The Chris Moeller Archives

My four favorite Oscar moments:

1) Alexander Payne and "Community"'s Jim Rash ("Dean you later") both being given a statuette for their collaborative script adaptation of "The Descendants."

2) Jennifer Lopez's dress cut in front almost to her belly button. I like how she and Cameron Diaz quoted Edith Head on stage-- "(a dress) should be tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady"-- while Lopez was wearing this.

3) The camera cutaway to the cringed look on Steven Spielberg's face when the Iranian director accepted his Oscar for Best Foreign Film, saying, "At a time of talk of war, intimidation and aggression is exchanged between politicians, the name of their country, Iran, is spoken here through her glorious culture, a rich and ancient culture that has been hidden under the heavy dust of politics. I proudly offer this award to the people of my country, the people who respect all cultures and civilizations and despise hostility and resentment."

4) Chris Rock being awesome. Rock, introducing the award for Best Animated Film, referenced his own experience working in the genre, "If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince... If you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra."

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Firing shots over patriotism and birth control, this is how the Republican Party ends-- not with a whimper, but with a bang. Let's go to our sideline reporter Matt Taibbi, who has an update on the self-destruction, now late in the second half of the game. Matt...

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Mitt Romney, a man who wears magic Mormon underwear to bed, thinks drug testing welfare recipients is a great idea. I agree. Now I'm assuming that he wants to start with bankers and stockholders that get a federal bailout...

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The "class war" exists. And it's at least as old as the first moat.

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I have never watched a single piece of television programming on the USA cable network. Not a movie. Not five minutes of a movie. Not an episode of a show, or part of an episode of a show. Not in 30 years. It hasn't been on purpose. It's just crappy-looking programming all the time.

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Can we get Jimmy Carter to referee this whole Elton John/Madonna thing? It's gotten entirely out of hand... the sniping back and forth, now competing post-Oscar parties? It's so obvious that they're really in love with each other.