Mark Twain's boombox is too loud
Now for the funniest news article I've read... maybe ever.This year marks the 175th anniversary of Mark Twain's death, the 125th anniversary of the publication of his literary masterpiece, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," and the 100th anniversary of his death, but officials in Twain's hometown, Hannibal, Missouri, have been vexed in recent years-- and still are-- over the fact that the most natural-looking Twain-impersonator in residence doesn't bother to concern himself with historical accuracy.
Seventy-year-old George Scott, you see, looks and dresses the part of Twain and spends his days hobnobbing with tourists down along the Mississippi River in downtown Hannibal. The problem is he doesn't sound the part. Instead of quoting the endlessly-quotable Twain, Scott prefers to engage out-of-towners with original quips about modern subject matter...
"When I last left Hannibal in 1902, I said don't change a thing," Scott said in his best Twain voice as he left the YMCA. "And, well, they didn't."
But Twain never said that. Scott made it up, which perfectly illustrates how Scott approaches Twain.
Scott's routine involves Twain, time travel and the flux capacitor from the "Back to the Future" movies, punctuated with references to Geraldo Rivera and Al Capone's vault. Sometimes he mentions Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh.
In his opening act, he wears white sunglasses. "I'm cool Twain," he says. "But don't confuse me with Soul Twain." Pause. "And that's what makes me the Soul Man of Hannibal." A boombox plays the Sam & Dave song "Soul Man." Twain begins to dance. His Twain can even pull off a cartwheel.
I drive through Hannibal often. This I've gotta see.
posted by CM @ 3:57 PM
2 Comments:
It’s a good thing your political views are not right of center. If they were, you would be called a racist for considering “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” a “literary masterpiece.” TA
In Hannibal Missouri, where they claim "Boyhood Home of Mark Twain" and "America’s Hometown," I’m not free to walk down Main Street in my Mark Twain attire without being trailed, stalked, followed, harassed or terrorized by the Mark Twain Museum Curator, Henry Sweets and his accomplice Ryan Murray the Museum’s Marketing Manager. It appears Henry heads an Anti-Twain Cartel in the Museum for his systematic use of coercion to insight fear, anxiety and worry into my life and business.
For years, Henry Sweets has conspired with Museum employees, board members and city officials to engage in provocative acts to deny me of my basic human rights of free speech and fundament rights of freedom. They keep watch over me like a hawk and call Henry or the police when I enter their area. They secretly take private photos and video recordings of me, listen in on my private conversations with tourists and make false police calls and reports, that could be "Wire Fraud." Henry’s obsession in attacking me includes the spreading of propaganda. In his smear campaign, he’s engages others to write lies and slanderous notes about me to support his cause. Because of these vicious attacks on my integrity, I’ve found myself being shunned by neighbors, previous acquaintances, the City of Hannibal, the Visitors Bureau, the schools and the Courier-Post, and recently when I appeared at the Mark Twain 100-year Anniversary event. Its obvious Henry’s intent is to destroy my small business of "Mark Twain" and me. And donations and endowments are funding these actions. I worry what his regime will do next.
I’ve attempted to stop these buffoons from stalking and harassing me. I filed police complaints against Henry Sweets, sent letters requesting him and his gift-shop Mgr. to not have any further contact with me. I also tried getting a "Restraining Order against Sweets. Judge Jackson exclaimed, "Case Dismissed! This is about business." About a year later, August 24, 2009, I filed charges against Henry Sweets and his accomplice, Ryan J. Murray, for stalking and harassment, HPD Report # 2009-024989
Recently, I filed complaints with the Mark Twain Museum Board against Henry Sweets and Ryan Murray, requesting they be removed from their positions. It’s too bad the Board couldn’t act upon my request with all the solid evidence they were given. You’d think with Judge David Mobley, president, Sally Poole V.P. and Attorney-State Rep. Rachell Bringer, Robert Clayton III and W.T. Johnson as Board Members, the outcome would favor the victim of these vicious attacks on his business and integrity. I followed with complaint against Mr. Sweets with the School Board to have the town bully removed as School Board President, but no avail. I also filed complaints with the City Councilmen and City Managers that included requests to terminate the lease of the Mark Twain Boyhood Home to Mark Twain Home Foundation as long as the current staff remained. This is supposed to be the land of opportunity, Henry Sweets and the museum are destroying democracy and free enterprise while the Board of Directors and the City Government sits on their hands rather than deal with the civil injustices that have taken place. Perhaps Hannibal’s "White Town Drowsing" days are still here.
DEFUND the Mark Twain Museum
The Museum should not be funded and their Non-Profit status revoked. The Mark Twain Boyhood Home’s lease from the City of Hannibal must be terminated. I urge everyone to NOT make any donations to the Mark Twain Home Foundation and to boycott the Mark Twain Museum and Boyhood Home.
I am a U.S. Citizen, Missouri and Hannibal Resident, Senior Citizen, Home & Business Owner and a Veteran.
No person in the United States of America should have to endure these Human Rights violations.
Mark Twain, 100 years A.D.
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