Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Rat and Me

I shared some cherished moments this morning with former Cardinals' skipper, Whitey Herzog. "The White Rat," as he's known-- Casey Stengel protege, and architect of the Cards' last World Championship in 1982-- appeared at the nearby Bob Feller Museum. I'll re-create the scene:

ACT I (of I)-- The curtain rises to reveal a small, modern looking, brick building in picturesque Van Meter, IA, nestled between the sturdy, but dormant trees of the Raccoon River Valley. It's mid-December, and wintry conditions can be witnessed through the windows of the museum's front entrance. Moeller carries a large printed image depicting Herzog in the Cardinals' dugout of the mid-1980s, surrounded by some of the manager's prominent players of that time. A closer examination of the print will reveal that it has already been signed by the other baseballers whose likenesses appear. They are Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee, Jack Clark, Tommy Herr, and Vince Coleman. With Moeller is his friend Semelroth, who carries Moeller's copy of "White Rat," Herzog's autobiography, and who will assist with the unwrapping, and consequent re-wrapping, of the print. The two men pay their museum admission, collect their autograph tickets, and proceed to the signing table. There is a line of just three people. A pair of museum officials bookend the 74-year-old Herzog as he sits amidst the Feller memorabilia, signing baseballs and glossy photos. An assortment of colored pens are sprayed out in front of Herzog.

MOELLER: Mr. Herzog, it's a very real honor to meet you.

HERZOG: Thank you. Oh, look at that. (Inspects the print.) Yeah. Everybody's signed it but me.

MUSEUM OFFICIAL: That's great.

MOELLER: It was a great team.

MUSEUM OFFICIAL: (To Moeller) What would you have done if Mr. Herzog wasn't here?

MOELLER: I got excited when I heard he was coming out here. I've been waiting about 14 years to get this finished. I would have walked out here from Des Moines if I had to. (The men laugh.)

HERZOG: (Gesturing to the print.) A fella in Cincinnati did this. (To Moeller.) Now you can put it in the frame.

Semelroth is seen snapping pictures of the exchange with his camera phone, positioned to Moeller's left. Herzog finishes signing, left-handed. Moeller extends his hand, and Herzog shakes it. Moeller leaves the table, but returns shortly with the copy of "White Rat."

MOELLER: Could you sign this, Mr. Herzog?

HERZOG: Yeah, you bet. (Takes the book.) Should I inscribe it to someone?

MOELLER: Please. To Chris. With a C.

HERZOG: C-H-R-I-S ?

MOELLER: That's right.

Herzog inscribes the book on the title page, again left-handed. Later, it will be revealed that he has written, "To Chris, My Very Best, Hope You Enjoy, Whitey Herzog." Moeller continues chatting as one of his heroes-- and a German-American 'bruder'-- writes.

MOELLER: Everything I've learned about baseball, I learned from this book. Strategies, line-ups, the double-switch....

HERZOG: (Interrupts.) Well, then let me tell you something, kid, you don't know a helluva lot about baseball. (Both men laugh.)

MOELLER: That's why I had to buy your second book. (More laughs.)

Herzog returns the item, and they shake hands a second time.

MOELLER: In all seriousness, though, your teams in St. Louis were fantastic. They made it easy to fall in love with the game of baseball. Thank you.

HERZOG: They were some great guys. Nobody ever accused my clubs of using steroids, I'll tell you that. They'd hit a hundred singles in a row, except for Jack Clark. Everybody else would swing, and it would sound like they were hitting the ball underwater. They could run, though, and they could play the game.

Moeller backs out of Herzog's presence, and the manager turns his attention to the next fan in line. Moeller and Semelroth take time to tour the museum. Semelroth has returned from having taken the print back to the car for safety considerations. Moeller continues to eavesdrop on Herzog's various conversations while examining the museum displays. Among other verbal chestnuts, he hears from Herzog: a repeat of the steroid comment; a positive assessment of the role that owner Gussie Busch played in Herzog's success in St. Louis; a listing of Milwaukee Braves pitchers, circa 1957 (at a fan's urging)-- Spahn, Burdette, Sain, Bob Buhl, etc.; and the following quip about the manager's wife, Mary Lou-- "I didn't speak to her the first two years I was married to her... I didn't want to interrupt her."

Moeller and Semelroth depart, with Moeller taking one last wistful look across the room. The curtain falls.

And 'scene.'

3 Comments:

At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I took the pictures with my digital camera, not a camera phone. No offense Chris, I just don't want anyone to go complaining to their cell phone dealer that their pictures don't turn out as clear as mine (I know how short cell phone salesmen can get with complaining customers). If you wish to see the pictures you can see them here

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That figures! I think I typed the link wrong. TRY THIS INSTEAD
Semelroth sucks at this

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger CM said...

I told you he was left-handed.

 

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