John Francis Donaghy 2006-2013
Tonight, "30 Rock" says goodbye on NBC. In it's honor, here's a collection (via Salon) of some of the great pearls of advise offered up by Jack Donaghy over seven seasons. Liz Lemon has-- deservedly-- been the most examined and deconstructed character on this show, but don't ever forget the brilliance of her boss-slash-mentor.Jack was a recipient of the Amory Blaine Handsomeness Scholarship, the man who coined the phrase "You wish, pal." He bow hunts polar bears and once drove a rental car into the Hudson to practice escaping. He's a man who has the entire liberal media establishment at his disposal, the same manipulation machine that got Barack Obama elected and donated all that money to Rainstorm Katrina. He's a man who once de-pantsed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it. A G.E. man for 30 years and a G.E. woman for one week of corporate espionage. A man who, like a silver-back gorilla and Mitt Romney's grandfather, requires more than one woman. A man who drinks morning shower scotch. A man extremely secure in his athleticism, his masculinity, and his rectal integrity. Men want to be him. Women want to sleep with him. Bisexuals want to watch. A man who, every year on April 22th, honors Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions. A man who has a betting system based on horse penis size. A man who put his wedding announcement in Cigar Aficionado. A man who has held Walt Disney's frozen head in his hands.
Jack Donaghy had a falling out with the postmaster general over the Jerry Garcia stamp (if he wanted to lick a hippie, he would return Joan Baez's phone calls). He has showered with Greta Van Susteren and overcome a peanut allergy through sheer willpower. He cuts his hair every two days because "your hair is your head-suit." He's a man who gets all of his news from Dick Cheney's website, Dickviews.com. A man who plans to Benjamin Button himself. A man who once declared, "I am God," during a deposition. A man who attended Harvard Business School and was voted "Most." A man who once hit a stand-up triple off Fidel Castro. The first person to ever say, "I need a vacation from this vacation." The song "You're So Vain" was in fact written... by him.
He will be missed.
posted by CM @ 7:12 PM
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