Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Turns out that maybe Less was not More

Major media changes are coming. Declining newspaper circulations and radio listenership are causing major players like the Tribune Co. and my former employer, Clear Channel, to consider reverting back from public- to privately-held enterprises. (Which would likely also mean the spinning off of a certain Chicago baseball team.) As media blogger Jeff Jarvis pointed out last week, consolidation is the act of a dying industry, "(Clear Channel) bought up stations and sucked cash out of them, but now there's nothing left to suck."

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A novel idea.

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Enjoyed a splendid Halloween weekend. Friday began in earnest with the Cardinals' first World Championship since I was in Underoos, and then my Groucho Marx getup nabbed an unprecendented two of four awards ("Funniest" and "Most Realistic") at one of Cedar Rapids, Iowa's swankiest holiday parties. And I carved my first pumpkins since "On Golden Pond" was in theaters. It almost made up for missing the Charlie Brown special on TV. Was that on tonight? Did the Great Pumpkin show up?

Monday, October 30, 2006

A final 2006 World Series rant (Yeah, you wish)

If baseball journalists were held to the same high employment standards as the sport's big league managers, it would be just about now that I would be severely regretting my decision to leave the radio business last year. As a result of this year's laughably bad post-season prognostications, there would be enough vacancies in sports commentary positions that Jimmy the Greek could probably find work again. And I'm pretty sure he's dead.

Maybe America didn't tune in to the 2006 World Series, but I doubt that that had to do with the fact that small market participants were involved or that the games were a poor entertainment product. The 1985 World Series, by way of another example, also featured two small-town midwestern cities, St. Louis and Kansas City, and that series remains the most-watched Fall Classic of all-time. (Total households, not percentage of households.) The '85 Series featured bad umpiring and two teams both batting near the Mendoza Line, just as this year's featured bad defense and two teams both batting near the Mendoza line. How can the problem lie with the product when you don't know what the product is, or was, until after the games are over?

My theory is that the sport-- and FOX television, the tail that wags it-- does nothing to promote more than three teams. All the way through Game 7 of the NLCS, FOX was running a World Series promo that featured film clips of National League players, and all four players-- Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, David Wright, and Jose Reyes-- played for the Mets. A group of American Idol participants sang promotional versions of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in front of a scoreboard backdrop that read "Tigers vs. Mets."


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There's lingering criticism that an 83-win ballclub could win the World Championship of baseball, but who complained, outside of this blog, when the Cardinals were beaten from the playoffs five previous times this decade, each time by a club with an inferior regular season record. Nor were there angry rebukes when three of the previous four championships were claimed by Wild Card playoff entrants. Perhaps we were not seeing an 83-win St. Louis club at all, but rather the same 100 win Cardinals team we've seen each of the last two summers. They just decided to stop expending all of their energy before the playoffs began. It's always said, after all, that baseball is a game of constant adjustments.

The Tigers may have peetered away their chances with an historic collection of E-1's in your scorebook, but at least two of the defensive miscues were made on the handling of bunts, and since when is it new for a National League club to push the envelope on fundamentals in the World Series. To me it was incredibly retro-- forcing the champions of the Junior Circuit slow-pitch softball league to do the little things to stay in the game, the equivalent of the beatings the Dodgers and Reds gave to Tony LaRussa's heavily-favored Athletics in 1988 and 1990, respectively.

There may not have been any errors committed on those plays if the Cardinals didn't already have runners on base each time, exposing the weak defense of the Tigers' thirdbaseman, the leg injury of their firstbaseman, and the vast post-season inexperience of their flame-throwing, but wild bullpenners. Maybe the Series outcome implies only that A-Rod should try laying down a bunt sometime. Perhaps Detroit's pitchers felt they needed to be too perfect after the team's offense lost the opportunity to tee off against the likes of Esteban Loaiza or that classic #1 in any rotation, Chien-Ming Wang.

We all know the old axiom-- good pitching beats good hitting, and that's what this Series was truly all about. Chris Carpenter is the best starting pitcher in baseball, and the rest of the Cards' rotation fell in line behind him. Anthony Reyes may be about to show us he's a pitcher of that same caliber, and the hand-made sign of the night Friday at Busch Stadium was the one that read "Clone Suppan." Something tells me that if both teams had batted .300 in the five games, and runs were plentiful, we'd be hearing the same complaints about the quality of play, except focused on the inferior pitching.

Grateful that they're still employed, maybe the question baseball's journalists should be asking themselves now is not "How can a Goliath such as [whichever team won the American League this year] lose to a team staffed with the likes of Jeff Weaver?" but rather "Why do none of these American League teams have a pitching coach as good as Dave Duncan?"

Friday, October 27, 2006

Go crazy, folks, go crazy!

The Chris Moeller Blog congratulates the St. Louis Cardinals, 2006 World Champions!

No school tomorrow!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Just one more!!!

When I reach for the Christmas presents under the tree this year, I'll be saving the smallest one for last in honor of David Eckstein...


Only six major North American sports franchises have won a double digit number of World Championships-- the NHL's Montreal Canadiens and Toronto Maple Leafs, the NBA's Boston Celtics and Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers, the NFL's Green Bay Packers, and baseball's New York Yankees. Friday night, the St. Louis Cardinals go for Championship #10.

Rest in peace tonight, Curt Flood.

St. Louis' four-decade quest to host an All-Star game stalls again

The American sports media's contempt for the St. Louis Cardinals evidently knows no limits. Most recently on Wednesday, the Baseball Writers Assocation of America moved forward on a formal request to Major League Baseball that it hold off on the awarding of the 2009 All-Star game to the Cardinals until the team agrees to improve working conditions in Busch Stadium's press room. The room is reportedly not climate-controlled, and reporters sitting in the box's top row are forced to lay their heads on the table in able to view the centerfield scoreboard. The commissioner on Wednesday called the issues "real and valid."

Other than the Fall Classic's thorough absence of Yankees, Mets, and Red Sox, I guess we now know why so many sports journalists have been pouting this year about their post-season travel itineraries. Said incoming BBWAA president Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, "I can't believe anyone would build a brand new stadium with an open press box. If you're going to play in October and get weather like this, you're going to get this." Hoynes is evidently forgetting that the All-Star game is played in July. At a nearby table, New York reporter Max Mercy had no comment as he stencilled away at a drawing of Albert Pujols striking out.

Commissioner Selig, meanwhile, moved ahead with his plan to award the 2008 All-Star game to the New York Yankees and the new Yankee Stadium-- obviously forgetting that the new Yankee Stadium press box today lacks not only windows, but doors, walls, a ceiling and a floor.

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The full conspiracy behind protecting Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers didn't come to light until I saw the FOX pre-game show on Tuesday awkwardly seque from a conversation about putting the Rogers story to bed to a joint on-field interview with commissioner Bud Selig and union head Don Fehr. Baseball execs were busting their buttons in anticipation of having the World Series stage to announce their new labor agreement. The last thing they needed was to have another cheating scandal rear its ugly head two days before the blessed event.

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What do you suppose Ryan Howard is up to tonight?

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Lost in the sports media's attention to Kenny Rogers was the report that one of the NFL's leading defensive players, Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers, failed a test for steroids. He'll be back on the field by Thanksgiving.

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Many Cardinals fans have begun labeling their team's World Series opponents the Detroit "Lyin's" or the Detroit "Cheat-ahs." But I hope you noticed I still called them "the Tigers" in the first paragraph.

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This Bud's for you, Detroit.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

National pride

To St. Louis Cardinals fans last week, ESPN.com wiseacre Bill Simmons scribbled, "Look at it from my vantage point-- your team is five games over .500 in a CLEARLY inferior league and only managed one run combined against John Maine and Oliver Perez in the deciding games of a playoff series. I know you're happy about playing in the World Series, but you can't honestly think you have a great team, right? I don't know a single person outside of Detroit and St. Louis who's excited about the 2006 World Series."

If baseball's television ratings do suffer during this Fall Classic, perhaps it will be because the Tigers and Cardinals failed to separate their individual World Championships by 89 years like Simmons' beloved Red Sox. Boston fans, meet Chris Carpenter. You didn't have to face him in the 2004 Series thanks to a biceps injury. Be grateful.

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I want to say this also about the Cardinals after they took a two games to one lead tonight on Detroit in the best of seven Series. They're going to go at least six games against a team that blew away the Yankees, and annihilated the Athletics, who swept the Twins. And if they manage to win this series, that would be two National League championships in the last four years, and the Seniors didn't have home field advantage in any of those finals. That would be pretty damn impressive when you figure that only two teams won the World Series without home field advantage between 1984 and 2003. As that great National League failure Casey Stengel once said, "You can look it up."

Monday, October 23, 2006

That crap on Kenny Rogers' hand

You can smell the foul odor all the way to Iowa. Tigers' pitcher Kenny Rogers was caught "brown-handed" Sunday night in the World Series by FOX cameramen, commentators, and producers with what appeared to color man Tim McCarver to be pine tar on his pitching hand. A day of further investigation has produced similar pictures of Rogers pitching with dirty hands in the American League playoffs against both the Yankees and Athletics.

What was that on his hand? Rogers says it was a combination of dirt and rosin, but if it was that, why did he have to go to the clubhouse to wash it off rather than just wipe it on his pants? And since when is dirt so shiny? My first gut reaction was that it was some kind of gooey sugar concoction, but then I'm in full Autumn mode right now and have been overdosing of late on carmel apples.

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Acquaintances of mine take note: If the St. Louis Cardinals lose this World Series in the coming week, you will be hearing about the Gambler's loaded dice for the rest of my life-- and probably yours as well.

Umpire supervisor Steve Palermo says the umpires were "proactive" about this whole rhubarb and asked Rogers to wash his hands between innings, but Rogers says they approached him only about his pacing on the mound. Huh? He says he washed his hands on his own. Of course TV cameras caught his thirdbaseman and one of his coaches, Andy Van Slyke, pulling him off the field and getting in his ear quickly after the frame ended. "This is not their first summer away from home," Palermo said of the umpires after the game.

Ok, cover ups aside, I don't call that being "proactive" anyway. Proactive is investigating the complaints of Cardinals players immediately, tossing Rogers out of the game on spot, and waiting for the league to hand down its ten game suspension. Even if the umpires didn't notice the hand themselves until after Rogers had sprinted back to the water closet, the least they could have done was check his cap and glove for contraband. And, by the way, Palermo said they did spot it but "observed" it to be dirt.

Rogers' snooty teammates and many commentators pointed out that Rogers continued to dominate last night's game even after the first inning and that vigorous bathroom scrubbing, but how do we know he didn't simply switch to vaseline or the old fashioned emory board? Cheaters cheat. Sports' premier uniform-focused blog, www.uniwatchblog.com, reports that Rogers wears a different cap than that of his teammates. His cap has a dark-colored underbill, rather than the standard gray. Detroit's closer Todd Jones said that Rogers has just been doing the same thing he's always done on the mound. No, he isn't. Prior to this year, Rogers had a career post-season ERA over 8.00. Now he's half a game away from breaking the all-time scoreless innings record in the post-season. If all we did was throw out the disputed first inning of Sunday's game, we still would have ourselves a tie game at 1-1 in Game 2. That first inning made the difference in the game, and for that inning, our pitcher had clean hands and theirs didn't.

And why the hell is Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa saying, "It's not important to talk about. He pitched very well"? That's not what his players were saying until he ordered them to stop talking publicly on the subject. What possible reason would LaRussa have for not having raced onto the field and demanding Rogers' ejection during that half inning? Instead, he waited for the third out, giving Rogers a chance to get Zestfully clean. LaRussa is a guy who's always looking for an edge. He's a guy who's always jockeying for a psychological advantage. At the very least, he could have gotten inside Rogers' head. In Tony's minor defense, it's only his job to bring the issue to the umpires' attention. After that, justice should be swift and merciless regardless of whether anyone on the Cardinals' side is pushing hard for punishment.

One of LaRussa's predecessors, Whitey Herzog, was crucified for doing just the opposite. His post-season teams were accused of letting bad calls and home field malfeasance become their undoing in two different World Series. Herzog said later in his book that his only regret about the 1985 World Series was that he didn't pull his team off the field after umpire Don Denkinger's infamous blown call. In retrospect, it probably didn't help when Herzog said after '85's Game 6 that his team shouldn't even have to show up for a Game 7, but at least he was fighting for everything he thought the Cardinals and their fans deserved. He didn't give a damn how he looked or sounded. If it ever comes out that LaRussa was hushing up his players or scaling back justifiable belligerence because he wanted to spare embarassment for the Tigers' manager, who happens to be one of his best friends, his days are over in St. Louis. I will do an Ozzie Smith and walk away myself, to return only upon LaRussa's departure, and I won't be the only one.

Collectively, members of the print media have expressed significant skepticism, even anger, over the umpires, players, and managers' contradicting accounts of this bizarre episode, but nothing like one would expect from a group of reporters obsessed for two years with rooting out cheaters, and quick to pass critical judgment on the league's home run heroes, often with much less visual evidence at their disposal than we have here, and upon players with much shorter rap sheets than Kenny Rogers. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch's chief steroid hunter, Bryan Burwell, today called the rule against intentionally "doctoring" the ball "a technicality," and the Detroit Free Press' Mitch Albom attempted to kill the story deader than his beloved mentor, saying that the media was "acting as if it had discovered a weapon of mass destruction, " and determining that "Rogers could have had a Slinky attached to the ball the way he was pitching."

We will yet get to the bottom of this story, which stands to be a true black eye for baseball. The Tigers will most likely need Rogers on the mound a second time in the Series, and this story becomes one much like the Mark Foley scandal in Congress-- that is, one that even the people who don't normally pay attention to the action can understand. Rogers' story fits too perfectly into that of a man who sold his soul to reverse a dismal post-season record.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

A letter of apology from a Cardinals fan

Dear national and New York sports media,

I am truly sorry that your beloved Mets and Yankees are not participating in this year's World Series. Only three weeks ago, it must have looked like a matter of simple destiny that both teams would meet in what you jokingly refer to as a "true" Fall Classic, one that involves at least one team from the Big Apple.

It took some audacity for the Tigers and these arrogant Cardinals to deny a potential matchup of the Yanks and Mets. You were ready to make household names out of Jose Reyes, that dugout dancing machine who makes you feel oh-so-young again watching him play with such exuberance, and Robinson Cano, the final piece of a new 21st Century "Murderers' Row" in the Bronx. It must be so embarrassing now to see their post-season positions filled by a powerless little twerp like David Eckstein, who probably didn't even dance on camera at his own wedding, and a work-a-day grunt like Placido Polanco in Detroit.

And why can't America see what a prick that Albert Pujols is? I agree with you, Bill Simmons, that Pujols has taken over the mantle from Barry Bonds as the biggest jerk in the league. Well... except for the fact that he's beloved by his teammates. Albert does hate it when you camp out in his locker, and he insulted Tom Glavine to help fire up his teammates, then had the audacity to homer off Glavine in the pitcher's next start, which I thought was going to make for some big headlines. But I had forgotten the fact that it was the only run Pujols drove in in the entire NLCS. And who cares if that's only because he was walked five of the six times he batted with runners in scoring position, still managed to carry a .315 batting average in the series, and scored big runs in St. Louis' wins in Games 2 and 5.

It must be particularly humbling to see your teams lose to pitchers like Kenny Rogers, Jeff Weaver and Braden Looper. Although they're each respected hurlers west of the Hudson River, they made for convenient scapegoats for the failures of their higher-salaried teammates when they played in New York. Do we really have to watch Rogers and Weaver go head-to-head Sunday night in Game 2 of the World Series? NBC doesn't even have the decency to put a Giants or Jets game on opposite the telecast.

I agree with ESPN's Phil Rogers, who on Friday called Jeff Suppan the "best forgettable pitcher in the majors." Although if Jeff wins one more Game 7 during his career, he might have to be upgraded to "worst memorable." That took some balls for him to stop giving up hits after the first inning Thursday night, and to turn Endy Chavez's remarkable catch for the Mets into a post-season footnote by getting the outfielder to pop out with the bases loaded and two out in the bottom of the same inning. Like you, I'm just going to forget the last half inning ever happened and rejoice in that great defensive moment for Chavez and the Mets. That was the best catch in New York City-- and therefore, post-season-- history since Willie Mays great catch at the Polo Grounds in '54, although I'm remembering that the Cardinals' Willie McGee robbed a home run in 1982, and he also did it with his back to the diamond and in the World Series, and also hit two home runs himself in the same game. But then he made his spectacular catch, not in Yankee Stadium or Shea Stadium, but in Milwaukee, so fuck it.

I really thought it was the Mets' year myself. They had been magical since April. I'm not sure what in particular had been magical about them, but they did win 97 games. Of course, that's at least three fewer than the Cardinals won each of the last two years and I don't remember any of you calling those seasons magical. They were hardly noticed.

This year, the Cards won only 83 games, which I guess is what prompted FOX's website on Friday to post a picture on their home page of Tony LaRussa being drenched with Champagne under the heading "The Worst Ever?" I almost forgot that it was the 1973 Mets who actually have the distinction of posting the worst regular season record of any World Series team in history at 82-80, and I hate to have to correct you, the anonymous AP writer in all the newspapers this morning, but just because you heard someone on TV say the Cardinals won only 83 games this year, it's wrong to assume that they lost 79. They actually had a rain out that was never made up so the loss total was only 78. If they'd have lost just one more game then maybe the Mets would be in the World Series, but now I'm rubbing it in.

Your Mets did suffer from key injuries to pitchers Pedro Martinez and Orlando Hernandez, but maybe you've also heard the names "Mark Mulder" and "Jason Isringhausen." Those were the Cardinals' All-Star pitchers who were injured and unable to participate in this year's post-season. Their injuries were so severe that they couldn't even play through them heroically like their banged-up teammates David Eckstein, Jim Edmonds, Albert Pujols, and Scott Rolen, who collectively have had more needles in them this past month then Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have had during their entire careers.

New York's baseball fans and sports media deserved better than they got this year. Mets fans were particularly classy Wednesday and Thursday nights in the way that they booed every Cardinals batter that was announced at Shea Stadium-- even Preston Wilson, the son of Mets great Mookie Wilson. Hopefully, one of your two favorite teams will be able to deliver for you next year the World Championship trophy you so richly deserved in 2006. That's why I'm willing to offer those New York teams a little friendly and unsolicited advice on how they might better succeed in the '07 baseball campaign:

Try spending a little more money.


(Signed, but not notarized)
Chris Moeller
25 year Cardinals fan
Des Moines, IA
10/21/06

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Better luck next time, FOX. Cardinals win pennant, Mets go home

"It's a real honor to meet you, Mr. (Henry) Ford, but I hate to tell you-- me 'n Paul are plannin' to make pussy cats outta yer Tigers." -- Cardinals legend Dizzy Dean, October 1934

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What a beautiful baseball game. What a marvelous sport. Boy, is this Michelob Golden Light going down smooth.

My only regret of the evening is that I couldn't see the last three innings of the game. My attempts to kiss Jeff Suppan through the television after he worked out of that potentially-devastating sixth inning left the broadcast images severely distorted.

Look out Detroit. The Birds are on their way!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Get your rest

There are those big nights in the life of your baseball team. Shaquille O'Neal big. Moeller TV Festival big.

On Wednesday night, the St. Louis Cardinals will have the reigning Cy Young Award winner take the mound on their behalf, owning the highest winning percentage of any hurler in the 130 year history of their franchise. The club will be playing a game broadcast on prime-time network television in a stadium located within the nation's largest city and media center. One of the great baseball players of all-time will be wearing their uniform and patrolling first base in what we can only guess would have to be the prime of his career, while the third-winningest manager in the sport's history calls the shots from their dugout. One of the team's local broadcasters, along with one of their former championship players, will be describing the action on television for a coast-to-coast audience (and beyond) while the team attempts to win the championship of the world's oldest professional baseball league for a record-tying 17th time.

This will be one of those big nights.

Vote Denise O'Brien

There will be just one political endorsement on the blog this fall. A remarkable candidate is running for the office of Agriculture Secretary in Iowa. Denise O'Brien of Atlantic, Iowa is an organic farmer, an outspoken advocate for sustainable land use and renewable energy, and a former delegate to the United Nations on behalf of family farms. As an inductee of the Iowa Women's Hall of Fame, past president of the National Family Farm Coalition, and current head of the Women, Food, and Agriculture Network, she's been a noted critic of the corporate polluters who prey on our state's quality of life.

The biggest plus of O'Brien's candidacy, for me, is her support of greater agricultural diversity in the state. Iowa has long been locked in an industrial farming cycle of two-crop, corn and soybeans production that has robbed our local communities of immeasurable economic opportunity and much of their natural resource. She also supports community zoning control over the large-scale corporate hog lots that have been polluting our air and water over the last two decades.

The Iowa Farm Bureau Federation, a once-great advocacy group whose recent leaders have climbed in bed with the state's politically-powerful absentee landholders and polluters, is so afraid of O'Brien that its president took the unprecedented step of mailing a funding solicitation letter to its members on behalf of her opponent. Of course, O'Brien, a member of the Farm Bureau herself, did not receive the letter.

The Federation's leadership knows Denise O'Brien will not be their puppet in the state legislature, where they have long held the strings and frequently betrayed their rank and file. O'Brien would take back the power for the families of our rural communities ravaged by greed and a short-sided business approach. Join me in voting for Denise O'Brien for Secretary of Agriculture November 7th, and also writing in her name for governor.

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The Cardinals' most exciting player since Ozzie Smith suits up for possibly the last time tonight at Busch Stadium. If these are destined to be our final images, thanks for the the thrills, Jimmy. And thanks for leaving it all on the field.

Monday, October 16, 2006

The chide of the Yankees

Baseball still resonates like no other American sport and few other cultural enterprises. A conservative like George Will can cast an eye towards the 2006 New York Yankees and see disproved in them "the efficacy of pitching large sums (of money) at social problems," and the damaging effects of the "entitlement mentality bred by the welfare state." Whereas, it's evident to a wide-eyed radical like me that the '06 Yankees represent instead the abject and fundamental failure of putting commerce before human chemistry, and the danger of laying all of one's dreams at the feet of the capitalist system.

Food for thought. Chow down.

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Anarchists, vagrants, and burglars, oh my! If you're in New York City this week enjoying some of that old fashioned National League playoff baseball, or just seeking some pre-Halloween chills in Manhattan, you'll want to check out a rather intriguing art exhibit I found profiled. Also coming to a bookstore near you, it's "Least Wanted: A Century of American Mugshots." Enjoy the slide show at the link, and see if you can tell the characters in this particular (and literal) Rogue's Gallery from the social pariahs found at the backend of the Cardinals' and Mets' starting pitching rotations.
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Cinco de Moeller

The world's oldest television festival is coming back for another encore. The 5th Annual Moeller TV Festival will be held in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, December 9th and 10th. New venue, same Moeller Attitude!

RSVP immediately to Chris at 515-249-3457. You won't want to miss: an essential David Letterman moment, "Seinfeld's" most infamous episode, or episodes from at least four different shows never before featured at a festival of this type.

The sub sandwiches will be there. The entertaining shows will be there. Your favorites from the CM Blog, and other dignitaries, will be there. The promise of live improv comedy (and not just on television) will be there. The comment box will be there. The spirit of Don Knotts and Johnny Carson will be there. Will you be there?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

NLCS Preview: Not an annual feature (or is it?!)

-- The Cardinals return to the National League Championship Series for the third consecutive year, and the CM Blog is there. Not literally, of course. I have responsibilities. I can't just leave my job and a small child at home and run around the Eastern seaboard and the lower Midwest, spending my life savings, watching all the baseball games I can, and drinking a case of Bud Select for every game the Cardinals win.

But Alex Rodriguez can. He has the rest of the month off.


-- It's great to be the underdog in the Championship Series for once. It's amazing how relaxed I am when my expectations are so low. Of course, the more I hear about the John Maines, Steve Trachsels, and Oliver Perezez in the Mets starting rotation, the more confident I get. (First prediction: We'll hear a lot this series about the injuries to the Mets' Pedro Martinez and Orlando Hernandez, and not much about the injuries to the Cards' Mark Mulder and Jason Isringhasuen.) The '06 Cardinals are not the '04 or '05 Cardinals, but Glavine, Maines, and Trachsel are not Oswalt, Clemens, and Pettitte.


-- At this point, any predictions about the Mets and Cardinals series from baseball's ESPN intelligentsia is meaningless. Eighteen of 19 commentators on their website picked the Padres to beat St. Louis so it's all endarounds and BS from here on.


-- Darryl Strawberry will be throwing out the ceremonial first pitch between stints in rehab tomorrow night at Shea Stadium.


-- On the New York Daily News website today, I counted 11 stories about the Yankees and one about the Mets. That respect is just rolling in.


-- I have no way of linking to it now, but that same website had a unique juxtaposition of picture and headline this morning. Their Kim Jung Il story carried the headline, "Despot Going Ballistic," but above it was a picture of George Steinbrenner talking on his cell phone. Maybe George saw the irony in that before deciding to retain Joe Torre as manager for another season.


-- I could care less about Torre at this point. The former Cardinals MVP and manager sold his soul long ago. It was bad enough he whored himself out to Steinbrenner to begin with, but then, throughout a run of 10 Division Championships and a Wild Card berth in 11 years, plus 5 pennants and 4 World Championships, he still allows his coaches to be insulted (Don Zimmer), and fired (Mel Stottlemyre) by the boss, and stands by helplessly for the decision on his own fate each year. Jesus, have the fortitude to walk away before you get axed. If you can't do it with that record, when can you? There are plenty of good managerial jobs out there, including an opportunity to prove you can win a championship without a payroll large enough for four teams.


-- Oakland, Detroit, New York, and St. Louis. If murder rates count for anything, the Big Apple is the sissy-est city left in the playoffs.


-- I hope you get Fox Sports Midwest where you live so you could have seen the Cards' post-game locker room celebration Sunday night. John Rodriguez busted out the new classic line, "I'm just here for the Bud Light."


-- I'm feeling very confident. Cards in three.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Great Buck O'Neil

I saw Buck O'Neil in person a couple times. The 94-year-old veteran of the Negro Leagues-- and quite possibly baseball's greatest ambassador for the last 12 years-- was a common sight at Kauffman Stadium in his hometown of Kansas City, and my visits there have tended to coincide with Negro Leagues ceremonies and remembrances on the field. (Probably, this is because the Royals schedule these to coincide with games against the Cardinals, when they draw their largest crowds. I see all of the Royals' Negro Leagues tributes and 1985 World Series anniversaries.) A couple years ago, O'Neil was on the diamond, catching the ceremonial first pitch rolled to home plate by another Negro Leagues great, 101-year-old Ted "Double Duty" Radcliffe. But even without Radcliffe as the control group, O'Neil was spry and energetic in his early 90s.

A former batting champion and manager, O'Neill has been the greatest storyteller of the game for the last decade, in an era when the art of old storytelling and attention span baseball has too often otherwise been brushed aside for a new kind of game with "FOX Attitude." He stole the show in Ken Burns' 1994 PBS epic miniseries "Baseball," educating much of contemporary white and black America for the first time on the likes of Cool Papa Bell, Josh Gibson, Rube Foster, Oscar Charleston, and Satchel Paige, and recounting the extraordinary triumph of Jackie Robinson. O'Neil then began popping up on late night talk shows to tell his stories, and raise awareness and donations for the Negro Leagues Museum that he made a reality in Kansas City.

Many seamheads were furious when O'Neil was not inducted into the Hall of Fame this past year, along with 17 other greats of the old Negro Leagues (missing induction by only one vote,) but O'Neil appeared in Cooperstown to speak on behalf of those players (none of the 17 were still living) and he never showed a hint of anger or resentment, just as he never publicly expressed bitterness about having been excluded from the Major Leagues as a player. (His autobiography was entitled, "I Was Right On Time.")

His mission was never to bring attention to himself anyway. I find it strange now that I know so little about his career, actually, considering how visible he has been. As a player, manager, coach, and scout, his mission was always to compete and entertain. During his "retirement," it was to educate and enlighten the public, to bring long-denied glory, not to himself, but to his former teammates and opponents, and to spread as much love and spirit as he could in his short time. He died last night of exhaustion.

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My favorite Buck O'Neil anecdote is the story of how Satchel Paige gave him his nickname:

"Well, he called me Nancy because of something that happened once. We were up on an Indian reservation in North Dakota and Satchel met an Indian maiden there, and her name was Nancy. So Satchel invited Nancy to come to Chicago to see him. He didn't know that Lahoma, who was going to be his wife, was coming to Chicago. So Nancy got there and she was up in Satchel's room, naturally. And we were down in the restaurant and here comes Lahoma up in a cab. So I go up to Satchel's room, and say, 'Lahoma's downstairs,' He says, 'Okay. Do something with Nancy.'

"I was in a room next to Satchel, so I got a room right next to me for Nancy. So, after Satchel got Lahoma bedded down that night, he wanted to say something to Nancy. So he got up and was knocking on the door to Nancy's room. He was knocking and saying, 'Nancy, Nancy, Nancy.' Now, Lahoma woke up and came to her door. And I heard Lahoma, so I rushed out of the door and said, 'Here I am, Satchel.' And he said, 'Oh, Nancy, there you are. I've been looking for you.' So, ever since then, I've been Nancy."

Friday, October 06, 2006

Moeller TV Listings 10/6/06

I can't officially endorse watching Fox's horrendous pre-game baseball show, but you might want to tune in tonight long enough to see the Four Tops sing the National Anthem at the first playoff game played in Detroit since 1987. Fox says the game starts at 7:05 central, but don't be fooled. It won't start until after 7:15. And hopefully, they won't skip the telecast of the anthem in favor of three minutes of network promotion.

9:32pm Mea Culpa: The game's on ESPN. My bad. But should you really be depending on me for your television listings, anyway?

All that ultimately matters is that the Yankees lose.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Red Alert: Cards defying all expectations!

Cards go up two games to none on Padres!

Don't even think about messing with the pitching combination of Jeff Weaver, Randy Flores, Josh Kinney, Tyler Johnson, and Adam Wainwright!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Pertinent questions 10/4/06

-- Will the FBI be allowed to use recently approved detainee interrogation techniques on the Republican House leaders in their Mark Foley congressional page investigation?


-- Are these "mistakes" a special 10th Anniversary present from Fox News to its most loyal viewers?


-- Are you wondering now, like I am, how our representatives in Congress had the balls to question Mark McGwire's qualifications as a role model for children?


-- Maf54: (7:25:25): xxxx, do you like movies about gladiators?


-- With the National League pennant still up for grabs for another two weeks, do you think any of its MVP voters are regretting having voted for the Phillies' Ryan Howard, who's at home watching the biggest games on television, over Albert Pujols, who's still propelling his team to victory and adding to his Major League record season total of game-winning home runs?


-- Do you suppose there's any truth to the historic speculation that Edison invented the light bulb so that TV executives could air Yankees playoff games in prime-time?


-- Did you see that play today in the Mets/Dodgers game in which two Dodgers got tagged out at home plate on the same play? (You probably didn't. All National League playoff games are played when you're at work.) How bad does the second baserunner have to be in that situation? The only other time I've seen the same thing happen was in the mid-1980s when White Sox catcher Carlton Fisk tagged out two Yankees on the same throw from the outfield. It turned out then that the trail runner, Dale Berra, was high on coke. Today, the trail runner was former Cardinal space cadet J.D. Drew. Classic.


-- Do you think a movie like "Cabin Boy" could ever enjoy a "Scarface"-like cult revival? The central theme is the same-- trying to avoid honest work. I think I'm most looking forward to the licensed video game.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Moeller TV Listings 10/3/06

It's "Newsradio" night on the late night talk shows. I count four vets of the old NBC and Paul Simms sitcom on tonight's agendas, though the topic of "Newsradio" is unlikely to come up on any of them: Dennis Miller is on The Daily Show at 10pm central, Andy Dick is on Letterman at 10:35, and Maura Tierney and David Cross are both on with Craig Ferguson at 11:35. Grab a 40 of Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor and enjoy.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Greatest Stories Badly Sold

We're at a very low ebb in the way that Major League Baseball is currently covered in the sports media. Game recap coverage is particularly bad in the electronic arena. Anyone who watches a ballgame from first pitch to last, either in person, on television, or on radio, and then turns to watch highlights of that game on the evening's "Sportscenter" knows that the highlights are rarely reflective of the drama. While the outcome of a particular game nearly always hinges on the batter-by-batter narrative of a key inning or two, ESPN typically summarizes the action by piecing together a string of clips of the home runs that were hit. Often, of course, there's a necessary overlap, but the current "dumbing-down" of the sport's nightly action is doing a terrible disservice to the economic health of the game.

Professional basketball is covered in the same lazy fashion, but what other choice do the producers have in that case? The nature of hoops is that every game virtually mirrors the last until roughly that 7/8ths mark when the most likely victor tends to emerge. The amount of scoring is so vast that all an editor can really do is cobble together clips of a couple of baskets scored by the leading scorer in the game and then wrap with the key possessions in the final two minutes.

Baseball broadcasters and journalists are in a time warp when it comes to chronicling the game's pennant races. This is due either to negligence or an unholy pact with Major League Baseball's corporate offices to sugarcoat the damage done to the integrity of the game. The Wild Card playoff system continues to be promoted as if it does nothing but enhance the excitement and popularity of the game, though the common arguments in its favor often lack even basic logic. First, if there's a particularly exciting game in the first round of playoffs, some baffoon on television will tell us that the Wild Card system is to thank for setting up the great action, but you're going to have exciting ballgames played regardless. The drama of club elimination would only shift elsewhere.

The Wild Card system gets credit for keeping more teams in the running for the post-season longer, but it's just as often simultaneously polluting the division races. Ooh, we're told, seven teams still have a shot at the Wild Card at this relatively late date. Of course they do. Most teams are statistically likely to finish within five games on either side of .500. That's not exciting. It's a fetish for mediocrity. Six teams, or 20 percent of the entire league, will win their division each year. Champions of the four-team American League West spray champaign in their clubhouse one night each September, but all that that particular team has accomplished is eliminated three teams from World Series contention.

You won't hear anyone else talking about it, but what did the Wild Card race actually generate this year in either league that was positive? The only club out of 30 that had its season significantly extended by the format was the Philadelphia Phillies.

And now what did the Wild Card system cost us? It cost us the opportunity to see three division races decided on the last day of the year. Baseball's "yes-men" tried to convince us that there were great races for the AL Central and the NL West flags, but the Tigers and Twins both knew they were in the post-season already after the White Sox faded, and the Dodgers and Padres only had to outlast the Phillies in the Wild Card to both make it in. How big would that blown umpires' call on the bases have been Sunday in San Diego if the game had actually meant something other than determining which team would start the playoffs in New York against the Mets and which team would begin their marathon playoff season at home against the Cardinals? And if baseball still gave us only four divisions (each with 7 or 8 teams,) the stakes on Sunday would have been that much higher because the prize would have been a place in the Championship Series rather than just a Division Series. The system's become so damned convoluted that it took me half an hour to explain the National League playoff situation on Sunday to a friend, and this friend aced her SATs once upon a time. How are all those murky potential playoff scenarios good for the game's marketability?

An ESPN talking-head stated last night that the Cardinals had very little going for them in the pending post-season, in essence because they've played so badly during the last two weeks of the year. But what sport has this guy been watching for the last decade? Aside from the fact that statisticians say September performance has little or no bearing on October success, four Wild Cards have now won the World Series. Even though 20 percent of league teams now win their division every year, only one team in that 20 percent has won the World Series since 2001.

The Cardinals were 13 1/2 games worse than the Mets this year, yet the Mets' only reward for that advantage is an extra home game in each round of the playoffs. The Cardinals' best starting pitcher will still be able to start two of the team's first four playoff games on full rest against a team they've beaten all six times in post-season contests. The Mets' best starting pitcher will be fortunate to pitch again before June. If this forgettable and often embarassing Cardinals team advances past the first playoff round, they'll face either the short-armed Mets, or have home-field advantage against a Dodgers team they beat all seven times in the regular season. Is that justice for a team that won only 83 of 161 games during the season?

Rooting for mediocrity isn't fun. Neither is watching 85-win teams duke it in the World Series while 95-win clubs watch from the sidelines, and neither is being worn out by all of the televised post-season action before Game 1 of the Fall Classic even arrives. The commissioner and his waterboys will point to added television revenue for the extra round of playoffs when deeming their flawed system a success, but would the National Football League score a more lucrative deal if it replaced its "event" championship with a best-of-seven? Point being-- maybe it's this very dillution of the late season action that has caused World Series TV ratings to plummet to their recent all-time lows. That's something the game's commentators should at least be talking about. Letting more participants call themselves winners might work well in the middle-school art competition, but this our National Pastime here. Let's focus on the best of the best.