on this issue with pride, I believe. This is a radically unpopular belief, but he implemented thorough minor-league steroid testing seven years ago, shortly after the McGwire/Andro story broke. He did nothing at the big league level, but the union would have made any move completely impossible.
2. Discussion topic: a baseball fan at work compared the mixed steroids message from Jose Canseco to the marijuana issue surrounding "West Wing" creator Aaron Sorkin. Sorkin said he smoked pot to aid the creative process. This guy is full of smoke, though (pun intended,) because Sorkin has never been a hypocrite. He thinks pot should be legal, but, indeed, Canseco is all over the map. His opening statement that he wanted to do everything he could to help the fight against steroid use by young people had me in hysterics. It's the exact opposite of what he's saying in his book.
3. By the way, did you know Canseco wrote a book? At one point today, he began a reply with the line, "There's a chapter in my book dealing with this issue..."
4. I was genuinely moved by Mark McGwire's opening statement, which I think adequately spoke to the stated goals of the committee, particularly the part about sending a message to the youth. I know that the majority of people who spent the day drinking green beer and watching basketball will allow the media to summarize this story for them, and the media focus will be on the fact that Mac never categorically denied that he used steroids. In all candor, I was praying that he would. But that being said, he was absolutely right when he stated that the players called to testify would not be believed regardless. The public makes up its mind as soon as they see the photo of the person taking the oath. I hope everyone also considers the fact that McGwire was being asked to forego his Constitutional right to privacy without any probable cause whatsoever, and on general principle alone, all of the players at the table should have told the committee where they could stick it.
I hope McGwire will be able to return to his retirement with the level of privacy that he seeks, but I know he'll also be busy raising Donald Hooton's surviving children in Plano, TX. Otherwise, how will these children ever learn how to make smart decisions?
5. Did anyone else notice on ESPN's bottom-line ticker that the Cardinals lost their first inning lead to Baltimore during McGwire's seven minute statement? The irony of the ticker was certainly lost to the participants in the committee room, but viewers across the country were given a running reminder that baseball was continuing despite the hearing.
6. I also noticed on the ticker that Barry Bonds had arthroscopic knee surgery today. I believe it's fair to say-- using baseball terminology-- that Congress walked Bonds intentionally to face McGwire.
7. Sammy Sosa did fine. Nobody wants to badger a guy who doesn't speak the language. Congress learned this a half a century ago when they called Casey Stengel to Washington to defend baseball's anti-trust exemption.
8. Fittingly, Sosa arrived with the largest entourage.
9. My exposure to Congressional hearings is so limited that my mind still drifts to Michael Corleone in "The Godfather, Part II" when I watch someone read a statement. Raffy Palmeiro's speech came the closest to Michael's. He even had a part about "When my family came to America..."
10. I take back everything I said about Curt Schilling this week. I thought he made the committee his bitch. He was stern, quick on his feet, and "all aces" on the issues of player loyalty and public disclosure. McGwire went after Canseco's heart with an emotional speech, but Schilling went for his jugular. I thought he was going to dive across the table a couple times. I would have stood and cheered at several points in his testimony, but I was so impressed, I was beginning to envision him, one day, as the GOP nominee for President, whipping the snot out of John Kerry.
11. Three cheers for Dennis Kucinich for calling out the committee for making the players the focus of the steroid issue when their bosses were also profitting. He credited it to "the win-at-all-costs mentality that has infected not only sports, but business, media... and politics." Political steroids, he said, are called PACs and special interests. He was "vintage Kucinich" when he addressed Sosa in Spanish. Sammy sat stunned for a second. He's become so accustomed to pretending he can't understand English, he momentarily forgot that he understands Spanish.
12. I want it known publicly that I'm calling my own citizen committee on the issue of steroids... in
government. I consider steroids to be a very serious public health problem in the U.S., especially among our impressionable youth, so I'm calling Arnold Schwarzenegger, the governor of California and a hero to children, as my first witness. Arnold is a former body builder who says he doesn't regret using steroids because they made him what he is today. I am also calling President Bush, the only man named in Canseco's book who was never in danger of having to testify. He made steroids a critical issue in his re-election campaign, and I want to know what he knew when he ran the team in Arlington, and when he knew it.
Message from an American mogul
Three Democratic senators crossed party lines today and supported the President's plan to pursue oil-drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge in Alaska. In the interest of public disclosure (which we're all about), those three senators were Mary Landrieu of Louisiana, and Daniel Akaka and Daniel Inouye, both of Hawaii. The bill passed 51-to-49 as a result, despite opposition from a coalition that included seven Republicans. It must first survive budget negotiations later this year, and final approval from both the House and the Senate, but vote-watchers on both sides believe today's vote was pivotal, as it passed despite the use of parliamentary stalling devices-- most notably, the threat of a filibuster.
The budget resolution assumes revenues of about $5 billion from drilling fees over the next decade, but has been fiercely opposed by environmental groups due to the fact that the affected area is one of the last unspoiled regions of wilderness in North America. They argue that the drilling would have minimal impact on the U.S. economy since oil will not be refined and available for consumer use for another 10 years, and even then will be in short supply.
There has been a moderate amount of public opposition to the drilling, despite the public's general drowsiness and inattention to current events. The argument against drilling has been centered on the wisdom of spoiling the refuge for, seemingly, so little economic gain; and rightly so, considering that, at best, the move will only momentarily forestall the inevitable economic collapse that will come without the introduction and corporate support of alternative biofuels. But where's the outrage over the selling off of our national resources? This will not be the American government doing the drilling, it will be the oil companies--
private oil companies once again making off with our public assets, then selling them back to us at any price they see fit, and regardless of how much resource is discovered and tapped in the 19 million acre refuge.
I find it enormously disheartening that the American people feel so little sense of ownership in this piece of property, and I'm not talking about the individual, personal property that we're taught to cherish in our consumer culture. I'm talking about the assets we own collectively as Americans.
If you ask the average American what they own, that person is likely to spit out a list of items that includes a home, car, lawnmower, and CD collection. But I have great news for you, Mr. and Ms. American. You are also part-owner of the public airwaves and its governing body, the FCC, the highways, the elections that determine our leaders, $5 trillion in workers' pensions funds, revolutionary scientific and medical research projects at the National Institute of Health, countless other research and development assets and the public works, a large shareholder leverage over the major corporations on the stock exchange, 56 National Parks and 388 "official" units of the National Park Service, including fisheries, national historic sites, and educational centers, and roughly one-third of all the real estate that makes up the United States. That's a pretty good feeling, isn't it?
But I've got some bad news for you, too. You've just been robbed.
A second opinion
A great blog (that is,
another great blog) is tvsquad.com. Check out this great
article in support of "Arrested Development."
The Overexposed
Most of you were probably already sick of the Red Sox and their winter victory tour-- the players and owners campaigning for their favorite presidential candidate, Johnny Damon on Saturday Night Live and Letterman, the Doug Mientkiewicz hidden-ball trick, the fight-picking with the Yankees, and the obnoxious team visit to the White House rose garden, etc.
When the Sox polished off the Cardinals in the World Series with relative ease, it was difficult for me to deprive them their moment of triumph, but my breaking point came last week. Curt Schilling, the Julia Roberts of baseball- deeply in love with his own public persona, declared himself the baseball player that Americans least suspected of using steroids. At the time of his announcement, he was accepting Congress' invitation to testify at Thursday's public hearing, but he has since hopped back on the fence and has yet to announce whether or not he'll appear.
Today brings word that five of the Red Sox "idiots," including Damon and motormouth Kevin Millar, will be getting "queer makeovers" in an episode of the Bravo television series "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Damon, however, will not-- I repeat- not-- be cutting his celebrated long hair due to a contract with the publisher of his upcoming book.
You've been warned.
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The Red Sox victory in October means the media can now focus all of it's "curse" coverage on the Cubs.
Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti declared today that the Cubs "are the one team that could be blessed with two of the most gifted pitching arms in recent baseball history, only to watch both encounter repeated arm troubles in their 20s." I hope Mariotti had his tongue firmly in cheek when he wrote this in response to the report that Mark Prior was joining Kerry Wood on the team training table with arm pain.
The Cubs are
hardly alone when it comes to experiencing injury problems with young arms. The Cards' Matt Morris has missed the equivalent of three seasons to arm surgeries, but he's done it in between three 15+ victory seasons. Rick Ankiel was equally heralded as a first round draft pick, and has had multiple injuries to go along with and magnify his mental blocks. And yet a third Cardinals standout, a more seasoned 20 game winner, is on the other side of the grass, having been poisoned by Harry Caray's restaurant. Things are tough all around, babe, and we make the best of the cards we're dealt.
When you have young power pitchers, you have young power pitchers that break down physically. Especially when they're throwing as many pitches as these two have during their development. It's exciting to believe that every pitching prospect from Texas is going to be the next Nolan Ryan or Roger Clemens, but those men were freaks of nature, and Wood, the Texan, has been especially vulnerable to injury, prompting former Cubs broadcaster Steve Stone to criticism Monday on Chicago sports radio WSCR-AM (670.)
"Wood has shown no adaptability," Stone said, "He wants to throw the ball 95 or 96 [mph]... Somebody is going to have to tell Kerry the object of the game is to pitch... [If] your mechanics are partially responsible for you getting hurt every year, you've got a couple of choices. You can take all the money you've made- which is a bundle- and you can go sell cars. Or you can make adjustments and try to stay around this league for 10 years."
Wow. Hard to believe Stone lost his job.
The NCAA tournament and other hijinks
While everyone's talking about sports scandals, how about this for a new one...
I think bubble teams that didn't make it into the NCAA round of 64 have a major bone to pick with the selection committee. I'm not qualified to say whether or not the Iowa Hawkeyes belong in the tournament, while teams like DePaul, Maryland, Notre Dame, and Buffalo don't, but I hope everyone is aware that Iowa's Athletic Director, Bob Bowlsby, heads the selection committee. Somebody has to, but Bowlsby is a permanent fixture on this board. Shouldn't there be a rotating group of selectors representing each of the eligible institutions?
Bowlsby obviously benefits if his University benefits, but in this particular year, the Hawkeye's selection may have a significant impact on Bowlsby's future employment. The success of Iowa's football team has probably secured Bowlsby's position for the foreseeable future, but the heat is on from the standpoint of the school's basketball team. The Hawkeye fans that I work with, almost to the person, want head coach Steve Alford out. For these fans, the new best-case scenario resulting from yesterday's selection is that Alford will now be considered a valuable coaching asset again by his alma mater, Indiana. The Hoosiers were a bubble-team not selected, which increases the likelihood that they will be pursuing a new coach. The anti-Alford crowd now fears, however, that Alford will serve out the rest of his contract, which runs, I believe, until 2009.
These are all interesting scenarios, but why is Alford's boss in charge of determining which teams get picked, and why is he in charge every year? Why is no one else talking about this? I think the whole thing stinks.
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Thursday stands to be a big day in baseball's history with the beginning of the Congressional Hearings on steroids. The "witch-hunt" is underway, and I use that word without knowing for sure that McGwire is innocent of the charges of steroid use. Unfortunately, he's already been convicted in the court of public opinion despite the lack of any evidence, so even if the Committee leaders deny they were interested in a "witch-hunt," we can already see the results.
After Saturday's report in the
New York Daily News that McGwire was linked to a federal investigation in the early '90s, I now believe it is necessary for McGwire to meet the committee and answer their questions publicly.
On this blog, we are McGwire fans, and we will continue to take him at his word until evidence is presented to the contrary, but Mark is being fried in the media. I've advocated in the past that McGwire stick to his simple, written denial in February, if he is, in fact, innocent. Even if he testified, I thought, there would still be too many people willing to believe the word of a a jealous, vindictive ex-teammate, and a group of criminals over his own.
Sorry to say, it now appears that any good will McGwire may have earned by his actions on the field is insignificant because his employer, Major League Baseball, is so universally distrusted, and rightly so. I'll have more on this topic later in the week.
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Sad news from Omaha and Hollywood, the Associated Press reports our favorite film director, Alexander Payne, and his wife, actress Sandra Oh, have decided to separate. The parting is amicable, we're told, but this puts a real damper on the arrival of "Sideways" on DVD, April 5th (complete with behind-the-scenes featurette, 8 deleted scenes, audio commentary by stars Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church, theatrical trailer, and 3 Easter Eggs.)
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Long weekend. I haven't taken this much time between postings since we started. I've been clearing my head watching some films on DVD. The extras on these things can be extraordinary. What an age we live in for movie and television buffs. "Pulp Fiction" is a particularly great package, with the addition of a "Siskel and Ebert" show from 1993, and a Tarantino interview on "Charlie Rose" from that same time.
The "Citizen Kane" box takes the cake, though, so far. There are two different commentary tracks, one by Welles biographer and "Sopranos" star Peter Bogdanovich and one by Roger Ebert. The box is worth the price if only for the inclusion of the 2 hour documentary feature, "The Battle over Citizen Kane."
The best audio commentary I've ever heard: "Night Court" creator Reinhold Weege on the show's pilot episode. He only has 23 minutes to give us behind-the-scenes info, but he's spitting it out at twice the normal human talking speed. Good stuff.
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Final Four teams: Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Wake Forest, and North Carolina. Mark it down.
Moeller TV Listings 3/14/05
Ozzie Smith's son, Nikko (Ozzie Jr.), is back on American Idol.
Despite being prematurely voted off the show last week, Nikko returns as another male contestant leaves the competition for personal reasons. The show airs Tuesday at 8/7c.
Part of our world tonight
Dan Rather said good-bye Wednesday on the CBS Evening News, and then on a taped, one hour, prime-time career retrospective. Rather has become a polarizing figure in the field of electronic news gathering- demonized by the right for alleged bias, and under the microscope by other journalists and the public because of a sloppy investigative piece involving President Bush's National Guard service record that aired on "60 Minutes 2" last September. (The show subsequently changed it's name to "60 Minutes Wednesday.")
I won't miss Rather's penchant for grandstanding, and I won't miss the outdated evening news "Anchor as God" format, once network execs develop the courage to finally blow it up. But I will miss the tenacity of Rather "the Reporter" on the nightly news.
It's unfortunate that Rather gave his enemies- political and professional- so much rope with which to hang him near the end of his run. Unfortunate, since I can't imagine his competitors even pursuing the Guard story to begin with. Between pursuing a lead too recklessly and not pursuing it hard enough, the latter is the greater sin.
Rather and CBS News have gradually slipped from first to third place over the two decades since "Gunga Dan" succeeded Walter Cronkite as the "face" of the network news division. It's difficult to measure, but I've always suspected that this is because Rather didn't project the soothing presence that Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw did. Dan never relaxed into an elderstatesman role in the industry. He still read the news with tight shoulders and an intense stare. His autobiography was entitled "The Camera Never Blinks" and Rather seemed intent on winning the staring contest.
But isn't this the preferred manner? As viewers we need to constantly remind ourselves that the information we're seeing is to be processed proactively. It shouldn't be there to reinforce our core beliefs and ideals, but to challenge them. With Rather, the news was "urgent."
The current media debate is being framed as the "old media," of which the big three TV anchors are symbolic leaders, versus the "new media," information exchangers on the internet, or if you rather, "the blogosphere," of which you are now taking part. I have worked in the first, and now play in the second, both in a minor capacity. As time moves forward, the first holds less appeal for me (and with a surprising lack of nostalgic feelings,) as the second continues to hold more and more resonance.
"Bloggers" rarely attempt to conceal their biases, and that's a refreshing commodity. It has always been disingenuous for news reporters to claim they have no biases, and I always shudder when I hear news consumers claim they want an unbiased perspective. (News organizations should have learned the lesson of Watergate that the cover-up is worse than the lie.) Bias is inescapable. You simply cannot write a story without making editorial judgments- what to put in, what to leave out, deciding what effects people the most about the story.
You can't "tell both sides" when, in actually, multiple sides always exist. A reporter's goal is not to be unbiased, it's be fair, and that's a very inexact endeavor.
The future of news lies in both television
and the internet. We will still turn to the TV during extraordinary events because of the need to share certain stories with the rest of the country. We saw this in the week following September 11th, when I thought the networks did terrific work. At the time, I wanted to feel safe, and that's what they do best.
The internet, the most exciting technological advance to hit democracy since the printing press, provides a diversity of sources unmatched in history. Over time, consumers will hopefully choose sources that challenge their beliefs rather than simply reinforce them.
Despite Rather's high profile mistakes, I hope his aggressiveness plays out through history as his greatest asset. We're currently living through a period of great intimidation directed at our right to information on the part of the White House and its censors. The President and his staff release stories through "friendly" news outlets, such as the
Wall Street Journal editorial board. Public access and media availability to the President have been severely limited, and dissent has been chilled under the disguise of public safety. In a world of Abu Ghraibs, Jessica Lynchs and Jeff Gannons, we need more reporters with Dan Rather's "bulldog" mentality.
In the end, unfortunately, he forgot to ask the tough questions of his own staff. He leaves, having alienated almost everyone in the broadcast industry and in Washington. The worse offense would be if he were universally beloved.
The end of my social life
The Mediacom cable company in Des Moines announced today that they are dropping FOX Sports Chicago from their programming menu in favor of FOX Sports Midwest. What does this mean? Only the elimination of 72 Cubs' baseball games from the local television schedule in favor of 112 Cardinals games. This is enormous news! The Cubs' games in question were moving to the Comcast sports network, and a contract agreement could not be reached between Mediacom and the network.
Cubs fans at work today were not amused. Eighty-one games will still be seen on WGN, along with the nationally-televised games on ESPN and FOX-- and, of course, 16 games against the Cardinals :) (Imagine Des Moines' Cubs fans finally being forced to watch the rivalry games on the Cards' network. It will happen on April 20th and 21st, August 11th, and September 7th.)
Can you feel the balance of power shifting, people? The men and women I work with may be only mildly agitated, but there's a new generation of young hearts and minds out there ready to be won.
I don't remember the Cubs being the popular team in Iowa prior to my ninth birthday in 1984. Fans my age and somewhat older were latching on to the Cardinals, Royals, White Sox, or other national teams that had had more recent success on the field. The Cubs may have been a sleeping giant going back two generations to their success in the National League in the first half of the 20th Century, but it was their NL Eastern Division pennant drive in '84 that served as a springboard for fan recruitment in the Hawkeye state. It was around that time that cable television systems began mushrooming in the small towns across the state. Couple that with the team's hiring of, perhaps, the greatest ambassador in baseball history to be their TV play-by-play man (Harry Caray, in 1982), and you've got a winning formula for success. WGN came to my Grandparents' home in Newhall in '84, and it changed their day-to-day lives. For retirees, children, or for anyone, it was three hours a day spent with the Cubs. By September of that year, the Cedar Rapids Gazette was counting down the Cubs' "Magic Number" to clinching the division on the front page of the paper. An angry 9-year-old, I considered that an official endorsement of the team.
The beginning of the end for the Cubs came in the late '90s. For some inexplicable reason, the Tribune Company began pulling the games of the team it owned off it's cable Superstation, replacing them with games of the cross-town Chicago team they didn't own, the White Sox. This was asinine. Other games left WGN when the station committed to the WB network prime-time schedule. "Gracie" was out, and "Buffy" was in. They were killing off the Golden Goose. The impact of WGN on the national popularity of the Cubs is absolutely immeasurable.
Almost a decade after these hideous baseball and business decisions, the Cubs are in a transitional phase and ripe for a loss in fan support. Their most popular player for the last fifteen years forced the team to trade him in February, and before he left he poisoned the clubhouse, which may have indirectly caused the departure of the team's television broadcasters. Color man Steve Stone was almost universally beloved on Cubs broadcasts. Play-by-play man Chip Carey caused sharper divisions among fans, but for everything he was or wasn't, he was Harry Carey's grandson and that meant a lot.
Already a Sunday fixture on Des Moines' WB television affiliate and coming off a World Series appearance in '04, the Cardinals have now secured a powerful position in Iowa's Capitol and largest media market-- a market in which they were probably only the fourth most popular team just a decade ago. (When I moved to the market 12 years ago, the Cubs, Royals, and Twins could all be seen on local television. The baseball strike in '94 severely damaged the popularity of the two American League teams.)
There will be a new ballpark in St. Louis next year. The manager and a core of All-Star sluggers are under contract through the transitional period. But it's not a Golden Age yet by any means. Cardinals fans in Iowa carry a huge responsibility to create visibility and spread the "good news" of Cardinals baseball. Mediacom needs to be convinced over the next year that we are a group of consumers to be reckoned with and respected-- not just a bargaining chip to be used against the Cubs' corporate partners. With a daily jolt of energy from my television, I suspect I'll be able to keep an intensity level that will make a positive difference. I hope you feel the same.
Hollywood comes to Norway
The story of Norway (IA) high school's final baseball season and championship is being developed into a movie by David Mickey Evans, director of "The Sandlot." "The Final Season" will star Sean Astin ("Rudy," "The Lord of the Rings") as Kent Stock, the head coach of the team during the 1991 season. Later that year, the school merged with Benton Community Schools.
Norway, a school that had only 104 students in grades 9 through 12 in 1991, had-- and has-- a rich baseball tradition. They won 20 state titles and developed three major league baseball players. Hal Trosky was one of the American League's most-feared sluggers in the 1930s and the Cleveland Indians' all-time home run leader for more than half a century. (It's now Albert Belle.) Bruce Kimm, as a player, is best remembered as Mark "The Bird" Fidrych's personal catcher during the wacky left-hander's infamous 1976 season. Kimm earned a World Series ring as the third base coach for the Florida Marlins in 1997 and briefly managed the Chicago Cubs in 2002. Mike Boddicker was the American League Rookie Pitcher of the Year in 1983, and won the ALCS MVP that same season as a member of the Baltimore Orioles. Nate Frese, a member of the 1991 Norway team as an eighth-grader, has reached as high as Triple A, with Des Moines in the Cubs' farm system.
I was a sophomore at Benton Community in '91, traveled to Marshalltown to watch the state tournament, and was pleased to play with many of the championship players after the consolidation. Two starters on the team, infielders Tim Arp and Jim Schulte, have contributed to this blog. I have it on authority from one of them that the players who still live in the Cedar Rapids area have been out to dinner with the movie's producers, where they were encouraged to share their memories.
The buzz on the film went statewide today thanks to an article in the Des Moines Register. Sue and Jerry chatted about it on our "Drive-Time Des Moines" program on WHO Radio, even giving me a chance on the air to share my memories as a "hanger-on" to the whole experience. After the chat, we got a call in studio from Norway City Councilman Jack Barnes. Jack has only lived in Norway for six years (in fact, he used to be an engineer at WHO--- and yes, everyone in Iowa knows everyone else), so he wasn't there in '91, but he did a great job promoting the town on the air and describing the excitement surrounding the film.
There are so many fascinating aspects to this film-- and I thought "Field of Dreams" hit close to home! What will Hollywood do to the real story? We know already that a romantic story line has been invented for Coach Stock, and there will be a fictional player, a "troubled" kid from Chicago who has to "adjust" to country life. What position will he play? Will he force Tim or Jim to the bench? Will casting agents make the players look older than they actually were? Hollywood tends to do that in films about war, high school, or sports. How will Benton Community be portrayed? A movie always needs a heavy. (I suggest a nasty Benton Community administrator who wants to replace the baseball team with a tractor plowing team.) Will there be scenes of realism thrown in, such as the players playing APBA, the classic baseball board game, during their down time? I hope so. Will they obscure the rampant use of chewing tobacco on the team to make the film more family friendly? I hope this as well.
The most encouraging sign that the movie will be an epic success is that it will be shot on-location in Norway, Marshalltown, and Cedar Rapids. As a tourist attraction, this could wind up making that cornfield in Dyersville look like the Moeller farm.
Cast and crew will be on the scene this summer, with the film expected to be finished by fall and ready for release next spring.
Moeller TV Listings 3/7/05
Monday night means the guys perform on "American Idol." Don't miss Nikko (Ozzie Jr.) Smith.
Survivors this week will make up the final 12 performers.
The 50 Great American Films 46-50
The last five films of the CM Top 50, alphabetically, from T to Z
TO BE OR NOT TO BE directed by Ernst Lubitsch (1942)
Jack Benny was primarily a star of radio and television, but his greatest film stands with the best. He was matched with the gifted comedienne Carole Lombard and Ernst Lubitsch, the German-born director and master of Hollywood's most sophisticated and witty comedies. Benny's perfect comedic timing is front and center, literally. As hambone Polish actor "the great, great Joseph Tura," Benny walks on stage in hose and blonde wig to perform Hamlet's famous soliloquy. Unbeknownst to him, his actress wife is having an affair and the "other man" is seated front row center in the audience. The man's cue to meet his lover backstage is Benny's line "To be or not to be..." Each night, as Benny begins the monologue, the man stands up and walks out. Benny's "slow burn" keeps getting longer and longer.
The Nazis are the greatest comic targets in movie history. Chaplin did "The Great Dictator," Billy Wilder did "Stalag 17" (which inspired TV's "Hogan's Heroes"), Jim Abrahams and the Zuckers did "Top Secret." Lubitsch's take, a story about a Polish theater company that becomes entangled with the Third Reich, was written and filmed before America had even entered the war. Audiences found it unsettling. It was certainly not considered light entertainment to be laughing at the Nazis during a time when their push seemed unstoppable. Also, Lubitsch had written with a coarseness that he had not with his other films. (His image had been used in caricature in a Nazi propaganda poster instructing Germans on how to recognize a Jew.)
Sixty years later, we recognize how attuned Lubitsch was to the Nazi threat, not just to racial and global harmony, but to freedom of expression and cultural creativity.
TOP HAT directed by Mark Sandrich (1935)
"Top Hat" is the greatest of the Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers musicals and one of the quintessential American films of the time between the Wars when frivolousness was not yet considered dangerous. The characters dress in grand elegance, reside in fancy hotels, and dance to songs written for them by Irving Berlin.
The magical scenes include Astaire courting Rogers with "Isn't This a Lovely Day" in a gazebo during a rain shower; Astaire dancing upon scattered sand while singing a lullaby to the sleeping Rogers in the room below; and the immortal "Cheek to Cheek" ballroom finale.
More than any other performers, Astaire and Rogers now personify "the Jazz Age" on the big screen. This, despite the fact that the pair's nine picture collaboration actually took place in the decade that followed, the decade that Hollywood came into its own.
Rogers once famously remarked that she had to do everything Astaire did on the dancefloor, except backwards. True enough, but you can also see how hard she's working to keep up. (In another of their films, "Swing Time," her feet began to bleed during filming.) I think it's fairest to conclude, as one critic has, that he gave her sophistication, and she gave him sex appeal.
Today, these movies seem to take place in a kind of dream state. The couple's definitive biographer, Arlene Croce, believes that, in their best pictures, something happened "that never happened in movies again"-- "dancing was transformed into a vehicle of serious emotion between a man and a woman." The settings may have been pure fantasy, but the audience's emotions are real. They were Cinderella and Prince Charming at the ball.
THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE directed by John Huston (1948)
"I know what gold does to men's souls," says the grizzled old prospector. (Could an old prospector be described in any other way?) The actor is Walter Huston, father of the director, who outlines the film early on when he describes how the best intentions of men disappear after gold has been discovered. The elder Huston (performing without teeth) won an Academy Award for the role. He established the stereotype for 19th and early 20th century western prospectors when he danced his famous jig, but we find out during the course of the film that there's more to the man than first meets the eye.
The middle-aged man in the three-man morality play is Louis Dobbs, played by Humphrey Bogart in the performance of his life. Dobbs' soul is in for the most damage. The three men battle bandits and soldiers, and finally, themselves, as greed and the paranoia of lost treasure set in. The landscape of the Mexican mountains is harsh, but beautifully photographed, as is Bogart's descent into madness.
Two infamous aspects of the film are worth noting. That's an adolescent Robert Blake as the Mexican begger in the early moments. Also, the movie's most famous line never really was. The bandit leader never says, "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges." The line was actually, "We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges." Credit Mel Brooks and "Blazing Saddles" for creating the confusion.
WHITE HEAT directed by Raoul Walsh (1949)
James Cagney in "White Heat" is explosive. The actor called his performance as trigger-happy Cody Jarrett and his return to the gangster genre-- "just another cheapjack job." Maybe that's why he was so willing to cut loose with such a bravura performance. At the time of the movie's release, the
New York Times' Bosley Crowther compared Cagney to a bullfighter, "His movements are supple and electric, his words as swift and sharp as swords, and his whole manner carries the conviction of confidence, courage, and power." It's extraordinary that a man capable of such violent portrayals could also sing and dance, as he did in such classics as "Yankee Doodle Dandy." Here, he became the first man on screen to mine the depths of the gangster's psyche. The "Mama's Boy" angle is still fertile soil for the writers and performer behind today's gangland monarch, Tony Soprano. For Jarrett, the physical affliction is not anxiety attacks, but chronic headaches that, as one character explains, were his only means of attracting his mother's attention.
Virginia Mayo is also brilliant in a supporting role as Jarrett's philandering wife. Brash, sexy, and manipulative, she created one of the great floozies in film history.
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN directed by Mel Brooks (1974)
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, "that's Fron-ken-shteen!," resents his famous scientist great-grandfather. He followed in his footsteps to a career in brain surgery, but he's never been able to resolve his feelings about the man's most famous experiment. (Hint: The one that involved grave robbing.) After being forced to travel from America to Transylvania to deal with the will, he stumbles across a copy of the old man's book, "How I Did It." Thus is the setup for Mel Brooks' funniest movie.
Like any great send-up, "Young Frankenstein" is effective because it's reverential to the subject it's spoofing. What gives it an extra level of insanity is that the movies it's spoofing are, themselves, spoofs. James Whale's monster, in "Frankenstein" and "Bride of Frankenstein," is no more Mary Shelley's literary creation than is Brook's. Gene Wilder, who co-wrote the screenplay along with Brooks, is the brilliant comic centerpiece, but he's surrounded by other greats such as a campy Cloris Leachman as the housemaid, Frau, the voluptuous Teri Garr as the lab assistant, Inga, and an hysterical Gene Hackman as the blind man.
Lovable and goofy, Peter Boyle is a better monster than even Boris Karloff. If the scene in which Dr. Frankenstein tapdances with his monster in white tie and tails isn't the funniest in movie history, it's in the top three. And viewers who only remember Madeline Kahn from her stint on Bill Cosby's second most successful eponymous TV series will witness in "Young Frankenstein" how brilliantly funny she was at her peak. Oh, sweet mystery of life...
This is a great movie.
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That wraps it for the CM Top 50. I hoped it would keep me busy through the winter and it did. Since I started writing the reviews, I began collecting the films on DVD. I'm up to four. Almost all of the 50 are available on state-of-the-art Special Editions, loaded with extras. You know what you have to do.
The other 45 film reviews were posted Dec. 18th, 23rd, and 30th, Jan. 9th, 16th, and 23rd, Feb. 1st, 5th, 12th and 17th.
Brush with greatness
Tonight after work, I hit the Dahls Grocery Store on Ingersoll Avenue (where the elite meet for fresh produce.) At the ATM, as I coincidently cashed my State of Iowa tax refund (a measly $27), I felt the guy at the machine next to me hovering a little too close. I nonchalantly leaned back and snuck a peak at his face. It was state Attorney General Tom Miller. I breathed a sigh of relief. If you can't trust the Attorney General next to you at the ATM, who can you trust?
The swing of spring
The latest from Major League Baseball...
The Veterans Committee for the National Baseball Hall of Fame failed to elect anyone when voting results were announced on Wednesday. It's obvious after this and the similar vote two years ago that the Hall of Famers want to keep their club as exclusive as possible. I can't say any of the names on the ballot jumped out at me this year unless we consider some of the candidates that made significant contributions off the field like Curt Flood. The on-field qualifications (read: statistics) for these candidates just aren't there. Still, it's incredibly unfair to put these men through this process every two years. Many have gone-- and will continue to go-- to their graves only after decades of torture, and poor Ron Santo has lost most of his dignity playing the diabetes card to the hilt. It makes one wonder why this committee even exists at all if it's not going to honor anyone, but maybe that's their idea.
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I'm trying to figure out why Mark McGwire is being asked to testify before Congress on the issue of steroids. Is the hearing designed to bring stricter testing to the game, or is it about prosecuting past crimes? Either way, Big Mac need not be involved? He hasn't been linked to steroids in any legal case, and as a retired player, he's out of the current game. I hope he simply issues a statement reiterating what he's already said, and refuses to appear. Donald Fehr and Bud Selig, the decision-makers on this issue (in that order,) should be asked to answer for current and past league policies. I'm reminded of the way Frank Sinatra would be dragged in front of Congressional hearings on organized crime in the 1960s and 70s. He was only there to generate publicity.
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Discussion topic: With the Cubs beginning to retire more numbers (Santo last year and Ryne Sandberg this year), will Sammy Sosa's number 21 one day hang from a flagpole at Wrigley Field?
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Congrats to Cardinals' fan Steve Fossett for becoming the first man to pilot a plane around the world alone without stopping or refueling. You might remember that Fossett chose Busch Stadium in St. Louis as his departure location for each of his first two unsuccessful balloon launches early in the decade.
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Quote of the day: Marlins' reliever Antonio Alfonseca, on his tenure with the Cubs, "I didn't want to stay there. The fans, they went crazy. I thought, 'Maybe I've got to quit. I've got to quit baseball.' And I almost did."
Blue
Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, told broadcasters Tuesday that government programming regulations should apply to cable television. Stevens usually makes headlines as the undisputed king of "pork barrel" spending. (Alaska, per capita, receives federal subsidies at 20 times the national average.) This time, instead of being in bed with big oil or big timber interests, he's lubing up the National Association of Broadcasters, who have been losing audiences to cable channels over the last couple years at a record clip.
"The problem is most viewers don't differentiate between over-the-air and cable," the senator said. "Cable is a greater violator in the indecency arena."
You're damn right it is. I don't pay $73.64 a month to watch "According to Jim." That cable line is
my business- and, maybe, the business of my local cable provider. But that's it. Stevens also indicated that he does not differentiate between basic cable service and premium channels. Oh, what I wouldn't give to see Tony Soprano take that belt to Stevens the way he took it to Councilman Zellman.
It is truly pathetic that so-called liberal and independent lawmakers are so silent on an issue so fundamental to our civil liberties. Their silence allows politicians like Stevens, who are already bought and paid for by Corporate America, to avoid answering to the citizenry. Who will have the balls over the next couple days to say something-- anything-- in defense of the First Amendment? I suspect no one. In February, only 38 members of Congress (out of 427) voted against the bill that increased broadcast indecency fines from $11,000 to $500,000. In passing that bill, they also extended the financial liability from just the broadcast companies to anyone who appears or is heard on the airwaves- including you.
I probably sound like a broken record, but once again, we see how conservatives reap political and cultural benefits by pushing further and further to the right. In this country, if you
frame the debate, you
win the debate. It's that simple. Last month, we were arguing about whether
broadcast content was indecent, now it's
cable content.
Ten years ago, broadcasters agreed to police themselves by backing a ratings system and the V-chip technology that blocks any undesired programming in private homes; but the nation's babysitters (to my admiration, politically) weren't satisfied. Next, they'll be coming after your local video/DVD store and your internet access.
And I, for one, will be getting my "fuck"s in while I can.
Fuck.
The broadcasters have been curiously silent since Janet's nipple appeared, which makes me wonder if there hasn't been some sort of under-the-table "tit-for-tat" leading to this attack on the cable outlets. The Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) are each pushing for amendments to protect performers, but their corporate employers seem resigned to surrender their creative freedom, as long as they could also lose some of their competition. What we should be seeing in the industry is a high profile movement that would energize First Amendment supporters. Howard Stern has suggested that radio and television stations go dark for a period of time in protest. That would get people's attention. It's ironic after all that, in this instance, the group under attack actually controls the technology that turned Americans into zombies.
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Hopefully you've already heard that a pioneering TV show will be leaving the air after tonight. I watched "NYPD Blue" regularly for the first eight or nine of its 12 seasons. Dennis Franz, in particular, had a hell of a run, and I'm pleased to tell you that you can continue to enjoy the grittiness of the show through co-creator David Milch's newest artistic venture, HBO's "Deadwood." The second season premieres Sunday night at 8 central.
Thank you "NYPD Blue" for everything you've meant to me and my country's Bill of Rights. I've enjoyed every ass and side of the breast you've ever shown us. Tonight, I'll be hoping for one more from that brunette.
