The Chris Moeller Archives

Beached whales

The Cardinals' starting pitching has deteriorated to such an extreme that the team was still weighing a deal tonight for Red Sox 43-year-old blowhard and tub o' guts David Wells. According to St. Louis Post Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz, Boston GM Theo Epstein chilled the Cards' interest late in the afternoon by demanding either rookie standout outfielder Chris Duncan or projected future starter Adam Wainwright in exchange for Jumbo the Runaway Circus Elephant. By 11pm central time, Epstein had reportedly lowered the asking price to San Diego's Triple A catcher George Kottaras, a .233 hitter. Rumors had surfaced that Wells would simply retire if he didn't like the team to which he was traded, and Wells enjoyed a previous stint with the Padres. Where will "Boomer" land? And what surface damage will be done to the area in which he does?

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The man the Village Voice calls "the greatest all-around player in baseball," "the greatest Latin ballplayer of all-time," and "the fifth greatest Yankee in history after Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, and Joe DiMaggio" had only 49 extra base hits this season through Monday. His OPS (slugging plus on-base percentage) was .871, lower than Cincinnati's Scott Hatteberg.

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Anecdote of the night: From Late Show staffer and on-line chronicler Mike McAtee,

"I didn’t go to the Emmy Awards this year. I decided to stay home and spend time with the family instead. Years from now, maybe I’ll go again and take the girls, but not yet. I really don’t miss going to the Emmys. The only thing I miss is going to Chez Jay, a little dive bar in Santa Monica. The first time I went I spent most of my Saturday morning looking for a good dive bar to enjoy some cold Ales and a ballgame on the TV. It’s not easy to find such a bar in Santa Monica.

"As I trudged back to the hotel, right there across the street from my room was a dirty and dingy bar called Chez Jay. It was exactly what I was looking for. I couldn’t tell if it was really a dive, or just made up to look like one. Whatever, I plunked myself down on a barstool and ordered up a pre-noon mug. Sitting at the bar were 3 guys in dirty jeans and t-shirts. The barkeep was equally disheveled. I felt right at home. On the TV was Notre Dame vs. Nebraska.

"After a minute, the barkeep changed the channel right in the middle of an ND drive. I was a bit upset but being the new guy in the joint, I decided to show no emotion and simply observe. The three guys at the bar had no problem with the channel-change right in the middle of the game. The bartender stopped on a channel that was showing a commercial. I was guessing he knew what program was on. A few seconds later, beach volleyball came on. I figured this was a major sport in Santa Monica and excused the change of channel. But a minute of watching the volleyball game, the bartender again changed the channel. Again, the 3 guys at the bar, each watching the TV intently, showed no sign of disagreement. The barkeep stopped on another channel which had a commercial. Soon, a new show came on. After a minute of news, the bartender changed the channel to the Notre Dame game. While we were away, Notre Dame scored a touchdown. Damn. There’s a time-out and the game goes to a commercial.

"When the game comes back on, the barkeep changes the channel. What the heck was going on? He stopped clicking the remote at another commercial. I was thoroughly confused and decided to lean in on the conversation of the 3 regulars and the barkeep. A car commercial comes on. I hear them talk about where the commercial was shot in California; I hear them talk about who directed the commercial; I hear one of the guys say he was up for the commercial but was not hired. Another commercial comes on. They talk about where the commercial was shot. They talk about who directed it. One guy points out a friend who was in the commercial as an extra. One talks about how he missed out on the commercial audition because he was hungover. Another talks about the lighting. Another commercial comes on. One guy knew the guy who was in charge of the audio in the commercial. One guy pointed out a friend who was featured in the commercial and how much he’s been paid since it first started airing. The bartender comments on how poorly the commercial was shot and the music used was all wrong. I hear them talking about a Monday- all for a commercial about a mile away.

"The Notre Dame – Nebraska football game comes back on. . . . . and the bartender turns the channel. I couldn’t believe it. These 4 guys in a dive bar in Santa Monica were chasing commercials! They were watching TV just for the commercials. They had a comment for every commercial that came on. I stayed another hour watching in fascination and disgust. These 4 guys were struggling actors who were only interested in the commercials. California is nuts."


Enjoy the beach, Boomer.

posted by CM @ 11:07 PM