Thursday, September 21, 2006

Pep rally

I clicked on an on-line football headline today that read, "President Bush offers advice to beleaguered Tampa QB." I asked myself-- what does George W. Bush know about playing quarterback in the NFL? Turns out the sum of the President's advice to the Buccaneers' punch-drunk Chris Simms was "Never give up."

Never give up? Was that the best hollow platitude Bush could muster at the fundraiser at Tampa's Raymond James Stadium? And does it really amount to a newsworthy anecdote? "Never give up" is no more meaningful advice to a football player than "Stay the course" is a military strategy.

The expression is about as compelling as this chestnut laid on us today by Yankees owner George Steinbrenner-- "I hate to lose. To lose is a failure in my book." No shit losing is a failure.
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Still skirt-chasing: Former President Clinton, to paraphrase Senator Thomas Jordan in "The Manchurian Candidate," could not do more damage to the Democratic party if he were a paid Republican agent. While the progressive leadership of his party is busting tail to sell voters an alternative to a president with a 37 percent approval rating seven weeks before a mid-term election, Bill's playing kissy-face with the president's wife-- inviting her to deliver the keynote address at his Global Initiative Conference, and by extension then, providing cover for the White House on key global diplomatic differences between the two parties. Meanwhile, his new best buddy (behind George H.W. Bush,) and the latest chief Hillary fundraiser, Rupert Murdoch, announced this week his plans for a new Fox TV network aimed at organizing evangelicals so they can bolster their ever-so-calculated and tax-free assault on Democrats. The "Bush/Clinton" cabal must be stopped before it threatens the "Bush/House of Saud" cabal for world domination.

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Here's an electoral strategy I can get behind: White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is a stark-mad lunatic, but he's stumbled upon a slick idea over how to help his team's thirdbaseman, Joe Crede, win that position's Gold Glove award in the American League, a prize selected by the pool of circuit field managers. Guillen's not allowed to vote for his own man so he's planning to vote for the worst player in the field and avoid the risk of helping someone deserving win the award. He even told us who he believes that worst player is-- "What's the guy that plays for Minnesota, the Latino guy? [Tony] Batista? I will vote for him just so [Oakland's Eric] Chavez doesn't win."

This is the same strategy I employ in All-Star voting. I vote for all Mariners and Royals in the American League to help the Nationals win. Who cares about seeing Joe Mauer in mid-summer's spotlight when you can see... John Buck?

2 Comments:

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

This afternoon on the Dan Patrick Show on ESPN radio, the guest was one of their baseball columnists (Jayson Stark maybe?) who was telling anecdotes about how he's witnessed the baseball award voting processes up close on different occasions.

For example, a half dozen managers, coaches, reporters and other observers will be sitting in a room and someone asks, "Who's a good fielder among AL first basemen?" Then someone says, "Rafael Palmeiro's pretty good", then they ALL write down Palmeiro's name on their Gold Glove ballot. Don't be fooled that these people take the time to look over all the candidates.

A couple years ago, by the way, Palmeiro won a Gold Glove after playing only 38 games at first base.

Baseball puts way too much emphasis on these capricious achievements and this is how you end up with Hall of Fame plaques that mention MVP awards, Cy Youngs, Gold Gloves, and All Star appearances, and yet few of them have anything as indisputable as: "Had more hits than anyone in history".

 
At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When you get to the bigs all they tell you is "don't bet on baseball, don't bet on baseball, don't bet on baseball". Pete chose to bet. What sociopathic behavior. I loved to watch Pete back in the day. Pete just should walk away and just be quiet. Pete could be an anti-hero or something other than the goofball he has become.

 

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