My 2012 gift list
I almost have my Christmas shopping done for another year. Here's what you're each getting from me...My father: "The Talk Show Hosts of National Public Radio" trading card set.
My stepmom: A Ladyship, becoming a Scottish landowner thanks to this website. And maybe one of their calendars too.
My 8-year-old sister: A 50 caliber rifle. She's old enough now to learn firearm safety.
My brother: An Android. Not the phone, a robot that looks and acts like a human.
My sister-in-law: A water-powered jet pack. For obvious reasons.
My stylist: If I could, I would throw a lasso around the moon and pull it down from the sky for him.
My accountant: An eight-part series of graphic novels I've drawn chronicling our adventures together.
My spiritual adviser: His own radio show so he can prank call the royals.
My bookie: The Hickory Farms Summer Sausage and Cheese Gift Box. He's so damn hard to buy for.
My pool cleaner: Soft silicone ear plugs
My Gal Friday: Sensible shoes
My AA sponsor: A heartfelt card and a bouquet of flowers. She's dying of ovarian cancer.
My food taster: "Girls" Season One
My beverage taster: An extra week of paid vacation
My laundress: Tim Allen's 1996 book "I'm Not Really Here." Inside joke, she'll get it.
My bedazzler: An ambassadorship
My lightning rod: I plan to bake something.
My co-defendant: The rap
My boy scout pack: Individual pieces from my personal coin catalog. Young boys, you see, love coin collecting.
Assorted friends: Photography lessons. Your Facebook photos suck.
My girlfriend: Paula Gladwell's book on David Petraeus. These elegant 432 pages describe approximately how I feel about her.
My readers: This handy gift-giving guide.
posted by CM @ 9:52 PM
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