Opening Day 2008
It's baseball's opening day, the Cardinals are at Busch Stadium, I've got the day off from work, and a bottle of Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry in hand. My pal Rob is working, but he graciously gave me access to his cable television and his Digital Video Recorder where I can watch the on-field opening ceremonies over and over at my leisure.
Opening Day is always a beauty. It's fun to watch the Budweiser Clydesdales circle the diamond, the players riding in atop red convertibles, and Ozzie Smith and Tony LaRussa trying to avoid each other on the field.
The forecast for the day is a wet one, and the pundits have been raining on the Cards' pennant chances as well, but I think this team has a lot of untapped potential, particularly at the bat. I know this-- a week ago today they put six big league-established pitchers on the disabled list, and those guys are going to get healthy along the way. If the team takes off at the start and wins 8 to 10 more games than it loses before Memorial Day, they won't look back.
Making the band
A baseball blog dedicated to the Philadelphia Phillies had a shockingly well-thought out, almost indisputable
post yesterday comparing each big league team to a rock-n-roll band. Not a transcendent concept perhaps, but in the case of the Cubs and the Reds, two of the biggest fans I know of each team happen to be big supporters also of their corresponding band. I thought the assessments for the Cubs, Reds, and Cardinals were all pretty much spot-on...
Chicago Cubs are Jimmy Buffett: Millions of people like them for some reason, despite having done nothing worthwhile for a full century. The culture of drinking surrounding each probably explains this tolerance for failure. The fans are generally affable and friendly, but are single-mindedly dedicated to their hero(es). Fans will travel thousands of miles to see them play.Cincinnati Reds are The Rolling Stones: The oldest still-working group out there, they nonetheless peaked decades ago but keep insistently plugging away. Nostalgic throwbacks for some, painfully anachronistic for others. Controversies of the past are now mostly in the background, but still pop up from time to time (Marge Schott, Pete Rose; drug abuse, yucky sex).St. Louis Cardinals are The Beach Boys: The wholesome, family-friendly exterior conceals a deviant, tragic core (substance abuse, performance enhancing and otherwise; tragic deaths of key performers). Led by an authoritarian egomaniac (Tony LaRussa; Murry Wilson). One brilliant member surrounded by a rotating cast of a couple solid supporting players and a bunch of scrubs (Albert Pujols; Brian Wilson). Shocking, inexplicable late-career resurgence (2006 postseason; "Kokomo").Again, I'd like to reiterate though that the 2006 Cards' postseason was not at all inexplicable. The team, with its nucleus still intact, had averaged 96 wins per season over the previous six seasons. A championship is not a shock when you have more post-season wins over the last decade than any team other than the Yankees. It's more of an eventuality than a shock. But I digress.
Also, the Mets are not "gargantuan and powerful." They
are very much like Black Sabbath however, especially Mike Piazza.
And who on the Reds do you think is having "yucky sex"?
The photo shoot
The photographer from Des Moines Home Style magazine
came in today to take pictures. It's hard to tell what will result from it, or when, but he clearly spent some time in the place. One of the lamps was unplugged so something else was probably plugged in, a dish rag and the cutting board were shuffled around in the kitchen so he likely snapped a picture of the counter and the cabinets, the shower curtain was pulled closed which doesn't say much for his evaluation of my tile installer, and my autographed picture of Whitey Herzog is missing so he knows his baseball.
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Sticks and stones: There's a lot of truth in
this essay. Money passage:
The beauty of (the word) nigger isn't that its meaning has changed, or that's it's been turned into a positive. Words are neutral; it's the author who imbues them with their specific mode or charm. And so it is in our hands that nigger has not simply changed, but has grown and expanded beyond the syphilitic mental faculties of its racist inventors. ---
At last,
Sports Illustrated has opened up
its archives online. Proving my relentlessness, here's
the Cool Papa Bell article I promoted back in September.
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Tasteless stolen joke of the day: Heather Mills sure made a lot of money just by spreading her leg.
The coming collapse
With the latest Gilded Age fading and a new Depression dawning, it's important to get out ahead of the corporate spin. The latest issue of
The Nation has
a terrific article outlining our government's recent corporate giveaway, having steered us to the edge of economic catastrophe. We hear a lot in the mainstream media echo chamber when taxpayers have to bail out ordinary citizens in over their heads in home mortgages and other debt such as student loans; but on a much larger scale, the Federal Reserve, with your tax dollars, under secret terms, and after a quarter century of failing to regulate the market, just completed a bail-out of the fifth largest investment bank in the U.S., Bear Stearns, and set itself up for possibly 20 more of the same in the coming years.
Speculative greed on Wall Street and a lack of law and order towards big business led us to this financial precipice. Only a popular uprising by the common people can steer us back away from it. Our government has to be wrestled away from the corporate lobbyists, the polluters, and the neo-robber barons. That means citizens refusing to compromise politically, or continuing to hand over control of our most deeply-held rights and principles to candidates and Washington "insiders" who don't have our collective interests at heart. At a Madison Square Garden rally in 1936, one of the two greatest presidents in our history, Franklin Roosevelt, said of his opponents in the wealthy class, "They are unanimous in their hatred of me-- and I welcome their hatred." Demands for change have to be just this militant.
A San Francisco Giant?
Say hey! EBay is making it possible for you to own
a vintage negative, with full reproduction rights, of baseball Hall-of-Famer Willie Mays naked. The bidding starts at 25 grand, but the $30 shipping charge is the real obscenity.
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Other heading considered for today's post:
EBay's basket catch.---
Tina Fey, creator and star of the best show on television "30 Rock," is saying what many of us have said about
"The Daily Show."---
Talented filmmaker
Anthony Minghella died on Tuesday. His 1999 feature "The Talented Mr. Ripley" was a eerie and suspenseful masterpiece. The more I see it, the more I think it's one of the four or five best movies of the last decade.
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Blogger Ken Levine
explains why it is you see "M*A*S*H" re-runs on so many Fox-owned television stations.
Kiss me, I'm sober
Quote of the day:Christopher Moltisanti, to Tony and Paulie on "The Sopranos," after coming out of a coma:
"I'm going to hell, T... I crossed over to the other side... I saw the tunnel, and a white light. I saw my father in hell... And the bouncer said that I would be there too when my time comes."(Paulie: "What bouncer?") "The emerald piper... That's our hell. It's an Irish bar where it's St. Patrick's Day every day. Forever."
The wiretapping trial of the century
When authors Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler were popularizing the concept of the cynical and hard-boiled private detective with their series of Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe books (respectively), they never romantized their protagonists' profession, except by surrounding them always in pithy dialogue and sometimes with attractive, dangerous women. Still, we're sometimes reminded just how filthy the private detective business really is.
A contemporary case is playing out this month in a courtroom in Los Angeles. PI-to-the-stars Anthony Pellicano and a handful of his associates are on trial for racketeering and conspiracy, wiretapping, witness tampering, identity theft, and destruction of evidence. For an added Hollywood touch to the proceedings, the sleuth is
acting as his own attorney.
Testimony and evidence involving comedian
Chris Rock has been entered into court records, but my favorite testimony thus far involves another comedian, Garry Shandling, who took the stand Thursday to describe how Pellicano allegedly wiretapped his phone while under the hire of Shandling's former manager, Brad Grey.
A report of Shandling's often-entertaining and, it would seem, very level-headed testimony are transcribed
here, but I've extracted a couple favorite passages as well from the linked report:
When Mr. Shandling was asked to state his occupation by prosecutor Kevin Lally, Mr. Shandling joked wryly, "That's a bad sign. I'm a comedian." The judge then admonished him that he was not a comedian today and Mr. Shandling responded by articulately, calmly and movingly telling the jury about how he'd been allegedly victimized by Mr. Pellicano and by his clients, Mr. Grey and Mr. Grey's lawyer, Bertram Fields....(W)hen Mr. Pellicano asked Mr. Shandling when he considered himself successful, Mr. Shandling looked puzzled and replied, "I don't think in those terms." When Mr. Pellicano asked Mr. Shandling what Mr. Shandling considered to be the most monumental moment of his career, Mr. Shandling replied, "when I guest hosted The Tonight Show." Mr. Pellicano nodded and then asked again, "what was another monumental change?" Mr. Shandling stared back and then with classic, comedic timing, spat back, "I consider monumental a good enough word to use one time." The courtroom erupted in laughter, but Mr. Pellicano didn't even smile. He just looked down at his notes and asked another disjointed, confusing question that the Judge had to correct for him.Comedians such as Shandling, David Letterman, Jerry Seinfeld, and Roseanne Barr are always falling over themselves in giving credit to Johnny Carson and "The Tonight Show" for the success of their careers, but now one of them has actually entered it into our public court records.
The war continues...
It's important that we be reminded that America's imperial war on the Iraqi people is still going on. Eighty percent of Iraqis want the occupation to end, but each of the remaining major party political candidates for president in this country are offering plans to continue our military presence in the region and to spend billions and billions of our tax dollars in doing it.
The national news media doesn't even cover the war anymore, concerning itself instead with the beauty pageant between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. The Project for Excellence in Journalism found that only 3% of news in February was devoted to the war, down from 15% in July. Probably as a result, a
new poll by the Pew Research Center finds that only 28% of American adults are able to correctly identify the American casualty count at "approximately 4,000."
The so-called "liberal" media is asleep at the switch, and again we're witness to the actions of Democratic party leaders destroying a once-powerful progressive political movement. The Peace Movement, symbolized by Cindy Sheehan's public face of courage in 2002 and 2003, was turned over to the Obamas, Clintons, Pelosis, Reids, and Hoyers in Washington, and now the Democrats have another scalp of progressive action hanging from their collective belt.
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Once upon a time it was fun to read about Eliot Spitzer going hard after Wall Street crooks, but the prosecutor-turned-governor has also been revealed as a fat hypocrite since he had been tough on prostitution as well.
Why again is prostitution illegal? The differences between America's failed treatment of drug abuse and its failed treatment of prostitution are negligible.
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Spitzer's scandal doesn't effect Hillary Clinton's campaign in the slightest. Americans still don't think of Clinton as being from New York.
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A million internet hits and late night jokes later, Spitzer is out as New York governor, but no one remembers that Tommy Lasorda did the same thing.
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Last night, I could hear the next door neighbors hammering nails into the wall and there's been a lot of rustling of furniture and large packages being left at their door. They're playing hard ball on
this thing.
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Are you aware that they made a
"Bachelor Party 2"?
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The movie
"Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" looks like a hoot, but I hope you don't have to have seen their first film to know what's going on.
Nick's Movie Picks 2007-2008
Faithful to my one-post-per-year pace, I’ve decided to give people my opinions of this year’s movies. Since not everything (but most) of what I wanted to see has been made available to me yet, there may be forthcoming addenda.
Best Drama: There Will Be Blood
This is an EXTREMELY difficult choice with No Country for Old Men and Michael Clayton in the running. My decision comes down to this: I like to disagree with the Academy, and I think Chris will probably pick Michael Clayton…I can’t steal his thunder like that.
Best Action: 300
This one is easy. Sure its outrageous, sure its “action porn” as one critic called it, but I defy you not to, at some point during the movie, clench your fist and flash a sadistic grin as the appendages fly.
Best Comedy: Superbad
This is also easy. Not only did it make me laugh harder than any movie in years, but it is the comedy of my generation (i.e. those in high school and college right now).
Best Screenplay: No Country for Old Men.
You can view this as the other best drama award, if you want.
Best Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country
Best Supporting Actor: Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton
Best Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Though probably a supporting role, I didn’t see many movies this year with major female characters.
Best Supporting Actress: Amy Ryan Gone Baby Gone
That The Wire never gets nominated for anything does bias my decision.
Best Soundtrack: Black Snake Moan.
It contains tracks of some of my favorite modern blues artists: R.L. Burnside, the Black Keys, North Mississippi Allstars. Samuel L. Jackson more than holds his own in several tracks, including a cover of the title track. It’s all real down-and-dirty electric Blues.
Movie with Best Original Music: Into the Wild.
Eddie Vedder hits the right emotions without distracting from the film.
Most Overrated Movie of the Year: Juno.
Movies like this are far more enjoyable when you have little or no expectations.
Most Underrated Movie of the Year: Into the Wild.
The Academy did recognize one of its many great supporting performances by nominating Hal Holbrook, but this adaptation, which kept just the right distance from its source material (faithful yet stripped of a lot of the weary “outdoorsman” stuff) is up there with No Country, Blood, and Clayton for best of the year.
Movie I most look forward to see that never opened in the Quad Cities: I’m Not There.
Home Style
This is not a joke. On Wednesday, I received an email from a woman at something called "Des Moines Homestyle Magazine." It was sent to me and three of my neighbors and they were requesting half a day for a photographer to come into our condominium units and take pictures for publication. (I think the magazine is a supplement to
The Des Moines Sunday Register.)
She put in a caveat immediately though that not every unit will be featured, and so my immediate thought was that mine didn't have a chance in hell of being included. (I use barstools as living room end tables.) But after just two days I'm obsessing. Should I go on a shopping spree? I could spruce up with some flowers and centerpieces, maybe a well-placed pastoral painting for the wall of the dining room, or maybe just an elegant red throwrug for the Cardinals baseball room.
This woman also requested an hour of my time to sit with a feature writer to talk about the building and the neighborhood. At the very least, maybe I could score a well-placed quote or quip for publication. I tell you I've never wanted anything so badly in my life.
Now I have to stop blogging. Martha Stewart is on the Today Show.
Bill Buckley's biggest fan
Gary David Goldberg, creator of the television series "Family Ties," has an opinion piece in today's
New York Times called
"What would Alex Keaton do?" The question posed: where would the ultra-conservative Michael J. Fox character be politically today if he were still around?
I happen to think that the left-leaning Goldberg is engaged in more than just a little revisionist history if he thinks Skippy Handelman's best friend would be weighing a vote in 2008 for Barack Obama, but that's clearly Goldberg's candidate. Alex would definitely have gone for John McCain or Mitt Romney, unless he formed strong political connections with Mayor Giuliani after taking that big Wall Street job in the series' final episode. I went to high school with an Alex Keaton, and he went to work for McCain after he grew up, so it fits. Alex stood by Oliver North during Iran-Contra. At the time, he had his baby brother Andrew rehearsed in the talking points of the Lt. Colonel's defense. I doubt he would blink an eye over Dick Cheney's antics.
Keaton family members still living in Columbus, Ohio would have gone to the polls today, and I'm sure Alex's parents, Steven and Elyse, did vote for Obama.
And clearly the Huxtables were for Mike Huckabee.
Hot politics
Tonight, we've got some online must-viewing. It's
a "Frontline" special concerning the politics of global warming. The report illustrates how both of the corporate parties have used the issue to score political points, but have failed time and time again to enact-- or even push for-- meaningful change. This special is now 11 months old, but it's recommended viewing for all voters during this very peak season for candidate promises.
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We've got a man on the inside in
the debate at the Iowa statehouse over the state health department's anti-smoking advertisements. Republican lawmakers say they may hold up confirmation of the department's director because of thousands of taxpayer dollars (600 thousand, to be exact) being used this year to get an anti-smoking message out over the airwaves. Good pal Rob S. (who requested that his full name be withheld until he had a chance to read the published story) works on this very issue at said health department. Isn't advertising an appropriate and effective way for the department to fight smoking? I asked Rob S on the record. His pointed but unrefined response: "We're just doing our f***ing jobs."
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Rob S. is also our man on the inside if House leaders decide to take up the issue of the gay marriage amendment.
A new "Shift" approaching
Vanity Fair's Jim Windolf has up
a clip of one of Jay Leno's first appearances on Letterman, during those more innocent days of the early 1980s when Jay was one of the real "attitude" comedians working the circuit. Leno's contract with NBC Universal runs out late next year, but might we see "The Chin" take his act to ABC or Fox when Conan O'Brien is handed the reins of the Tonight Show? Bill Carter, author of "The Late Shift," seems to believe
we will. Attempting a Letterman-like change of networks, though, would really put the comic's ratings metal to the test, if not his entire legacy in late night. If Leno is truly the king of the late night ratings, then we'll only know it once he takes his act-- like Letterman-- to a network that doesn't already have a tradition established in late night comedy.
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John Dickerson at Slate wrote this week about how
"taking umbrage" is the latest preferred strategy of campaign consultants. Democrats will attempt to make as much political hay as possible of the right-wing demogogues' use of Barack Obama's middle name (Hussein) in campaign speech and literature. Will Obama be "swift-boated" because of his father's Muslim upbringing? The only person that can allow it to happen is Obama himself-- and the "taking umbrage" strategy doesn't work any political miracles. Ask John Kerry. This is another example of how Democratic party operatives demand solidarity in their efforts in getting a candidate elected, but then in reality, don't have a clue about how to actually do that. Obama is facing an uphill battle as it is in proving his political toughness.
Already, he's gone to great pain in pointing out that his father was "a confirmed atheist" by the time his parents met, the implication then being that his multicultural upbringing really is a political liability. The campaign labeled it "fear mongering" recently when "embarrassing" pictures of Obama in Muslim dress surfaced, likely sourced either by the Clinton or McCain political camps. Jesus, they're sissies. My advice: Own your name, Barack. The eight words I'm waiting to hear from you during a televised debate-- "I'm proud of my name
and my heritage."
Call it the Tao of Sinatra.
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So the Texas Democratic Caucus system, established by said Democrats, is
unfair, is it?
What's unfair in Texas is that for independent candidates to even get their name on the ballot, they have to gather signatures from 1% of the total percentage of Texas voters, none of whom (60,000-plus) can be registered Democrats or Republicans, and the independent campaigns have only a 60 day window in which to gather the signatures. Elected Democrats and Republicans put
those "arcane" rules in place.
In Texas, only 32% of the population bothers to vote.
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In twins news, Jennifer Lopez has
given birth to "the fake kind," that is, a fraternal set. (Identical twins, conversely, are the real deal.) From now on, when you hear people refer to Jennifer Lopez's "set of twins," this is likely what they're talking about.
