Thursday, February 16, 2006

Come on, people! Cheney was drunk!

It's terribly obvious. The Vice President has acknowledged only a single beer at lunch before Saturday's mishap, but he walked away from the scene of the crime, claims to have had another cocktail only later, back at the house, and he never had to submit to an alcohol test. The LA Times originally got reports from the owner of the ranch that there was Dr. Pepper served at lunch, but the same person later modified her statement to say there may have been beer in coolers during the hunting "expedition." Hospital officials have refused comment on whether or not the shooting victim's blood-alcohol level was tested, and to top it all, we have Cheney refusing to go public with the story until that same ranch owner finally broke the news to the media 18 hours later. Just as with the financial bookkeeping and narcotics laws of the land, they have their rules, and we have ours.

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Quote of the day: Cheney, responding to Brit Hume's softball question about whether he'll continue to enjoy hunting-- "I can't say that. You know, we canceled the Sunday hunt. I said, look I'm not, we were scheduled to go back out again on Sunday and I said I'm not going to go on Sunday. I want to focus on Harry."

That's right up there with the tale of Brian Piccolo and Gayle Sayers.

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Park the kids in front of the TV and read this story.

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Goodnight, Sammy: Only four men in history have hit more home runs than Sammy Sosa. Their names are Aaron, Bonds, Ruth, and Mays. Today, the only foreign-born slugger in that fivesome quietly announced his retirement.

For 13 years, Sosa was the big blue wall I pushed against in the Cardinals/Cubs rivalry. At varying, and often overlapping, times, he inspired feelings of hatred, fear, awe, begrudging respect, and excitement. Particularly excitement. Cardinals fans were always keenly aware of Sosa's position in the lineup, and the rivalry between the two teams suffered in his absence when he left for Baltimore in 2005. Sammy personified the Chicago Cubs during his tenure in Wrigley's right field. He owned the team. He owned the town. He spoke choppily and carried a big stick. In the City of Big Shoulders, no shoulders were ever bigger.

He shared an almost equal status with Mark McGwire during Big Mac's record-breaking home run assault. If the narrative of the most globally-relevant event in the history of the Cardinals' franchise were told as a Hollywood production, Sosa's name would appear above the title. His legacy, even to a team whose uniform he never wore, is nothing less than that.

Sosa smiled. Sosa swaggered. Sosa slammed. He was a baseball hero.

3 Comments:

At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Story 1: I don't think he was drunk. I think he made a bad decision and shot his buddy in the face. I've thought about a similar treatment for you at times, and I wasn't drunk.

Quote: Yeah - it's stupid.

Story 2: I don't know if it is income that determines the amount of time in front of the TV. I think it is parents. Just because someone is poor doesn't mean they can't play games with their kids, or read them books. Sure, maybe the parents are both tired from working all day, but if you are putting more effort into your job than your kids, you have problems anyway.

Story 3: I'm touched that you have such kind words about a Cub. Even as a fan, I have doubts about Sammy's performance enhancement credibility. It helps that he said he never did it (unlike McGwire), never "accidentally" used the stuff (a la Bonds), and never tested positive (Palmeiro). But going from 292 HRs and no injuries over 5 years to 49 HRs and multiple DL stints over the last 2 years when steroids have been in focus is not a good sign. He'll be in the HOF, as he should be, but he'll never be as loved as he was.

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Isn't that against hunting etiquette to shoot at something that can shoot back and (theoretically at least) defend itself? I think we should be proud of our VP for taking such a vacuous activity and making a real sport out of it.

That being said, no one likes to eat dead animals more than me. Still, I keep thinking of the words of George Carlin, when asked if he likes hunting: "I like hunting accidents."

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Hopefully, Sammy Sosa, Bonds, McGwire, Giambi and Palmeiro won't get voted into the Hall of Fame. I think it'd be cool to have more great players out of the Hall of Fame than in.

Sammy's a first ballot Hall of Famer, but hopefully that place won't stand much longer. Reading Sammy Sosa commentary on the net this week has reminded me why the sports media has done such a successful job making people hate baseball.

 

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