The Chris Moeller Archives

Greetings from TV Fest, Part I

Each year for the Moeller Television Festival (December 9th and 10th, 2006 in Cedar Rapids, IA-- call 515-249-3457 to RSVP and for directions), Aaron and I take the time to each write a greeting for the festival's colorless program. Aaron slaves over his for months and months, and I knock mine out in about 20 minutes, but we both take a bit of pride in the results.

The rest of this week on the blog, I'll be sharing the greetings we've written for the first 5 years. It's a way to give those of you who'll be attending this weekend a ramp-up for Saturday, while also assuring that I get one more week out of this blog without having to come up with a new idea. Tonight, it's "Greetings" from the inaugural celebration of 2002. Enjoy.


2002 - June 22 & 23, Des Moines, IA, 6 people in attendance:

Welcome fellow Trekkies!

The planning is finally complete. The guest speakers have committed. The hectic promotional tour has ended, as has the initial rush of intense media scrutiny, and we are left, finally, with only the hours of memorable television.

My brother and I have gone deep into the vaults. We've unearthed some great material from our vast video libraries and soon it will be released like a kind, welcoming virus into the world. In retrospect, this festival began its gestation period years ago. I can recall one particularly warm, humid day in the womb when a still unnamed Chris turned to me and said, "You know, Boss, from in here, Baretta 'sounds' like a great show and Blake certainly deserved his Emmy, but I suspect he's destined for even greater fame. Or perhaps even, infamy." Good call, Chris!!

Sure, there were debates along the way. For example, if it hadn't been for my veto, this festival would consist of two episodes each of "Kate and Allie" and "Happy Days," and for no other reason than Chris has never completely gotten over his boyhood crushes on either Kate or Potsy.

But ultimately, I need to thank Chris for this weekend. Not just for the years of TV companionship, but his hospitality as well. When the planning and scheduling began, we had numerous options for a festival site. We looked into renting a screening room at the Museum of Television and Radio in New York City, and later, considered booking a conference room at Steve Wynn's fabulous Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas (thanks for the invite, Steve-O), but we eventually decided the most appropriate site for the festival would be Chris' living room. Iowa is, after all, the home state of TV's beloved Radar O'Reilly. (Not to mention, the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.)

So Chris, thank you. You give and give and give of yourself and ask so little in return. Although your furniture (and the decor in general) is lacking. But that's neither here nor there.

Sit back and enjoy. We'll laugh. We'll perhaps cry. We'll be wonderfully entertained. We'll stretch our legs occasionally while remaining respectful of our neighbors. We'll enjoy food, drink, and the camaraderie of fellow television fans. But I get the remote.

Your TV pal,
Aaron Tiberius Moeller

---


When the National Council of Churches first approached us with this project more than a decade ago, we were skeptical. After a half-day of meditation and a carb-heavy buffet lunch, our skepticism had been replaced with concern. How do you summarize a lifetime of television viewing into a standard, albeit seemingly endless, weekend?

All Americans, and freedom-loving peoples around the word, have been warmed by the comforting glow of the TV sometime in their lives. Typical is this comment from former U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna Shalala, while still teaching political science at Bernard Baruch College in New York City in 1971, "I watch television. Most people do."

My brother and I have always felt uniquely "warmed" by the glow. The television was always close by-- a surrogate parent, naturally; but more accurately, he was crotchety old "Uncle Telly." This bond was strengthened in the mid-'80s when Aaron landed the role of Kirk Cameron's dim-witted, but well-meaning pal Richard "Boner" Stabone in the popular ABC-TV sitcom "Growing Pains." Yes, he would quickly tell you, the cast was as close off-camera as on. You can't fake that kind of magic. We think you'll agree.

The first Moeller Television Festival is dedicated to our father, Tom "Starsky" Moeller, who allowed his sons to watch television while doing their homework. Of course, this is also the reason we're both stuck in low-paying, dead-end jobs with no ambition for anything beyond organizing television "festivals" that cost us money rather than make it. Enjoy the sandwiches!

Try them with mayonnaise,
Chris


Friday's Schedule

7am-6pm-- Moeller Celebrity Pro-Am Golf Tournament
Terrace Hills Golf Course, Altoona, Iowa
Best Shot Format. Advance payment: $75 per golfer

6pm-10pm-- Cocktails. Official "meet and greet." (Cocktails not provided.)



Oh, how young we were then. Tiny babies really. If we could do it over again, I would rewrite the part where it sounds like Dad was doing our homework while we watched TV. We were doing the homework. We just watched TV while we did it.

posted by CM @ 8:35 PM