The Chris Moeller Archives

The horror of Jim Edmonds in a Chicago Cubs uniform

It is now for the Cubs fans to construct clever haikus in which to sing the praises of veteran slugger Jim Edmonds. The starting centerfielder for the rival Cardinals from 2000 to 2007, a man who sports tattoos of both the late Darryl Kile and the late Josh Hancock on his person, has caused many Redbird rooters to cry "Benedict Arnold" by signing a contract to finish out this season and possibly his career on Chicago's North Side. Likewise, so many Cubs fans have been screaming bloody murder over the marriage of Edmonds and the Small Bears, you would think the team had decided to bring back LaTroy Hawkins.

I am not one who shares the Cards fans' sentiment, at least from the perspective of betrayal. I love James Patrick in the unconditional way that I love Willie McGee, Busch Bavarian Beer, or the International Bowling Hall of Fame and Museum. The moment the Cards' front office dealt Jimmy to San Diego in December, the franchise ceased having a say in how he makes a living or attempts to apply the finishing touches to his distinguished career. If a woman dumps you, she doesn't then get a say in whom you pursue next in your romantic life, and she shouldn't be surprised when it winds up being her sister. Time has a way of healing, anyway, such as the previous loyalty-shifting by the likes of Dizzy Dean or Gary Gaetti.

But I can't root for Edmonds in a Cubs uniform. I'm hoping that the oft-injured 37-year-old has as little left in the tank as both the Cardinals and the Padres believe. I could even live with the prospect of "Hollywood Jimmy" putting up solid offensive numbers and regaining his once-sleek footing in the outfield grasses of the National League that he might exit his career with grace, but I cannot live with Jim becoming worshipped, or claimed as one of their own, by the fickle and villainous cretins of the Wrigley Field bleachers. No, that, I'm afraid, would never do.

What works best is if Edmonds goes into the tank and the Cubs faithful are handed still another reason to despise a man who clubbed 17 home runs in their park while wearing 'the birds' across his chest. Cubs fans-- increasingly-grumpy over the last few years-- are already pissed that the signing of Edmonds instigated the demotion of 23-year-old centerfield prospect Felix Pie (who, like the once highly-touted Corey Patterson before him, already held the dubious distinction of being issued Lou Brock's old uniform number (20) with the Cubs).

I hope for the best, but fear the worst. The Sun-Times Jay Mariotti thinks the Cubs have nothing to lose by signing the veteran Edmonds for the relatively-paltry sum of $289,000, "For all the grieving over the demotion of (Pie), there simply is too much at stake to be patient with another 'can't-miss, five-tool prospect' who has had sufficient opportunity to prove he can't hit. Twenty-three strikeouts in 63 at-bats spells downtown Des Moines to me."

That assessment of the deal neatly summarizes, I think, the... Hey! I live there.

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In a recent study, people in Japan were polled to find out which person they wished were their boss. The overwhelming winner was an American baseball manager named Bobby Valentine.

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Maybe the Yankees shouldn't have been so quick to release Billy Crystal.

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The New Yorker magazine and Pulitzer Prize-winning author David Remnick have come up with a list of the 100 essential jazz albums of all-time.

posted by CM @ 11:37 AM