The Chris Moeller Archives

Festival 6

Sorry it's been a whole week since posting, but the Moeller TV Festival, held Saturday in Des Moines, turned into a monster. Thanks to all who participated. The shows themselves were phenomenal as always, and hearty credit goes to the cast and crew of each of the classics that we viewed. A television festival is only as good as its television product, and we had our pick again this year of some of the greatest episodes of the greatest TV shows of all-time-- from "All in the Family" to "Cheers" to "Get a Life" to "30 Rock." The sub sandwiches, I thought, were better than ever, and we avoided nearly all of the thousand different catastrophies that can befall such an event, such as the batteries going out on the remote control.

There was but one hitch in the proceedings. An "Open Remote" selection from "Malcolm in the Middle" had to be substituted at the last minute with an episode of "How I Met Your Mother," because of a Netflix snafu, but all in all, the event was a bonanza. I'm sure Aaron concurs because he called me last night and told me so! Oh, why must Moeller TV Fest come but once a year? Me thinks that perhaps we should schedule MTF7 in 2008 for early January. I simply cannot wait any longer than that.

Like last year, I'll take an evening here to post the "greetings" that Aaron and I wrote for this year's festival program. Talk to you soon.


Wow! That was phenomenal! I can't remember when I spent a more entertaining six hours!

Oh hi, I'm Chris Moeller, co-founder of the Moeller Television Festival. You've caught me in a state of nonplus. I was just enjoying a pre-festival private screening of this year's festival, and let me tell you, this one is going to be a whopper! That Dean Martin sure is one suave and sophisticated performer. And let me inform you that that old Archie Bunker sure is one prejudiced individual. That must have been one of the strangest afternoons Sammy Davis Jr. ever spent when he visited old Archie Bunker. And those Muppets sure are cute, no? And talented. Really, what a line-up we have in store for you this year.

If I could be serious, though, for just a moment, and I think recent events around the globe require that I do-- I was at home with my wife Fran just a few nights ago and that program came on with the devilishly handsome young actor who plays the cop who can see into the future and stop crimes before they occur, and I said "Honey, can you believe how much the Moeller Television Festival has transformed itself-- and the world-- in just six short years? Now back that sweet apple bottom over here and snuggle up real close." Aaron and I never could have predicted that a project intended to simply gain passing marks in a college horticulture class would metastasize, if you will, into such an interplanetary force. We had elaborate dreams for the festival back in 2002, no doubt about that, but what I think we both predicted at the time was that television festivals would mushroom across the western world like the popular bottled fragrances of our hottest Hollywood starlets.

Reality had other ideas in mind, however, as is her fickle custom. The television medium's other would-be festival organizers have apparently found the challenge of organizing and promoting a TV Fest, let alone a series of TV Fests, to be uncharacteristically daunting, for even these certified geniuses of highly-elevated entertainment and human spectacle. And earlier this week, television writers pushed Hollywood to the very brink of its pending destruction by walking out on strike in protest of the industry's negligence in protecting intellectual property in a series of high-profile TV Festival copyright suits.

At last, the one and only Television Festival to be found on planet Earth in 2007 A.D. bears the name "Moeller," and for that, both Aaron and I, and our adopted brother, Irv, remain grateful and moderately humbled. The planning of what will now be six annual festivals has required literally hundreds of minutes of planning through the years, and is blamed now definitively as the chief cause of Aaron's emergency bypass operation in the fall of 2005. We've witnessed a sea of change and a healthy dollop of turmoil around the world since that first TV festival day in June of 2002. But with the annual Moeller Television Festival trudging valiantly forward through the new millennium and with Mitt Romney as the next president of the United States, I believe we're in store for a calming of international waters, and America will continue to be a beacon of strength and hope in the world.

Chris

---

Special Feature- DVD Extra (from Aaron)

"Reclaiming the Top Bunk: Planning the Moeller TV Festival"

The Moeller TV Festival has long been celebrated for its loose, free-wheeling atmosphere and its supposed "thrown together at the last minute" charm, but a lot of behind the scenes planning goes into its production. This year, Aaron and Chris Moeller allowed unprecedented access to the process, allowing video cameras and reporters into their top-secret festival bunker for a day of pre-screenings and preparation.

Dateline: Saturday, October 9th, 2007, in Des Moines, three weeks before the festival.

11am- After twelfth year of roadwork and detours, Aaron again gets lost in labyrinth of Des Moines freeway construction. Abandons car on highway and walks to Sherman Hill district. Unable to remember which is Chris' fourth Sherman Hill residence, Aaron shouts his brother's name in front of every building until Chris hears his plantive cries.

1pm- Discussing "Three's Company," Chris is offended when Aaron insists Terri was sexier than Chrissy.

2:20pm- A fight breaks out in regard to product placement and festival sponsorship. Aaron fights for chance to pass out information about U.S. Cellular's new unlimited family text message packages. Chris wants equal opportunity to bury recent college graduates under mountain of debt.

4:03pm- The twins argue over who does a better Alec Baldwin impression.

6:07pm- Pizza this year? Nope. Sub sandwiches now and forever.

6:37pm- The Moellers hold a self-haircut seminar for the assembled media, then square off in a Sideburn Grow-off.

9:12pm- The twins' short fuses and competitive natures erupt again in even more arguments. Should they only show DVDs or are VHS cassettes still an option? Is "King of the Hill" still on the air? Who bakes better scones? Who did Grandma love more when she was alive? Who does she love more from Heaven?

11:43pm- The evening gets late, cooler heads prevail, and the exhausted Moellers finally come to conclusions. The festival date and lineup is set. It is agreed that Terri and Chrissy are both beautiful creatures- each perfect in her own supple way. The arguments about Alec Baldwin impressions are declared moot when it's understood that all you have to do to impersonate Baldwin is whisper. The festival, now, cannot fail.

Dateline (future): Saturday, December13th, 2007, five weeks after the TV Festival is a raging success.

Aaron and Chris again meet in Des Moines to Christmas shop for their little sister and to record a commentary track for the eventual release of "The Best of the Moeller TV Festival" DVD. Bookmark amazon.com and pre-order your copy today.

posted by CM @ 8:34 PM