Gene and Roger
The first issue of The Chicagoan is available for download (I'm sure you can find it) and Slate has an excerpt from the 25,000 word oral history therein of "Siskel & Ebert." And by "Siskel & Ebert," I mean "At the Movies" or "Sneak Previews." You know-- the old movie show with the bald guy and the fat guy that argue all the time. Great show.
That reminds me of a classic Dave Foley monologue on "Newsradio." Jimmy James has fallen into a coma, and Dave is talking to him as he sleeps, to lift the patient's spirits and to get some fatherly advice:
I sure wish you were awake right now because I.. because I'm thoroughly confused, and usually when I'm confused, you're the one I go to. Generally speaking, you manage to confuse me even further. But somehow it always helps me to figure out what I should do.
Um, well, here's the situation as I understand it.. Lisa has decided she wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married. Now I know if you were awake, you would probably say something like 'Well son, why milk the cow when you've got a fridge full of steaks?' And I would probably say, 'That makes absolutely no sense, sir.' And then I'm sure you would say, 'Well, it sure sounded like it made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown.' And I would be forced to say, 'Sir, Chuck Connors was not in the movie Chinatown.' And I'm sure you would come back with 'Well Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation, I would have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job.' And I would say, 'Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two guys.' And I'm sure you would then come back with, 'Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him.'
A timeless piece of comedy.
Anyway, check out the S&E excerpt here. It's written, in essence, by friends and colleagues from the show. Says executive producer Joe Antelo of the two hosts, "Do you know how long it initially took us to produce At the Movies? Six hours! They would argue incessantly. If Roger talked for four minutes of a six-minute segment, Gene would holler, “That’s not right!” The same thing happened whenever Gene would talk longer than Roger. They demanded that the other didn’t get one more second of screentime."
But of course, they genuinely loved each other, and that love is in full bloom in this glorious, uncensored video of Siskel and Ebert recording a promo for their show in 1987. "Siskel & Ebert" has been off the air since Gene Siskel's death in 1999. Today, movies are shit. Coincidence?
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Gene Simmons of KISS is dissing Rihanna in advance of his band's summer tour with Motley Crue: "We're sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them. No fake bullshit. Leave that to Rihanna, Shmianna, and anyone else that ends their name with an 'a.'"
Motley Crue's Tommy Lee added even more peppery speech: "No disrespect to Rihanna, she's a great singer, but we're in a slump for some shit that has some personality and appeal beyond a bunch of pop stuff that's floating around out there. I'm glad (Simmons) said that actually because I don't think I can bear watching another fucking award show that is just a little bit better than 'American Idol.' It's fucking pathetic to watch people go out and fucking karaoke with a bunch of lights and video. It's all completely watered down."
Hell yeah. Fuckin' A, fellas. That's called sarcasm.
A wise man named Fred Flintstone once said, "There are three types of songs-- happy songs, sad songs, and songs for teenagers who like things like 'Tweedle-Dee-Dee.'" Under which category do Simmons and Lee think their bands' songs belong?
posted by CM @ 5:30 PM
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