Katrina and the Waves
It's a busy night with both laundry and a trip to the grocery store. (That's a week's activity for some elderly people.) But here are a couple favorite moments from today's Hurricane Katrina television coverage:FOX weather chick: "The situation in New Orleans has the potential to be horrific."
Geraldo Rivera: "Would you say it could be hell?"
Weather chick: "Uh, yes, I guess so."
Rivera: "So we have hell and high water."
Weather chick: "Oh, yes... ha, ha."
Shepard Smith in New Orleans: "You're live on FOX News Channel. What are you doing?"
Man: "Walking my dog."
Smith: "Why are you still here? I'm just curious."
Man: "None of your fucking business."
Smith: "Oh, that was a good answer, wasn't it? That was live on international television. Thanks so much for that. You know we apologize."
---
From the other end of the genius spectrum-- a snippet from the Des Moines Register's new humor columnist, Ken Fuson. His piece today marked the beginning of the football season:
YOUR TEAM chokes.
MY TEAM tries too hard.
YOUR TEAM has cheap-shot artists.
MY TEAM has hard hitters.
YOUR TEAM'S players can't spell their own name.
MY TEAM'S players have learning disabilities.
YOUR TEAM abuses steroids.
MY TEAM pumps iron.
YOUR TEAM'S coach cheats.
MY TEAM'S coach does what it takes to win.
YOUR TEAM has dumb jocks.
MY TEAM has student-athletes.
YOUR TEAM gets all the ref's calls.
MY TEAM finally catches a break.
YOUR TEAM has dirty players
MY TEAM has colorful characters.
YOUR TEAM'S coach plays felons.
MY TEAM'S coach believes in second chances.
YOUR TEAM'S fans are drunks.
MY TEAM'S fans are rowdy.
YOUR TEAM pays its players.
MY TEAM helps players find summer jobs.
YOUR TEAM'S announcer is a homer.
MY TEAM'S announcer is the voice of the fans.
YOUR TEAM runs up the score.
MY TEAM plays all four quarters.
YOUR TEAM hires call girls for recruits.
MY TEAM enlists volunteer campus "hosts."
YOUR TEAM'S players are natural athletes.
MY TEAM'S players are all heart.
YOUR TEAM has fat cat boosters.
MY TEAM has loyal supporters.
YOUR TEAM has no chance to win the Super Bowl.
YOUR TEAM is the Minnesota Vikings.
posted by CM @ 8:23 PM
2 Comments:
What are you doing watching Fox News anyway? TA
I surf during the commercials of ESPN Poker.
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