The Chris Moeller Archives

The Race is On - by Aaron Moeller

Tonight, Wheaties and Gatorade are on my training table – replacing the usual SweetTarts and Sunkist – as I begin my lead-up to the Big Race.

The Big Race is the Marion Arts Festival 5K on Saturday morning. Last year, I was a mere spectator as CM Blog comment box contributor Rob Semelroth competed. Semelroth, a marathon-running big shot and a ranking veteran of the Boston, New York and Austin Marathons, is probably one of the top 10 marathoners in his (our) age group in the country. Rob regularly finishes a marathon in close to two and a half hours, but was upset last year in this (by his standards) short race and came in second place. (To any Americans who may be reading this, 5 kilometers is about 3 miles. A marathon is 26+ miles, and therefore a longer distance.) My goal this year is to avenge Rob’s defeat for him.

Actually, Rob will be back to race again, and I’ll be finishing a good mile and a half behind him. Still, my presence will be felt, I assure you. Understand that Rob knows all about my four-year gym membership and likes to joke that my usual workout consists of sitting in a hot tub for an hour. First of all, the hot tub is underrated as a workout tool – I’ve always been able to do a lot more laps in a spa than the swimmers in those ridiculous, lukewarm Olympic-size pools – but that’s not the point.

The point is this: I’m in pretty good shape. It’s true that I haven’t competed in a race since the cross-country season of my sophomore year of high school. That was seventeen years ago, but I still weigh essentially the same as I did back then. I still wear the same pants size. I haven’t begun to lose my hair. And I’m stronger in one area: I can now grow facial hair, which will allow me to intimidate my opponents in ways I was never able to in those heady days of the early '90s. (Anyone who’s ever seen Rob’s occasional beard knows that’s not his secret to success.)

After a consistent training regiment in March and April, I’ve had a lazy May. I was waylaid by some dental work that has left me tired and popping painkillers all week instead of the methandrostenolone that Rob turned me on to last winter. I have been playing some basketball lately though so I’ll be ready to go. Rob knows I’m not going to beat him, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be pushing him from the starting gun. I could tell from his voice on the phone yesterday that I’m already in his head. I have a goal and it’s my mission to achieve it. I feel more than confident that for my three-mile trek, my journey of self-discovery on Saturday, I will blow away Rob’s 2 ½ hour marathon time.

posted by Anonymous @ 10:46 PM