The Chris Moeller Archives

What is this thing called love?

Happy Valentine's Day to one and all. Especially to you there. You know who you are.

What is love, after all? Is it patient and kind, and all of those attributes you hear listed when they read from that little brown book at weddings? Is it "a many splendored thing" like the Four Aces said? Does it "walk in and take you for a spin?" as Cole Porter suggested? Does the 'L' symbolize the way you look at me, and the 'O,' shorthand for the only one I see, the 'V,' very, very/extra-ordinary, and the 'E,' even more/than anyone that you adore?

The love between Ira Gershwin and his late brother George was "here to stay," and evidently in Napoli, Italy, you've stumbled upon it when the stars make you drool along the lines of a plate of pasta fagiole. The coin-operated "Love Tester" at your local old-timey pizza parlor believes the presence of love dictates whether one is "uncontrollable" and "hot stuff" or simply "clammy" or "blah". Wikipedia, the free on-line encyclopedia, describes love as essentially an abstract concept, but the point is missing a citation for accuracy.

That damned Ken Levine has the best description. He did my dirty work for me again, that rascal. He quotes today from the greatest character in television history, "Taxi"s Louie DePalma (played by Danny DeVito)...

Louie is trying to win back his girlfriend, Zena (Rhea Perlman). He asks if she loves him. She says she doesn't know what love is. He tells her she's in luck because he does. And he's the only person alive who can say that. He's read what everyone else says love is and they're always wrong. She finally asks him what it is, and Louie says:

"Love is the end of happiness! The end. Because one day all a guy's got to do to be happy is watch the Mets. The next day you gotta have Zena in the room watching the Mets with you. You don't know why. They're the same Mets, it's the same room...but you gotta have Zena there."

So it is.

posted by CM @ 8:30 PM