Brand loyalty
One of the sillier stories to come out of the Valentine's Day season this year is that of the antics of the Governor and First Lady of Arkansas. Mike and Janet Huckabee have entered into one of them newfangled "covenant marriages," a new legal classification for marriage available in many Bible Belt states that essentially closes the option of no-fault divorce for married couples.I don't know what could be more romantic than politicizing your relationship in front of thousands of your political supporters in a basketball arena surrounded by gay protesters. I hope the best man remembered the voter registration cards. I hear the couple is planning a second honeymoon to "Larry King Live."
In 2000, Governor Huckabee, a former Baptist minister, declared a "marital emergency" in Arkansas, as it has the third highest divorce rate in the country. Covenant Marriages are designed to shore up these lagging marital values, and they leave open the option of divorce in cases such as physical abuse, imprisonment, or "habitual drunkenness for one year," which should effectively exclude nearly all of the readers on this blog.
Let's call this movement what it is-- a plot to separate "the holy" from the rest of heathen America. If "old school" marriage has become a little too welcoming to the queers and the Federlines, than it's time to write a new Bible-- a Newer Testament worthy of Janet's pledge to "submit" to her husband.
Despite my snark, I don't really care what the Huckabees do with their marriage. They probably wouldn't let me join with them even if I wanted to (even though I'm great with kids.) If a Mormon (or anybody else) wants to marry more than one person, that's his or her call too, as far as I'm concerned, just as long as the participants are all over 18 and have given their consent. If Ellen wants to marry Portia de Rossi, bring it on. I think she's funny, and she deserves someone as beautiful and talented as the fictional Ms. Lindsay Bluth.
If covenant marriages infringe only upon the freedoms of the united, let no man pull asunder. It doesn't matter if I think they're best left to the vain, insecure, and sanctimonious. L'chaim!
posted by CM @ 7:44 PM
6 Comments:
I like the Establishment Clause argument; I've never heard that one before. The only thing better than making marriage illegal would be for the government to totally stay out of it. Unfortunately that will never happen. It would require our friends in government to give up some of their control over our lives. TA
I agree. It shouldn't be illegal. I phrased that badly. What he said.
I suppose this is simply the natural progression for hardcore red states. Marriage needed an upgrade in "Godliness" now that the gay community has, in the Bible Belt's mind, spoiled the exclusively-heterosexual fun.
It can't be bad for business, either. You can get half the congregation to rent the church again for a second wedding.
"second honeymoon to Larry King Live"...that's a good line.
Chris, whatever happened to your Larry King Interview Question of the Day segment? I miss it.
I grew tired of watching the show after the first two days. Maybe I'll bring it back from time to time like the McRib.
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