The Chris Moeller Archives

The $353,000 dinner for two

Bernie Sanders is really poking the bear now. He’s begun hitting the Hollywood elite, those that are attempting to provide the final funding for his opponent’s less-than-thriving presidential campaign. (Be wary as you read ahead. Some of these luminaries may be your favorite tabloid stars.) Such hubris is liable to keep Bernie out of the Democrats' Gold Club for all time.

The Democrats desperately want Bernie out. Well, not the voters, but the operatives, the racketeers. It’s time, they say, for Hillary to begin focusing on Donald Trump in the seven-month-long match-up that everybody in Hollywood must be salivating over, but is giving the rest of us the trots. Bernie’s already been buried by the Washington scriptwriters, but-- from his back, laying in a coffin-- he has won majorities, large ones, in five of the six most recent voting states, including all three racially-diverse states on Saturday-- Washington, Alaska, and Hawaii. Now he’s laying rhetorical aim at George Clooney’s upcoming $353,000-per-couple fundraiser for Hillary, referring to it, as he did over the weekend, as “obscene.”

Come on, Bernie, lighten up. It's only politics as usual. The Clintons didn’t invent it, though they sure as hell glamorized it. What’s the point of having power if you can’t pal around with the world’s most robust and exciting image makers? Why have elbows if they can’t be rubbed against people who employ full-time elbow polishers (probably)? Hollywood loves Hillary. They’ve given us “impressions” of the woman as portrayed by Emma Thompson, Tea Leoni, and Robin Wright-Penn in award-nominated roles. Who am I forgetting?

Her apologists, growing increasingly entitled and shrill as winter turns to spring, say the gala is actually a party fundraiser for “down ticket” races, but then it’s strange that both of the party’s presidential candidates aren’t part of the event. Only one of the two has shown an astonishing propensity to raise money this year and it’s not Hillary. Will we at least get to read the transcripts of the speech she makes at the dinner? We haven’t seen the Goldman scripts yet, but this one could probably get punched up a little first by Bruce Vilanch. For a cool $325 grand, my ears would require dirty limericks and some sturdy investment tips.

When Clinton accepts extravagant sums of money from investment firms, pharmaceutical companies, and other corporate benefactors, she says she doesn’t consider these to be bribes. But then she would, wouldn’t she? It still has not been scientifically proven that the generous application of cash will grease any wheels in Washington D.C. Or has it? Have they done studies on that? I'm being sarcastic.

I know the Spielberg-Capshaws would like to muscle their way in between hosts at this fete, but it might be best for everybody if the Clooneys and Clintons are seated at the same table. Mrs. Clooney is a well-respected human rights attorney, we’re told, so maybe she could provide some enlightenment to Hillary (and Bill, too, if he's not too busy looking down her dress) in respect to the 2009 coup in Honduras, Israel’s policy in Palestine, and the career of Henry Kissinger, whom the Clintons vacation with as frequently as the Newharts do with the Rickleses. Clinton would certainly claim she already knows all there is to know about human rights, but then she would, wouldn’t she?

posted by CM @ 8:41 PM