Imposter fools loan counselor
Yesterday at work, I chatted on the phone with my first obvious student loan imposter. I had an older woman on the line whose husband had taken out a parent loan for their child, but the woman was not authorized on the account. As a result of this, I wasn't allowed to share information about the account with her. She told me that she would get her husband on the line to grant me permission to speak to her and then I hear her yell "Hey Jim, I need you in here" clear as day with her mouth just away from the receiver. Then the woman gets back on the phone, and in probably her deepest voice says "Yes, this is Jim." I knew immediately it was the same person, but I went through with the charade anyway.I asked "Jim" for his address, phone number(s), and place of employment, and I had a difficult time trying to keep from laughing. I had heard other loan counselors talk about tricks you can use to trip up and embarrass these imposters, but I found myself rooting for her. She was making it difficult on herself, though. At one point I asked, "Are there any other telephone numbers you'd like me to add?" and that's where she should have just said no and hurried through the authorization process, but she proceeded to read off two other alternate phone numbers that I could add to his name on the account, prolonging my agony.
I must boast that I played it perfectly. I stayed sober, telling "Jim" after authorization that I could now share information with his wife, and then I continued to pepper my conversation with "her" with phrases such as "I told your husband (such and such)..." I played it so well that I started to get angry after ending the call. "Jim" is probably bragging today about how she pulled one over on the student loan guy.
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After nearly a decade, I finally found something good about baseball's interleague play-- the opportunity for newspaper editors to use freshened headlines. After the Indians' rout of the Cardinals Monday night, Cleveland's Plain-Dealer broke out this emboldened font chestnut: "Runs in the cards as Tribe decks St. Louis." Copy editors in National League cities such as Pittsburgh or San Diego long ago wore out headlines such as this, or "Cardinals flying high," or "LaRussa shuffles the Cards," or "Padres seeing red," but they're fresh vittles for Lake Erie wordsmiths. And what more is left to do in Cleveland with the "Angels" or with the Indians "taming the Tigers" 10 to 12 times a year?
It must be difficult to come up with 162 game recap headlines a year and steer clear of the constants-- "Pujols powers Cards" and "(Your team name here)s send Marquis to early shower." There is no accounting for my extraordinary memory for such things, but my favorite recap headline of all time is "Cards go bump in the ninth." I saw it for the first time living in St. Louis in 1994, but the Post-Dispatch recycled it again for a game last year. That must mean they're on an 11 year cycle. They have yet to use it this year, however, despite a marked increase in opportunities.
posted by CM @ 7:20 PM
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