The Chris Moeller Archives

The College Republicans is a tremendous organization. I recall their campus participation from back when I was in school in Ames, IA in the mid-'90s. It was the College Republican's job to keep "liberal" professors informed of Rush Limbaugh's daily talking points, and also, I noticed, to pose a persistent challenge to the perceived prevalence of "date rape" during public forums. The group has become quite notable nationally. The College Republicans are responsible for Karl Rove, Rick Santorum, Ralph Reed, Grover Norquist, and the worst economic crisis in the U.S. in seven decades.

The clever-ists at their UC-Berkeley branch have now given us the "Increase Diversity" bake sale. Whites pay $2.00 for each baked item, Asians pay $1.50, Latinos $1.00, African-Americans $0.75, and Native Americans $0.25. Prices are reduced an additional quarter dollar for women of each corresponding race.

These Junior Abramoffs have a brilliant radar for unfairness. All communities, secondary schools, and learning environments, you see, are equal when it comes to creating a college applicant, but white males, and College Republicans, have been laboring themselves under the boot of female and minority oppressors. Well, at least they were paying attention when their "liberal" professors read the statistics about financial earnings by race and gender demographic. Their percentages are not wildly off-base.

The College Republicans have every right to act like smarmy assholes. I'm not in the group that would demand a public apology here. Their leadership structure has been quite successful in producing notable politicians, including one key Democrat, Hillary Clinton, but I think it important to note that they've produced very few professional comedians.

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In Amnesty International's annual list of the countries with the most state executions, these are your top 5 nations since 2007.

1) China

2) Iran

3) Iraq

4) United States

5) Pakistan

Isn't that crazy how four of the countries are really corrupt, indifferent to human rights, and driven by an insatiable barbarism and bloodlust, yet the other is, like, totally cool and stuff?

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Yesterday in New York, Roger Maris' sons, Randy and Roger Jr., told the media that they still consider their father to be baseball's all-time single-season home run champion, though his record of 61 in 1961 was surpassed a total of six times between 1998 and 2001 by either Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Sammy Sosa. In related news, I believe my dad is the all-time single-season home run champion. Way to go, Dad, I love you. I believe 2005 was your best year.