Monday, March 10, 2014

The greatest athlete cameo in screen history

 

Chuck Klosterman's 2013 book I Wear the Black Hat is worth picking up for one of its twelve chapters alone. The cultural critic relates the evidently true story of two celebrities meeting. Jeff Ament, sideman for the popular musical group Pearl Jam, met one of his heroes, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, at a charity event. Kareem reportedly showed no interest when Ament shared the details of his fandom. (Ament apparently then wrote a song about Kareem called "Sweet Lew," the title a reference to the basketballer's abandoned Christian name.)

According to Klosterman's report of the meeting, "(Kareem) didn't even pretend to care... To any normal person, a facsimile of gratitude is enough; that facsimile is an acceptable amount of emotional access. When Ament met Abdul-Jabbar, all Kareem needed to say was, 'Thanks, man. That means a lot. Good luck with your life.' He would not have needed to mean any of those words. Even if he'd been transparently acting, it would have been enough to satisfy a person who had pre-decided to love him. But Abdul-Jabbar can't do that. He can't ignore the stupidity of that false relationship."

A story like this is exactly why Abdul-Jabbar, and his appearance in the 1980 film classic Airplane! are both so wonderful. Klosterman summarizes Kareem's long-standing relationship to public life: "He refused to pretend that his life didn't feel normal to the person inside it, and he refused to pretend that other people's obsession with abnormality required him to act like the man he wasn't." You gotta seek out this book, particularly if you want to read the theory of how this behavior contrasts with that of O.J. Simpson-- post-double murder.

Klosterman on Airplane!:

"Kareem Abdul-Jabbar portrays Roger Murdock, the doomed aircraft's copilot. However, the principal comedic utility is that he's really playing himself (but refuses to admit it). His most memorable scene is when a little kid enters the cockpit, instantly recognizes him, and says, 'I think you're the greatest, but my dad thinks you don't work hard enough on defense.'

"It's funny, but also smart: Movie Kareem pretends to be offended by the remark, but Real Kareem clearly finds the criticism amusing (or else he wouldn't have allowed it in the script). It shows a sense of humor that he had never presented before. But the joke is bigger than that. The core of the joke is that it's ridiculous to pretend that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is anyone besides himself. You can't be a seven-foot-two character actor; even if Kareem had the acting chops of Philip Seymour Hoffman, he can't disappear into another being. He can only be who he is, and even a child can see this. So the center of the joke (better known as the unfunny part of the joke) is that Kareem is denying who he obviously is. He wants to disappear into society, and that's impossible. It's something everyone can understand in theory, but nobody accepts in practice. He is supposed to be happier than he is. He is supposed to like being Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and he's supposed to like that we like it to."

Here's the best clip I could find online of Kareem's Silver Screen brilliance. Seriously, why would Kareem be co-piloting that plane?

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