The Chris Moeller Archives

My Simple Life

While we wait for Thursday's FOX premiere of "Stars Without Makeup," I'll tell you about my current guilty pleasure on the tube. It's "The Simple Life" starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. (A new episode airs Wednesday at 7:30pm central, after Iowa basketball in Des Moines.)
Chicago Sun-Times TV critic Phil Rosenthal says of the show, "On a scale of one to four stars, it rates zero. Maybe less than zero. It's a black hole. It sucks in everything around it, which takes sucking to a whole new level. Even for FOX."
I don't know. It must be him. I find it irresistible.
It begins with the two stars-- two remarkably beautiful women. Obviously, they're spoiled, sheltered, and bored, but it's their mischievous natures, particularly Richie's, that quickly made the series enjoyable to watch. Whether she's giving a young girl a makeover without the mother's approval or buying a birdhouse for her hostess and charging it to the woman's credit card, I find Richie humorously incorrigible and endlessly entertaining. "Are you wearing a cup?" she asks a minor-league baseball player before kicking him between the legs. A fellow bus passenger asks if she's interested in dating one of her sons. "How big is his (bleep)?" she responds.

You can always feel the producers manipulating the situation, but that's what I find most interesting about the show. It has no redeeming value whatsoever, and how freeing that must be. "Where can we drop Paris and Nicole this week where they can behave inappropriately?" they ask themselves. First, it was the full season on the farm, then the roadtrip, and now a weekly "internship" at business establishments ranging from an auto body shop to a funeral home. Were you surprised when Paris and Nicole stole the police car from the shop? Of course, you weren't. Were you surprised when Nicole spilled the human remains while trying to get them into the urn, and then tried to cover it up by busting out a vacuum cleaner? My guess is no. (And if you believe human remains were really damaged, get help.) Yet Richie emits such joy as she does it. She's not just having fun in these manufactured situations. She's having fun being on television.

The critics believe that Paris and Nicole are contemptuous of ordinary people. Rosenthal argues that at least lightweights Ashlee and Jessica Simpson are harmless, "At worst, they desperately want to be liked... Better to court our favor than to look down on us." He adds, "The notion of working hard, taking pride in your job and earning a day's pay is apparently beneath them." Give it a break. I admire "The Simple Life" girls for their honesty. They're not trying to be endearing. In return, I'm trying to figure out why viewers would resent Paris and Nicole, unless they truly believe these girls lead better lives than they do. I don't. It's a cliche, but money can't buy happiness. I haven't had to battle a drug addiction like Richie has, and my sex tape has yet to surface publicly.

When I watch the show, I see one of the most breathtakingly beautiful women on the planet and a gifted young comedienne. I also detect a fundamental sweetness to the show. Every time the girls stay at a new home, they routinely retire to their bedroom and exclaim, "I like these people. They're really nice." They have a deep affinity for animals, and a drive to make the most of their moment in the public spotlight. When they're riding in a hearst and "Brick House" comes on the radio, Nicole squeals, "That's my Dad's song." And she's gotta crank it up.

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Note from Caucus Central (Iowa): A 527 group dedicated to electing Condoleeza Rice to the White House has bought $1,300 worth of political ads on Des Moines' Clear Channel radio stations. If you're keeping track, we had only 3 1/2 months of recovery between election cycles. To put this timing in perspective, imagine someone buying ads for the 2004 Election seven months before the attacks of September 11th. The amount of money these groups have to spend is mindboggling.

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Cool Quote of the Day: Baltimore Orioles manager Lee Mazzilli, announcing his policy that no boomboxes will be allowed in the team clubhouse, including Sammy Sosa's:
"That's my rule. Some guys don't like what you play... I would slip in my Dean Martin and they would say, 'Alright, we won't play it. I mean, fair is fair. If I have to listen to your 50 Cent, you have to listen to Dean Martin."

posted by CM @ 10:04 PM