The Chris Moeller Archives

The 5 coolest guys on television

5) Jim Rockford ("The Rockford Files" 1974-1980)-- Probably the only private investigator on television who was an ex-con rather than an ex-cop. Rockford, played by James Garner, rarely carried a gun ("I just point it," the character once explained), lived in a run-down mobile home on the beach at Malibu, and "kep' it real" with the criminals he chased ("Does your mother know what you do for a living?") Garner, 80 years old this past Monday, had previously, and would carry the same easy-mannered persona from TV's "Maverick" in the 1950s to "Support Your Local Sheriff" on the big screen in the late '60s to a series of "Rockford" TV movies produced years after the series' end.

4) Sam Malone ("Cheers" 1982-1993)-- Nobody scored with the babes like Boston's own "May Day" Malone, the former Red Sox relief pitcher, now recovering alcoholic bartender, portrayed with underappreciated aplomb by Ted Danson. Pursuing first the prim Diane, then the insecure Rebecca, and a bevy of other knock-out babes in-between, Sam always had the admiring Norm, Cliff, and Carla in the peanut gallery, rooting him on in his amorous quests. His "little black book," filled with ladies' telephone numbers, became legendary. Some men have only one woman their entire lives, Sam "had two under 'Q.'"

3) Det. Jimmy McNulty ("The Wire" 2002-2008)-- "Bushy Top" had almost a singular focus in pursuing the goods on Baltimore drug dealers, but it was his disdain for the P.D. chain of command ("Fuck the bosses") that made McNulty television's classic anti-hero. Pawned off from one supervisor to the next-- most memorably to the dreaded Marine Unit in Season 2, McNulty (Dominic West) was never above circumventing police protocol-- whether manipulating the legal jurisdiction on 13 discovered dead bodies or allowing his undercover work as a prostitution john to carry too far during the line of duty (causing a bit of extra paperwork). McNulty was a heavy drinker, a rotten husband, and an equally-rotten ex-husband, but was inescapable just the same. "To love Jimmy McNulty," writes Erika Jahneke, "is to love that which is impulsive, hedonistic, and rebellious, but still self-destructive in our own characters."

2) David Addison ("Moonlighting" 1985-1989)-- "The Ad Man," South Philly street corner doo wop amateurist-turned-high-rent Beverly Hills gumshoe, stands monument to one of those most thrilling, but all-too-rare spectacles in American popular culture. For four and a half hilarious, fast-action, R&B hummin', "blue-eyed soul" seasons, we watched Addison's television portrayer, Bruce Willis, transform himself into a bright, shining star. Never before or since has such self-conscious and self-congratulatory television been so electrifying. During that final moment in history during which a 40 share in the Nielsens was an achievable goal (this year's Academy Awards telecast, by contrast, garnered only a 33), David and Maddie and "Moonlighting" were water-cooler gold, and the show's appeal was due in large part to the irresistible charm of the fast-talking, street-wise private eye who would eventually melt the insides of even a sexy, sophisticated, internationally-renowned cover girl.

1) Larry David ("Curb Your Enthusiasm" 2000-present)-- Portraying himself, Larry David lives according to his own rules-- whether it's showing professional favoritism to a fellow bald man, refusing to play along with the interactive theatrical concept of "Tony and Tina's Wedding," or trying to weasel out of donating a kidney to his best friend. Larry is the personification of cool because he's courageous enough to pursue total purity, at least so far as that purity conforms to his own internal logic. His id is entirely unrestrained. A friend of mine says that a true friend is someone who will tell you when you have a piece of food stuck between your teeth, and if that's the case, then Larry's your man. He'll confide to a blind man that the man's girlfriend isn't really a model. ("I'd like to tell my wife I look like Brad Pitt, but unfortunately, she can see.") Why is his show so popular? Says David: "I think it's because people see elements in me that they see in themselves and that I'm saying a lot of things they wish they could say. Like if there was a show called 'Revenge,' I'd watch it, because I cannot get enough of revenge." Larry's so cool, he scored a date with Lucy Lawless-- Zena the Warrior Princess-- by using the line "I'm not a cool guy." That's cool.

posted by CM @ 2:42 PM