World Cup Fever Finally Breaks - by Aaron Moeller
I can't say I watched it but it appears the World Cup came down to a pretty exciting conclusion with Italy besting France yesterday in Germany. The final score was 5-3, which would normally be like a 31-18 baseball game, but it's misleading in this case because it was a 1-1 tie for most of the game. The final score was inflated because they had a bunch of penalty kicks after someone evidently decided the clock had finally counted up high enough and they should probably start wrapping things up.The most popular highlight on the news today, however, is a clip of French captain Zinedine Zidane head-butting an Italian player, who it's now reported called Zidane a "dirty terrorist". The Italian player, Marco Materazzi, denies it, saying "It is absolutely not true, I did not call him a terrorist. I'm ignorant. I don't even know what the word means." This is a pretty weak defense, but even so, the comment hardly justifies a head-butt. Judging from the number of articles online today, this is a very big deal in the soccer world. Zidane, the son of Algerian immigrants, is considered a legendary player and this was his final game. I suppose it's akin to if Michael Jordan had been tossed from Game 7 of his last NBA Final.
Despite the head-butt, Zidane was awarded the FIFA Golden Ball Award today as the outstanding player of the World Cup. Materazzi was similarly awarded the FIFA Iron Nuts Award for receiving the head-butt and getting right back up to play without even waiting for the usual stretcher that makes continual appearances during every soccer game.
I don't know much about soccer but Zidane received a red card for the head-butt, which is apparently even worse than getting the Community Chest card in Monopoly that says you have to pay $150 for school tax. There were also reports that Zidane head-butted him because the Italian had - no joke - "tweaked his nipple", which everyone knows is illegal because you're not supposed to use your hands.
By all accounts, this was a gripping, dramatic, memorable World Cup filled with close games and tons of emotion, but after hearing about numerous penalty kicks (and having watched the game in which the U.S. was ousted by Ghana following a controversial penalty kick), I can't help but think that soccer, like French nipples, needs some tweaking. It's simply too hard to score in regulation soccer and too easy to score on penalty kicks.
posted by Anonymous @ 6:35 PM
4 Comments:
A very important note on the World Cup: Italy, who won, was scored on twice-- during regulation play-- in this entire tournament. Having brought them to OT in the final, France was obviously one team. The other, however, was none other than Team USA.
Also, USA tied Italy 1-1 in that game (the first round allowed draws as it was a points-based elimination round). So... we tied the world champs!!
Welcome to the US, soccer. ~BS~
Yeah, but that goal for the US against Italy was an "own goal" which means it was kicked into the net by an Italian. I didn't see the game, or the highlights, but I assume the Italian player was trying to pass it to his goalie so he could clear the box and it somehow got past the goalie. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for our ability to score against Italy.
If America doesn't rally behind this tie, I'm moving to the Yukon Territory.
Damn... I underestimated you guys. I was hoping no one would catch that Italy scored on themselves for the US... Oh, well. We gotta take what we can get. ~BS~
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