The Chris Moeller Archives

Chris Moeller's 2012 New Year's resolutions

I resolve to join a gym. I've kept a packed gym bag in the back seat of my car for two months. I could stop and sign up after work any evening.

But at this point, I should probably wait until after the New Year's rush.

I resolve to take more photos.

I resolve to engage retail clerks, waiters, waitresses, and customer service representatives in a more meaningful way with my terrific wit. My job can be rather mundane so I know how important it is to be entertained on the job.

I resolve to fight my government if its "Justice" Department attempts to retain me indefinitely. The National Defense Authorization Act is indicative of how the United States has evolved into a zoo. I don't mean that the nation is bizarre, although it is. I mean that they keep us locked up and decorate our surroundings to give us the illusion of living in freedom. Now, half of the animals need the cage to feel comfortable.

I resolve to blog more creative metaphors.

I resolve to be less anal-retentive generally.

I resolve to speak truth to power.

I resolve to use my vacation time to the utmost.

I resolve that I will have no plastic surgeries above the neck.

I resolve to do fewer things by myself.

I resolve to be the kind of man that Rihanna can confidently welcome back into her life. (Correction: This is one of Chris Brown's 2012 New Year's resolutions.)

I resolve to spend more time in nature.

I resolve not to watch my 2011 World Series DVDs every day.

I resolve to tell my friends what they mean to me. Well, not now, but I'll get to it.

posted by CM @ 10:50 AM