The Chris Moeller Archives

The all new CMA personals

Are you a bachelor destined to be alone this Valentines' Day? Research tells us that if you're reading this blog, there's a 96 percent chance you are. At the Chris Moeller Archives, we have just what you've been looking for. A link to the hottest site on the internet-- www.imaginarygirlfriends.com.

At this site, you can carry on a completely fictitious, yet authentic-looking relationship with the girl of your choice. For a nominal fee, real girls will send you personalized love letters by mail, e-mails, photos, personal gifts (and I do mean "personal"), even phone messages and on-line chat. And if you play all of your cards perfectly, there's a small chance that the imaginary "relationship" will blossom into the real thing. These girls are only human after all. If you've got what it takes, a life of marital happiness and fulfillment awaits just around the corner.

I must confess however to something you may have already discovered. As of 8 o'clock central time Thursday night, there are only two girls available. (What does it say about the state of bachelorhood today that even the choice of imaginary girls has been narrowed to two?)
Regardless, "Erica" and "Karinna" sound interesting, and I've restrained from signing up myself to keep as many options available to my readers as possible.

The website is also looking for women to become "girlfriends," so if this applies to you, just what are you waiting for?! Just remember to send me a wedding invitation after you've found that special person to spend the rest of your life with.

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Not sure how to impress "Erica" or "Karinna?" Try starting with this joke.

A woman is in the workplace. A man walks by and says, "Gee, your hair smells terrific."
The woman rushes into her supervisor's office to file a sexual harassment complaint.
The supervisor asks, "Well, what did he say?"
The woman responds, "He says my hair smells terrific."
The supervisor says, "How can that be sexual harassment?"
The woman says, "He's a midget."

posted by CM @ 8:23 PM