The Chris Moeller Archives

The 79th Oscars - by Aaron Moeller

I’m blogging tonight’s Oscars, but let it be known, I’m not a movie guy. I mean, in a sense, we’re all movie people. It’s ubiquitous in American culture. We’ve all seen some movie that had a big effect on us, we’ve all laughed and cried at the movies but I still am not convinced it’s the medium for me. I’d love to have added my list of 5 favorite movies to my posting on Friday, but I’m not sure I can come up with five. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved many movies in my life, I’ve seen many good – even great – ones. (Note: I loved the "Star Wars" movies when I was a kid. I remember being knocked out in college when I first saw "Pulp Fiction" and then "Dead Man Walking". The first two "Godfather" films are intense and lasting. I’ll watch them forever. "Magnolia"and "Buffalo 66" felt completely original to me. I think "Citizen Kane" more than lives up to its reputation as great art. I’ve looked forward to little in my life the way I’m looking forward to the release of this summer’s "The Final Season", but that’s for specific personal reasons.)

By any definition, I’ve had all kinds of favorites in my time, but there’s been an overwhelming truth in my life that seems to overshadow my affection for films. When I think of all the wonderful stories and characters that I’ve seen depicted on the screen, the ones that immediately come to mind are from TV shows. I know historically no responsible critic would make this claim, but to me it’s the great medium of our age.

One of the reasons, I think, is that a two-hour film simply isn’t enough time to tell most stories. The reason most successful and effective novels don’t translate to film is because there’s no room for detail. My favorite fictional screen characters are all TV characters, because there’s so much more room to know and grow with characters. The potential for emotional attachment with TV shows is so much greater. I’ve never cared for a couple in a romantic comedy film the way I cared about Sam and Diane or Dave and Maddie. There are a half dozen fine-enough dramatic films every year, but I never care about those characters, for example, the way I cared about the four youths, the four lead roles on this season’s The Wire. There are no film screenwriters more brilliant than the writing staffs of The Wire, Deadwood or The Sopranos. I love Buster Keaton, Woody Allen and the Marx Brothers as much as anyone, but there are no comic films any smarter or better realized than was The Larry Sanders Show, Mr. Show with Bob and David or The Simpsons. And the very nature of TV and its immediacy makes the satire of The Colbert Report (or any number of late night comedy shows) ten times more topical than any political comedy that may be in your local multiplex.

On Chris’ profile page, he lists his interests and the focus of this blog to be America’s three legacies – jazz, baseball and the Constitution. He left one out – comedy. And the home of comedy is your television set. Actually the movies I’ve probably loved the most were the comedies I saw as a kid. For the most part, they starred performers from the Saturday Night Live school of comedy. I’m talking about "Fletch", "Foul Play", "Stripes", "Caddyshack", "Beverly Hills Cop", "The Jerk", "Three Amigos", and a dozen others. And as much as I have loved (and still love) those movies, most of those performers were edgier and funnier when they were actually on SNL.

Maybe it's that recently I’ve burned out a bit in my bid to watch and read (sometimes re-watching and re-reading) the "classics" of film and literature. I’ve been coming away from them with a sense that a lot of writers and artists take themselves far too seriously in their attempts at saying something Important. They almost inevitably fall flat and short of their intended goal. There was no better film this year than "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", and I must say that the film and its approach had me completely re-examining the way I look at film and the messages that accompany the greatest of its kind.

There are always prestige pictures, political films, cool crime dramas, action movies, and intelligent family dramas – some occasionally quirky and funny, and often genuinely clever – but when was the last time you saw a movie that changed much about the angle from which you view the world. (For me, "Borat" is as good as it gets.) Obviously, the vast majority of TV is still a wasteland as well, but the state of film is downright depressing. And yet, I’m always interested in the Academy Awards and the "Best of Film" that the show promises...

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll get to it because we've got a long way to go...

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6:00 – 7:00 CST – I watch the Barbara Walters special. She’s the woman who brought us The View. The most revealing thing about the interviews are the brief clips of Helen Mirren’s earlier films. She was quite the sexpot back in the day and apparently has been naked in dozens of films, which Barbara is kind to ask her about.

7:30 – The show begins with an awkward montage of the nominees (both stars and non-stars) standing in front of a white screen and they’re all...well, I’m not sure what they’re doing. Free associating? Looking confused at the cameraman? Saying the first things that come to mind? Making faces? I’m not really sure what the point of it is. It’s all very conceptual (and easier than hiring writers).

7:36 – Ellen DeGeneres has some funny bits in her monologue. She’s good at what she does, but her style is so casual and unassuming. The sort of nervous twitch that defines her style may not play to a crowd like this. During the night, though, she gets off some good lines.

7:45 – Right off the bat, "Pan’s Labyrinth" wins the big money prize – Best Set Direction.

7:53 – A musical performance from Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly is an early show highlight and -though torn from today's blog headlines! - the theme of their performance drives home my earlier point of how comedies get no love from the Academy Awards. These three gentlemen are all funny guys who have a long career ahead of them trying to stretch hilarious 5-minute sketch comedy ideas into 90-minute movies. Note: It doesn’t escape their notice either that the 60-years-plus Helen Mirren has proven herself to be the most memorable "older babe" since Tina Turner.

8:11 – Ellen introduces something called the "Sound Effects Choir", a weird performance that’s more clever in theory than in reality, especially playing in a huge theater to a worldwide TV audience. It ends so quickly though that it’s hard to figure out what just happened. One of the producers probably just lost a bet.

8:21 – Eddie Murphy, one of the first people I remember laughing at on television, loses the Best Supporting Actor award to Alan Arkin, a guy who didn’t do any singing, dancing or much of anything in his movie. I saw "Little Miss Sunshine" Saturday and Arkin has about two scenes in the movie. Don’t get me wrong, Arkin’s a big time actor who’s never gotten his due, and he’s a great guy, I’m sure, but this is an injustice. I guess from "Grumpy Old Men" to Peter O’Toole’s performance this year, movies love a fiesty old guy. For me, they’re all playing a version of Mr. Roper.

I feel bad Eddie didn't win. Take it from a fellow song-and-dance man, we never get the credit we deserve.

I’ve got some more thoughts here. This was the category I had the most invested in since I actually saw 4 of the 5 nominated movies. Arkin and "The Departed"’s Mark Wahlberg had similar comic relief roles – they both get about 10 minutes of screen time, where they get to chew scenery, spewing sharp and potty-mouth dialogue. The legacy of this year’s category? The cult of Oscar shall now bestow upon these nominees a lifetime of riches, while simultaneously, John Ratzenberger – who gave us 11 years of one of the most distinct and clearly defined, most indelible characters ever loved and welcomed into America’s homes, Cliff Clavin – doesn’t even have a sorry little Emmy to call his own. I digress...

And let me say this about "Little Miss Sunshine". If you haven’t seen it, don’t bother. Is this what passes for a quirky, film comedy? Let’s first acknowledge that it’s really an amalgamation of about 12 other movies that have come before it. With "Stranger Than Fiction" released, are we even sure "Sunshine" is the best, dysfunctional family comedy of the year? Are they really going to give a Best Picture Oscar to a film that lifted its be-true-to-yourself, dance-your-blues-away ending straight from "Napoleon Dynamite"? Hauling a dead relative across the country in the family vehicle (not to mention the slapstick scene of the car caroming out of control before coming to a safe, perfect stop in a parking lot) is right out of "National Lampoon’s Vacation".

8:28 – My brother and blogmaster Chris calls me up, wondering if I’ve noticed how awful the Oscars have been to this point. He wants my thoughts and I tell him he’ll have to read about it in the morning, like the rest of America.

8:36 – Leonardo DiCaprio and Al Gore announce this is the first "Green" Oscars. Seeing him now, and having watched both "The Departed" and "Blood Diamond", I’ve determined that DiCaprio is the coolest guy in the room.

8:46 – A demure Ben Affleck, one time Oscar winner for Best Original Screenplay, seems to almost fade into the scenery as he introduces an odd tribute to writers portrayed in films. The montage begins with classical music over someone typing on a manual typewriter. For a brief second, it looks like they're about to show us an old rerun of Murder, She Wrote. Afterwards, the camera catches Jack Nicholson, mugging for the camera, pretending to write in a notebook. He reclaims his "Coolest Guy in the Room" title.

8:50 – The guy who wrote "The Departed" makes his acceptance speech, announcing in a droll manner: "Valium works." Oh, those self-destructive artists!

9:10 – DeGeneres has the second of two funny bits in the audience where she first gave a script to Martin Scorsese (it’s a cross between "Big Mama’s House" and "Goodfellas" called "Goodmamas") and then later has Steven Spielberg take a picture of her with Clint Eastwood.

9:12 – Gwyneth Paltrow, presenting one of the dull awards, is the best looking presenter of the night, looking even better than Cate Blanchett.

9:20 – The ever-lovely Naomi Watts appears on-stage with a pretty cool Robert Downey Jr., whose goatee makes me want to grow my mustache back.

9:24 – Ken Watanabe appears on-stage to give an award, wearing one of those really thin mustaches. The look works for DiCaprio too, but Japanese guys can really pull off that look. I would look like John Waters. Or Adam Morrison.

9:29 – Clive Owen, who usually sports a two-day stubble, appears clean-shaven. His co-presenter is the always-luminous Cate Blanchett, who looks better than anybody in the building not named Gwyneth Paltrow.

9:31 - I award Eddie Murphy a conciliatory Oscar for "Coolest Facial Hair".

9:33 – Jennifer Hudson wins for "Dreamgirls". This will be the award and breakout star that people will likely remember about the 2007 Oscars. But there are only so many singing roles available in Hollywood. She was great in the movie, but when will we ever see this woman again? On the Grammys, I guess.

10:17 – A Celine Dion performance came and went. This is getting really long. It’s been 45 minutes since anything interesting happened. Yet I blog on. What won’t I do for you people?!

10:21 – The three Dreamgirls cut loose with a medley of their songs. The range of their individual performances is astounding. I’ve heard these songs a few times now, but I have to say I don’t exactly catch myself humming any of them. They all lose to Melissa Etheridge for best song.

10:44 – Jodie Foster introduces the roll call of death. Not a lot of big names this year. Robert Altman is the grand finale, but other beloved performers include Bruno Kirby, Maureen Stapleton and Moeller TV Festival honoree Don Knotts.

10:52 – No one is surprised when Helen Mirren wins for Best Actress. Some Internet research fills in the details of some of the shocking new information I’ve just recently been tuned in to. Maybe I haven’t been clear about this. Apparently, if this Academy Award show were being held in the 1970s or '80s, there’d be about a 50/50 chance that Mirren would be accepting the award topless.

11:03 – Forest Whitaker wins Best Actor and gives a sweet, heartfelt speech. My only problem with this award? It should have gone to Sasha Baron Cohen of "Borat", who wasn't nominated. While other actors were spending six months in their trailers, coming out for a couple hours each day to play dress up and shoot scenes on their nice, safe sound stages, Cohen was redefining film acting. (Of course, TV has been home to groundbreaking work from Cohen for years.)

11:06 – Martin Scorsese, the best film director in the world, wins his first Oscar and gets a standing ovation from the room.

11:14 – Piling on the love, "The Departed" is also the Best Picture winner. Of course, unlike a cop drama like "The Wire", the movie is a completely unlikely story that dissolves near the end with a ridiculously over-the-top body count. But it was an impressively entertaining film for 2 ½ hours, even if I left most of that emotion in the theater.

My week's done. See you this summer.

posted by Anonymous @ 10:10 AM